Thursday, December 31, 2009
Friday, December 25, 2009
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
I am very irritable.
I actually enjoy complaining about the things that are getting to me….
Like the fact that I can’t sit in a chair comfortably anymore. Like the fact that I feel like my arms and legs are giving out on me. Like the fact that the ONLY way to sit comfortably is to hunch my back and round my shoulders like a little old lady. Like the fact that my shoulders hurt…probably from hunching and rounding so much! But seriously, who heard that shoulder pain was a side effect of pregnancy? Come on now….
Things that I would normally laugh at are really getting on my nerves….
Like the fact that people continue to ask me if I am having twins. Really? You have the nerve to ask that?
Like the fact that people who know that I am only having one, think it is funny to ask me if the doctor has really checked to make sure it’s just one! Please…you deserve at least a verbal face slap…not that I ever dole it out, but you deserve it!
Like the fact that my sister keeps saying, “I am so glad it’s you and not me this time!”
And finally, today’s clincher-
Like the fact that no matter how many times I tell people what my baby’s name is going to be, they get it wrong. Ummm, seriously? We have been talking about him for MONTHS now.
You may ask what prompted this tirade…. Please, allow me!
This morning, one of my coworkers (many of which are already getting on my nerves by making polite/impolite comments about my size, my discomfort, as well as their opinions about my future plans) walked up to me and asked the most absurd question ever,
“Are you getting excited about Charlie coming?”
Um, what? Charlie, who? Coming where?
I just looked at her like she had 4 heads. Then it occurred to me. She meant my baby!
In case you don’t know, or haven’t asked, my baby’s name is Charles Connor, BUT we are calling him CONNOR, not CHARLIE! As many times as I have told that to everyone, E-V-E-R-Y-O-N-E, there should be no one who knows us without knowing that. Especially someone who came to my baby shower and signed my card with “Good luck with Baby Connor!”
Back to the story.
So I stared at her like she had 4 heads, until finally she said, “Little Charlie?”
More staring…at this point just because I was irritated that she didn’t have the decency to remember my child’s name when we talk about him daily.
But finally, I said, “Oh, you mean Connor!”
“Oh, you are calling him Connor?”
A moment for the screaming in my head to stop….
“Yes. Connor….” And then some polite conversation about how I am excited for the baby. The most ridiculous, redundant conversation to have at this point.
I don’t think it would have bothered me so much, but she is really, really bad with names and it irritated me before I was pregnant.
For instance, one of our coworker’s son’s name is Kyen, pronounced Ky-in, but she refuses to pronounce it correctly – she always calls him Cayanne, pronounce Ki-yan, with the second syllable all drawn out, like the pepper. No matter how many times we have corrected her, she still calls him Cayanne…. Come on, just try a little harder, I know you can do it!
One of my girlfriend’s said she has repeatedly experienced the same thing. Her little boy’s name is Tristan…but no one ever calls him that. More often than not, he gets called Christian—I get that, and she does too (she isn't pregnantly irritated at EVERYTHING right now). Sounds very similar and Tristan is an uncommon name. But then she said that someone at work called him “Trisket”, i.e., the cracker?! Seriously, you think I would name my child after a flakey snack cracker?! So she has offered a new suggestion for all the pronunciation challenged people in her life and has started calling her little man, "T". So simple, so understandable, so adorable. I am sure there are still people who could mix that up and call him "P", but I would say the occurrences are not as often!
Which leads me to my next suggestion – if you don’t know what my child’s name is, don’t try to fake it. (I am much too irritable for that.) Use some kind of cute nickname – “Little Man” works just fine for me.
My bet is that even after this baby is here, and people at work talk about Connor, the offender won’t know who they are talking about and will still call my Little Man, “Charlie”. Maybe by then, I won’t be quite so irritable and will handle it better.
Monday, December 21, 2009
Life is never going to be the same again, and I have bid farewell to my old life forever. I have made my peace with that. The only thing to do now is get on with it and start making life tolerable again.
The first step in doing that is…
GET THIS FREAKING BABY OUT OF ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
If you read my last blog entry, you know that I got a little upset last week about delivery and pretty much closed up shop.
THINGS HAVE CHANGED…
For one, I am so freaking miserable that I can’t take this much longer. I feel like I am going to lose my mind if something doesn’t soon change.
