Thursday, December 31, 2009

A few of my favorite things...

Tiny fingers wrapped around mine.
Baby fine hair that stands on end.
Little eyes that cross when they try to focus on my face.
Big yawns.
Baby grunts and noises.

News flash!!! In case you didn't know or have been in a cave for the week, Little Man arrived late Monday afternoon. I have never been so relieved and so terrified in all my life! It's been a rough week for all of us, but he's here. And I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE him. He's absolutely beautiful.

I won't lie, though. I did not have that instant rush of love that so many mothers claim to have. As a matter of fact, after delivery, I didn't feel much of anything for a while. I was relieved and scared, but I didn't feel much of anything when they handed him to me. All I could think is, "Oh dear, something must be wrong with me." I knew he was mine, I knew that I carried him for months on end, but all I felt was relief. He was here, he was healthy. My job was done. (Oh was I wrong)

And then night happened. Doctors were gone. Nurses were at their stations. Techy was asleep in the bed next to mine. Mom had gone home to get her 20 winks. And there he was. Still awake, making the cutest little noises ever. He cried, he ate, he slept. And I...


Don't get me wrong. The past few days have been among the hardest days I have ever lived through. But he's really, really worth it. And if I can say that now, imagine how I will feel when the really good stuff starts.

I know every mother thinks their child is beautiful, but mine really is.

And if you don't believe me, try to argue with this....
Go ahead. Just try.

He's crying again. I have to go back to the hard work of being mommy, but I really don't mind at all. It's one of my new favorite things!

1 comment:

katie lynn said...

Awesome, Leah. Embracing the blessing in spite of the struggle. So glad to hear it. Conner is well worth the struggle! Congratulations!