Dear World, I am sorry – very, very sorry.
I am very irritable.
I actually enjoy complaining about the things that are getting to me….
Like the fact that I can’t sit in a chair comfortably anymore. Like the fact that I feel like my arms and legs are giving out on me. Like the fact that the ONLY way to sit comfortably is to hunch my back and round my shoulders like a little old lady. Like the fact that my shoulders hurt…probably from hunching and rounding so much! But seriously, who heard that shoulder pain was a side effect of pregnancy? Come on now….
Things that I would normally laugh at are really getting on my nerves….
Like the fact that people continue to ask me if I am having twins. Really? You have the nerve to ask that?
Like the fact that people who know that I am only having one, think it is funny to ask me if the doctor has really checked to make sure it’s just one! Please…you deserve at least a verbal face slap…not that I ever dole it out, but you deserve it!
Like the fact that my sister keeps saying, “I am so glad it’s you and not me this time!”
And finally, today’s clincher-
Like the fact that no matter how many times I tell people what my baby’s name is going to be, they get it wrong. Ummm, seriously? We have been talking about him for MONTHS now.
You may ask what prompted this tirade…. Please, allow me!
This morning, one of my coworkers (many of which are already getting on my nerves by making polite/impolite comments about my size, my discomfort, as well as their opinions about my future plans) walked up to me and asked the most absurd question ever,
“Are you getting excited about Charlie coming?”
Um, what? Charlie, who? Coming where?
I just looked at her like she had 4 heads. Then it occurred to me. She meant my baby!
In case you don’t know, or haven’t asked, my baby’s name is Charles Connor, BUT we are calling him CONNOR, not CHARLIE! As many times as I have told that to everyone, E-V-E-R-Y-O-N-E, there should be no one who knows us without knowing that. Especially someone who came to my baby shower and signed my card with “Good luck with Baby Connor!”
Back to the story.
So I stared at her like she had 4 heads, until finally she said, “Little Charlie?”
More staring…at this point just because I was irritated that she didn’t have the decency to remember my child’s name when we talk about him daily.
But finally, I said, “Oh, you mean Connor!”
“Oh, you are calling him Connor?”
A moment for the screaming in my head to stop….
“Yes. Connor….” And then some polite conversation about how I am excited for the baby. The most ridiculous, redundant conversation to have at this point.
I don’t think it would have bothered me so much, but she is really, really bad with names and it irritated me before I was pregnant.
For instance, one of our coworker’s son’s name is Kyen, pronounced Ky-in, but she refuses to pronounce it correctly – she always calls him Cayanne, pronounce Ki-yan, with the second syllable all drawn out, like the pepper. No matter how many times we have corrected her, she still calls him Cayanne…. Come on, just try a little harder, I know you can do it!
One of my girlfriend’s said she has repeatedly experienced the same thing. Her little boy’s name is Tristan…but no one ever calls him that. More often than not, he gets called Christian—I get that, and she does too (she isn't pregnantly irritated at EVERYTHING right now). Sounds very similar and Tristan is an uncommon name. But then she said that someone at work called him “Trisket”, i.e., the cracker?! Seriously, you think I would name my child after a flakey snack cracker?! So she has offered a new suggestion for all the pronunciation challenged people in her life and has started calling her little man, "T". So simple, so understandable, so adorable. I am sure there are still people who could mix that up and call him "P", but I would say the occurrences are not as often!
Which leads me to my next suggestion – if you don’t know what my child’s name is, don’t try to fake it. (I am much too irritable for that.) Use some kind of cute nickname – “Little Man” works just fine for me.
My bet is that even after this baby is here, and people at work talk about Connor, the offender won’t know who they are talking about and will still call my Little Man, “Charlie”. Maybe by then, I won’t be quite so irritable and will handle it better.