My tailbone is still throbbing and of course I have welcomed a new, "friendly" (a.k.a. hateful, crappy, horrendous, crippling) pain accompanying it in another, more centralized location. I am no longer able to walk properly due to the pressure. Believe or not, people actually have the audacity to laugh at me. They obviously don't realize the dangers of upsetting a pregnant woman.
The good news?
I go for my next appointment on Wednesday morning, and I am just sure that she will tell me that I am dilated 6 cm and 120% effaced and they need me to run over to the hospital so they can check me in before the baby falls out of me.
More good news?
Apparently, I still have a sense of humor as well as an amazing imagination!
The bad news?
Despite my best efforts, including but not limited to galavanting out during the blizzard, dancing my pants off at the wedding, shopping for WAY too long yesterday, nesting like a crazy person (I literally unwrapped Christmas gifts and re-wrapped them yesterday!), and every other old wives tale in the book, Little Man has still not made his appearance.
The good news?
There is still a chance I could go into labor naturally, which would obviously be my first choice.
The bad news?
This is still a first time pregnancy, and very few of them go early, so I will more than likely be pregnant for another week and delivering Little Man sometime next Monday.
The good news?
There is no more good news. A week is too long! I can't take it anymore!
Friday, December 18, 2009
I have unfortunately failed in one of my goals. I was never able to learn the Single Ladies’ Dance! Not for a lack of trying…last night, alone, I spent a solid hour, possibly more, trying to learn the trademark wiggles and kicks. I won’t lie, I look pretty remarkable doing the dance, especially since I was not able to haul my butt out of a chair to do it, so I was attempting to replicate the moves while sitting in our rolley office chair. But from the chair I can’t kick, I can’t wiggle, I certainly cannot manage bending to the ground on one leg, while stretching the other out to the side!
Since I cannot lug my rolley office chair to a wedding, however, I absolutely will not be able do the dance. Not in a box, not with a fox…I cannot do it, Sam I Am.
In case you want to know how bad dexterity is these days…. Last night, I sat in the floor for about 20 minutes in order to assemble a baby toy that had been given to us, but when I went to stand up, I couldn’t get up! I practically had to lie down in the floor, roll to one side and use my arms and legs to maneuver myself into a crouching position in order to get upright. RIDICULOUS!
When I announced my pregnancy, I promised one of my girlfriends that I would not let my life revolve around the pregnancy. Although I could argue my innocence in several ways, to someone who has never been pregnant, I flat out lied. All my facebook statuses are related to my little man or my pregnancy woes. All my blog entries discuss my pregnancy in some way or another. Sorry about that! I had no idea what I was talking about when I made that promise and if you are offended by my drastic lifestyle change, you need to know that pregnancy has got to be one of the strangest things I have ever experienced in both good and bad ways, and I just wanted to share that weirdness, because I love to share weirdness! I promise that if you ever speak to me again, I have other things to talk about as long as you don’t ask me about my pregnancy or the baby.
I want my life to be normal again. I don’t want to have to bend over a giant belly anymore, but I don’t want to have to get up every few hours all night long to feed a crying baby either. Terrible, huh? Yes, I am a terrible person and I am pretty sure I will be a rotten mother for a while.
I slightly resent the fact that my husband gets off so easily with this whole situation. I mean really, I had to provide my greenhouse of a body for 10 months to grow this thing, then I have to sacrifice my genitals to get him out of me, and of course, we are going to try the breastfeeding thing, so the child will be totally dependent on me for feedings as well…. And then after just 1 week of helping take care of the little guy, Techy gets to go to work for 9 hrs a day and forget about keeping Little Man alive. So unfair.
I am being very pessimistic today.
I was doing just fine with all of this until last night when Techy decided it would be fun to Google child birth videos. DON’T EVER DO THAT! EVER!!! The video we watched was from like 1980-something and the mother had to have an episiodomy. If you don’t know what that is, lucky you. But we watched it. And I have been sitting with my legs crossed ever since. I am not telling ANYONE if I have a contraction. Maybe he can just stay in there for a while. I don’t know why they ever did away with that whole “knock mom out and let her wake up when her baby is here” thing. Seems like a much better option.
Pretty sure that video pushed me right over the edge....
I am 99.9% sure that I am going to have this baby this weekend.
-I am 2 cm dilated and 80% effaced, meaning that Little Man is approaching the runway.
