Sock Season

It’s been a few weeks since I determined that since my toes were turning blue and starting to fall off getting a little chilly due to the cold weather, it was time to start donning the closed-toe shoe again.

But over the last week, something horrible has happened.

Something that only a person partial to a freely breathing toes can appreciate….

Due to the frigid, arctic, brisk temperatures, I have determined that closed toe isn’t enough.

And I have donned the wretched, dreaded tights.

For the record, they were not named tights because of how comfy they are.

And I am pretty sure that some man somewhere invented them in revenge for the necktie that some evil woman had created for him.

On the upside.

The ONLY upside.

With tights, socks, stockings, pantyhose, or whatever you like to call them (I like to call them “those blasted things I only wear to keep warm!”) you may forego shaving for as long as you like.

Or until your husband stages an intervention.

Like mine did last week, after I determined that my shaving was done for the year.

(In case you are interested, it went something like this:

Me – lying in bed: Honey, would you like to pray?

Techy: What is THAT?

Me: What?

Techy: Is there a cactus under the covers?

Me: Oh sorry, I stopped shaving for the year since it’s sock season.

Techy: (Praying) Dear Heavenly Father, please help my lovely wife to realize that she needs to shave her legs if she wants to sleep under the covers with me…”

Me: Stop it! Pray for real.

Techy: Lord, please forgive her for interrupting my prayer, and please either help her to shave or help her leg to no longer grow hair! PLEASE? Amen.

Am I the only one who thinks it's a little unfair that he brought God in on the intervention?  Like I stood a fair chance! 

But I HAVE shaved every day since.)

On the downside to Sock Season,

MY FEET CANNOT BREATHE!

On the upside, I don’t have to paint my toenails. (which we all know I don’t do anyway!)

On the downside, I don’t have an excuse for a pedicure.

On the upside, I do have some spectacularly cute closed-toe shoes.

On the downside, most of them are way less comfortable than the flip-flops I sported ever since I got back from my maternity leave.

On the upside, I do have knock-off Ugg’s this year.

On the downside, they are knock-offs and I can only wear them on jeans day.

On the upside…Ok, so there are no more ups.

But you better believe that I will be checking the weather everyday from here on out, and the next time the temperature is above 70 degrees, you can expect to see my toesies in all their chipped nail-polished glory!