Tuesday, August 24, 2010

Your worst fear post baby...

Warning:  This post is going to be FILLED with the disgustingness that is life post baby.  If you have read my blog before, you know I don't hold anything back.  This is one of those posts. 

Most people have healthy fears post baby. 

Things like:
When will I get to sleep through the night again? 
Will I be able to deliver without a C-Section?
Will I heal quickly? 
How sore am I going to be? 
Is the baby going to be healthy? 
Will I be able to nurse? 
Will I lose the baby weight quickly? 

Surprisingly, none of those concerns were at the top of my list. 

My biggest fear post baby had nothing to do with anything reasonable or rational. 

We went to 2 child birth classes, and the one question I wanted answered, Techy wouldn't let me ask. 

And for some reason no one ever talked about it!

My biggest fear post baby was a poo issue. 

More or less the concern that I couldn't or wouldn't. 

I was terrified of hemmorhoids.  I asked every nurse coming and going if I had them.  I kept thinking one was going to sneak its way out and no one would tell me....   

I was horrified by stitches.  Panicky that any additional straining would pop something loose.

It literally got to the point that if I had to push at all, it wasn't going to happen. 

There were days I spent doubled over in pain because I refused to push. 

If it wasn't going to fall out of me, I wasn't going to do it.

That's when I became very good friends with Dulcolax.

I popped one a day for 2 months. 

Moral to the story:

No one ever tells you how terrified you are going to be with your first post baby bm. 

Until me.

You can thank me later.

5 comments:

Kait said...

LMAO!! ME TOO!! I was super afraid of 'roids!

Carrie said...

Ha ha ha! I was so afraid I was gonna poo while I was pushing! You crack me up!

Debbie Lovette said...

My c-section offered unique fears that I didn't know were even possible! Poo and I kept our distance until I met Mr. Dulcolax. Oh, how I loved the magic of that little tiny pill :)

Ang said...

HA! They didn't give you any in the hospital? They loaded me up in the hospital, so it practically did just fall out lol

Anonymous said...

Not that Tyler and I are even thinking of having kids anytime soon, but honestly...this is fantastic birth control right here. -jenny s.