-My tailbone hurts like crazy, meaning that Little Man is approaching the runway.
-It is supposed to snow 8-10 inches of snow this weekend.
-My parents are going to be snowed in with predictions of more than a foot of snow coming their way and they definitely won’t be able to be here until sometime next week.
AND THE CLINCHER?
-I am currently terrified of giving birth and have talked myself out if.
Yep, I will be very surprised if he hasn’t arrived by Monday.
Monday, December 14, 2009
Yesterday, I did something so incredibly ridiculous.
Yesterday, at 38 weeks pregnant, practically ready to burst, I drove an hour north, in the pouring down rain, risking life and limb to see a celebrity. Ok, so you probably don’t classify her as a celebrity, but I sooo do. I mean, she published a book, she was in a magazine, and she has been on TV at least twice now – the Bonnie Hunt show and QVC! Therefore she IS a celebrity. She freakin’ met Paula Deen while on QVC—definitely celeb-worthy.
Ok, so she isn’t a real celebrity. She is merely a normal person that happened to create a blog about her extremely normal life and it caught on. She calls herself “The Pioneer Woman”—you may have heard of her.
Well, yesterday, I met her. As I said before, I drove an hour away (technically a no-no when you are this close to giving birth, but I kept telling myself I was only 15 minutes away from the state line and very close to several great hospitals….) and waited for 4 ½ hrs for 3 reasons….
1. A lady in my church wanted to go, but couldn’t. She had asked me to pick up an autographed cookbook for her IF I went.
2. It isn’t every day that you get to meet even a semi-celebrity for free (or very little cost, once I had paid for my cookbooks….) I knew that if I let the opportunity pass I would completely regret it.
3. I really wanted this picture for MY blog….
And she was very accommodating. There was quite the crowd. There was Q & A time. There were savvy women. There were giddy, not so savvy women. There were a few men. There were mommy’s with lots of adorable babies. And there was me. HUGE. PREGNANT. ALONE.
For the record, when I posed next to her, I think I surprised her. I don’t think she was expecting me to plop my big ole belly up on her shoulder!
Don’t worry, before I left, I apologized for any long term damage her close contact with my enormous mid-section may have caused.
All that being said, I succeeded in accomplishing my goal. I met my celebrity and definitely left an impression or quite possibly a bruise!
Friday, December 11, 2009
One of my girlfriends had twins this summer, and somehow she managed to carry them to 38 weeks, which is where I am now. How in the world she maneuvered around 2 of these little people is incredible to me!
This little guy kicks me in the gut all the time and occasionally, he will strum my rib cage with his toes…super painful…super annoying.
For the record, the main reason I am documenting this information is so I won’t forget. In a few years when I start to think that having another one is a great idea, I want to remember a few things….
- Morning Sickness. From the time I hit 6 weeks until at least 12 or 13, I was constantly nauseated.
- Bladder Control Issues – I thought I had a small bladder before…yeah, right!
- Leg Cramps – They were wretched until I started taking my vitamins before bed. Let this be a lesson to any of you who may be pregnant or may get pregnant…take your vitamins every night before going to bed! It makes for a much better sleepy-time!
- Blood tests, blood tests, and more blood tests
- The pain in my side that started around 20 weeks and never fully went away
- Feeling sore and bruised from the inside out
- Back Aches
- Worries, lots and lots of worries.
- Swollen feet
- Double chin
- Stretch Marks – giant stretch marks!
- Moving like an old woman every morning when my hips ache from the loosening and separating….
- Hot hands
The only good point I have experienced so far?
That stuff they say about women’s hormones kicking up in the 2nd trimester and your love life being really, really good…. It’s really, really true. (Sorry for the TMI, just being honest...)
After visiting my doctor yesterday, I now know that I am still probably several weeks away from delivery but I am growing more uncomfortable with every day. New aches and pains develop almost daily. Everyone insists that you get so miserable toward the end that you forget about the fact that your whole life is going to change and you really just want that baby to get here. Although there is a certain part of me that would relish nothing so much as to be done being pregnant, I have yet to forget what comes next.
After all, if this little guy can disrupt my life while he is still tucked in my belly, how much more will he do once he arrives? I am praying that I am one of the lucky ones who ends up with a baby that comes out sleeping 6 hrs a night, but I am highly skeptical. Just a few more days until we know for sure.
