Sunday, January 16, 2011

Growing Pains

Wow.  2 Serious posts in one week.  Sorry, guys, but it's gotta come out.

For the past year, my little guy has been in the safe and wonderful hands of one of the most amazing day care ladies I have ever met.
More than being my day care lady, she is my friend, and as close to family as this little Southern girl has had.

I have been ever so thankful for her.

But today, I got the phone call that I should have expected.

Only I wasn't.

She's closing her doors due to the need to care for her elderly mother.

And I am sad.

Sad for her.

Sad for me.

Sad for Little Man.

Just typing the words hurts.

It sounds so ridiculous, I know.

But it's her mom, who I love so desperately.

And it's my baby, who loves them both even more than I do!

He has spent hours with her.

Day after day.

He loves her.

By golly, his 3rd word was her name.

In the end, my head knows that change is good.

And my head knows that this doesn't surprise God.

My head even realizes that He has something else out there for us. 

But on this Sunday night when we have nowhere else to call and only time to worry, this is where I go.

You know, after hiding under the covers all afternoon and crying my eyeballs out.

I know there are other options out there.

It certainly isn't as if she was the only day care lady who ever existed.

But I had so many plans for this year.

So many hopes.

Finding a new day care situation, and I'll just say it, PAYING for a new day care situation was not among MY plans.

Teaching Little Man to be comfortable in a new environment - especially at this age - is not something I wanted to deal with.

Today, I cry, I pray, I hope, I wait, and yes, I worry.

Tomorrow will probably be much the same. 

Even as I have to drop him off every day for the next 2 weeks, I know the tears will fall.

But I know that so often in life we would never get anywhere if we never moved on.

And I trust that that's what this will do.

Move us to something better.

Both for her and for us.

I am so going to miss knowing that Little Man is with his "Isaaaaaaaaa!"

But I am trusting that God knows something better than I do.

Sorry for this depressing detour on my happy go lucky journey!

Until tomorrow!

Goodnight, Friends.


tracey :) said...

remember... GOD loves you!!! ok
next breath....
know that its ALL in HIS plan...
next breath...
yes it sucks!!!!
next breath...
then breath again....
we will never understand gods timing or why he does things... but all we can do is trust... i know i know its easier said than done... but it happens... go ahead cry, baul & let it all out!!!
then tomorrow suck it up & lets move on... if you need anything please dont hestiate to call or text... trust me ive been there.. with a 3 week old newborn.. so i totally understand!!! :)
love ya... & love little man...
oh... & i love your jewish husband!!! hahaha!! :)

Roberta said...

Ahh Leah...I feel for you for sure. I remember those days and many years I was a single mom...and daycare was my life-saver because it allowed me to go to work with some peace of mind. Just remember that your baby picks up on EVERY nuance that you emit so if you are feeling good and open hearted about the new situation then he will adapt to this change and any future changes very well. Teach him to handle change as an adventure and you will be giving him the best gift. AND remember...this too will pass. Best wishes for you and hope this helps. Fondly, Roberta