I think we all know that I married a nerd.
Excuse me, he is a Techno-Geek.
Which is a substrain of Nerd.
Just to clarify.
(Question: does such knowledge make me a nerd? or perhaps a substrain of nerd?)
Growing up, I never really thought I would end up married to a nerd.
Ironic since I dated a whole passel of them in college.
But it's true.
I spent most of my childhood immersed in the assumption that if I were ever going to find love, I was going to have to learn everything there was to know about sports.
Because, as a child, every man I knew was obsessed with the sport.
Well, football AND racing...
I mean, it was the south, after all....
But after much consideration I chose football as my portal into a man's heart.
(It may or may not have had something to do with the fact that I generally become extremely dizzy watching cars drive in circles for hours without end....)
It would be the key to me finding true love.
The butter to my Paula Deen recipe.
The glass slipper if you will.
You know, wrapped in brown leather and shoulder pads.
My secret ingredient.
I went to football games, I watched football games, I played football games....
I loved the sport.
I was a southern boy's dream come true.
And then I got to college.
And dated nerds.
Who were not southern.
Who didn't play football.
Who didn't watch football.
Who really didn't care about football.
And then I married one of them.
You can imagine my disappointment when I realized that my years of valuable football knowledge were all for naught.
Until this day happened....
My friends, that was the day that I realized something valuable.
All those years of football knowledge are no longer wasted.
Because someone is gonna have to teach this kid what a first down is.
And I have my doubts that it will be Techy.
Unless, of course, he orders those "Football for Dummies" books that he keeps talking about....