OK, gotta go, I am feeling a little lightheaded now…life…changing…completely…changing…. So…terrified….
Thursday, December 10, 2009
Today Techy, my sweet hubby, got to experience something he never dreamed that he would ever experience…. Today Techy’s office threw him a surprise BABY SHOWER!!!!
I was in on the secret, because they, of course, invited me. However, I could not attend as I had a previously scheduled visit with my doctor that I absolutely could not miss.
As fun as it would have been for me to be there, it is much more enjoyable to think of Techy squirming from what I can only assume was one of the most uncomfortable situations he has ever been placed in. Had I been there, it would remove far too much of that pressure from him, and that would just be wrong! Every time I think of him sitting there with cute little bags and boxes around his feet as he awkwardly tries to open gifts I have to smile!
I hope there were lots of bows and tissue paper! I hope there were bunches of baby clothes for him to act excited about!!! I hope there was one of these:
He will come home with it and say something to the effect of, "I have no idea what this is, but isn't it cool? Can you return some of the stuff you bought and use this stuff instead?" Because that's what he says about everything we have gotten from baby showers.
I hope someone took pictures!!!! Imagining my husband, whose favorite past time is playing video games and burning things, opening tiny baby things and trying to be excited about it while also being the center of attention, is just too much for me!
As much as I know he won't enjoy being the center of attention for that time, I do know that he will love the fact that the people he works with felt the need to do something for him. He loves his job and he adores the people he works with and for. I can't wait to have this little guy here so Techy and I can introduce him to all those wonderful people!
Monday, December 7, 2009
Remembering those times are sad, and yet, in times like these, when my life refuses to calm down, part of me misses those days.
I have decided that my newest goal, which I will add to my ever growing list, is apparently to allow myself as little time as possible to sit on my couch and DO NOTHING until the baby gets here. All evenings possible should be filled with running, doing, baking, cleaning, planning, talking, and all other exhausting plights.
Last week, someone asked me if the pregnancy insomnia has begun yet, (for the record, I have been dreading the “insomnia” stage since the first day I found out I was pregnant.) and surprisingly, I was honestly able to reply with a no (so far - fingers crossed). If I had to guess, I would venture to say that is only because I keep myself so busy every day that by the time I hit the pillow at night, my body is screaming for the sleep that I need. ( I can only imagine the devastation this will work on me once this little guy is here and I am used to a good 7 hrs of solid sleep every night.)
This past weekend was a prime example of my busy-ness. Friday night, I ran out of work, drove across town to pick up my husband from his mechanic, then dashed home to start straightening up my house. (I’ve learned there are limits to things that a pregnant woman can do, and I had invited 2 of my favorite teenagers to come over on Saturday in order to try to get my house together. But I had to do a little pre-work—there was no way I was going to let them to see it in the shape it was in on Friday!) After about 30 minutes of that, my girlfriend picked me up and we headed off to a poker party at another friend’s house for the evening.
Saturday was much the same. Up at dawn, groceries, shopping with the mother-in-law, back home to wait for my teenage assistants, wrapping gifts, baking cookies, cleaning, taking Techy to pick up his car, more baking, more cleaning, crafts, and some time around midnight, bed.
Sunday, up a little after dawn, church, more baking, cookie party, youth Christmas party. CONSTANT RUNNING! Needless to say, last night I was EXHAUSTED. As I climbed into bed, I was able to see my feet for the first time all day….they looked like my husbands! You probably don’t understand the full impact of that statement, but I tease my husband ruthlessly about his “Barney Rubble feet”—when my feet start to resemble Barney Rubble’s…well, you can imagine my concern. When I nearly cried over the size of them, Techy kindly offered to rub them before we went to sleep, and I graciously accepted. However, this morning I woke up with the same swollen, manly-looking stubs at the end of my legs – guess the rubbing can only do so much.
I don't think my hands are that much better. Don’t get me wrong, they aren’t swollen, but they are distinctly different than they were pre-gestation. There was a time when my extremities were always cold. Ok, so let’s just be honest, there was a time when my entire body was cold and my extremities were icy. The body that I am currently occupying is rarely cold, and my hands and feet are actually the warmest portions.
Last night, I reached over to pat Techy on the shoulder, and when I made contact with him, he jumped and jerked away like I had hit him. When I questioned the gesture, he leaned over and whispered, “You burned me!” I almost fell out of my chair laughing.
Oh how things have changed!
All that being said, this morning, I started my day with a fairly light week ahead of me, since then I managed to fill up my Tuesday night, Wednesday night, possibly Thursday and Friday, and Saturday was already filled. Considering the events now on my schedule in correlation to my current body issues, I can only hope to find appropriate shoes to fit my enormous, manly feet, since they apparently want to stick around for a while. On the upside, I won’t have to worry about finding gloves to match my outfit, even if it snows, since my hands are the same temperature as the sun!
Thursday, December 3, 2009
Looking back over the last 4 years, I realize I had no idea what life held for us.
In high school, I thought 4 years was an eternity. In college, 4 years was a long time. And now, 4 years has passed without me even knowing it. How did that happen?! And in the last 4 years, we have experienced the highest of highs and lowest of lows.
So much has changed in 4 years. Like this…
We started out in the tiniest 1 bedroom apartment we could find for the first 10 months of our marriage.
And then we bought this….
And then we got one of these….
And decided we needed this….
And then we got the crazy notion that we needed one of these...
So yes, lots has changed in the last 4 years.... I can only imagine what the next 4 years will bring. It's pretty exciting and terrifying all at the same time. But, some things haven't changed...
like the fact that I have my best friend by my side to share the laughter, the tears, the good times, and the bad--sleepless nights and all. I love you, honey!
Tuesday, December 1, 2009
To be honest, as far as Thanksgivings go, this was an interesting one. We arrived home to find my parent’s house completely torn apart – they were in the midst of a remodeling project that I was not aware of until we were half way there. Imagine the scene—walking through the door into my parent’s family room, 9 months pregnant, tired, and sore from the 6 hrs of riding to find bare subflooring and only 2 places to sit available, one of which was occupied by every blanket in the house and my mother nailing in a second layer of subflooring. I had to laugh. Mom almost cried. Long story short, we needed rest, and weren’t going to get it at Mom and Dad’s, so we unloaded the Gizzer’s (did I mention that we have a dog?) and headed off for my sister’s house. Out of the goodness of their hearts, my sister and her husband allowed us the use of their bedroom (ya know, since I am 9 months pregnant and all) and they relocated to the guest room. However, we all forgot some very important things in the transition….
1. The baby monitor perches on my sister’s bedside table so she can hear all the adorable little noises her 8 month makes throughout the night.
2. My 2 year old nephew occasionally wakes up and likes to run into their room and climb in bed with them.
In case you are not good with math, situation 1 + situation 2 = no rest for the weary, and a very miserable, headachy hubby. A.K.A. A very LOOOOOOOONG Thanksgiving day.
Lucky for us, we could rest on Friday…NOT!!! For us, Thanksgiving is a wonderful time to thank God for all our blessings—big or small—cherish all your strange family members, eat, give thanks, and strategize for our biggest shopping day of the year. My sister and I started the tradition a few years ago, and after I got married, my husband naturally fell into line with us. Usually, my sister’s husband watches the kids while my husband keeps us safe in the 1-2 major stores on our list before we take him and our first bags of loot home to catch up on some rest.
By Friday night, my husband was miserable, cranky, sick to his stomach from the monumental headache that sleep deprivation had evoked.
By Friday night, I was tired, sore, pregnant, miserable, cranky, mean, and pure evil to my loving, very miserable hubby. After a brief phone call to mom, we determined that we needed to go back to their house at least to sleep, and sleep we did! From 9 or 10 that night until 9 or 10 the next morning.
All that being said, I have learned a few new things to be thankful for this year…
-Houses with finished floors – carpet, hardwood, laminate, linoleum, doesn’t matter. If it has a floor, you can probably put furniture, including things to sit on in the room, which leads me to my next item….
-Seating…need I say more?
-My old body…the one that was 45 lbs. lighter. The one that I used to think was fat. The one that could climb stairs without panting like a dog in 95 degree weather. The one that could bend over. The one that weighed less than my husband!
-Sleep-filled nights…And I am not even experiencing the 3 hour feedings yet!
-A happy, well-rested husband
-A fenced in yard that Gizzy can run around in without worry
-Amazingly generous family members who will do whatever it takes to TRY to make you comfortable in spite of the chaos in their own lives.
My hope is that by next year at this time, I can say that I am thankful for these things again because I am enjoying them again. Only time will tell.