Wednesday, January 9, 2013

Helpful-How-To: Miracle Cream

Have you ever had one of those days when everything goes wrong?

And then it gets worse?

That's just what kind of day I was having the day I learned about the miracle cream.

It was one of those days when both of the kids had been sick.

And all the bills were due.

And the dog pooped in the floor.


AND I was having a bad hair day.

In a nutshell, it was a VERRRRY bad day.

Baby Girl was cutting teeth. (She has been for a small eternity...)

And her diapers were...well, if you have ever had a teething baby, you know...YUCK.

And with that comes a wicked diaper rash.

Think open sores.

Think baby-sobs as soon as you open the diaper.

I think I cried.

And I know she did.

It was pitiful.

So I did what every good mother does.

I dropped everything and ran to the store to buy every diaper rash cream they had.

And when that didn't work, I panicked.

Had it not been 8 o'clock at night, I'd have called the doctor's office.

But instead, I called my sister.

And being the wealth of information that only a mom of 3 can be, she told me to Google it...

That she had heard of a miracle cream that could be made from common household items.

Gosh, she's brilliant!

And not just when it comes to numbers!

Within minutes, I had found the secret!

Apparently, the secret concoction involves equal parts diaper rash cream, oatmeal, and...drumroll please...


I know.

It sounds crazy.

But the explanation* made sense.

And desperate momma's will try almost anything.

So I mixed up a quick batch and slathered it all over the scary rash.

Then wrapped her up tight and put her to bed.

And proceeded to twiddle my thumbs for the next 12 hours waiting to see if it worked.

And chewed every nail off.

Fingers and toes!


Only Techy does that....

But yeah, I passed the night with bated breath waiting to see if it worked.

And, obviously, I am posting this, so....

It worked!!

You're totally shocked right now, right?


I'm really good at punch lines.

But by the next morning, the rash wasn't just better, it was almost GONE.

Sadly, I have had to keep the concoction mixed up, because every 2 weeks or so the teething diapers return along with the rash.

Someone remind me how long teething actually lasts????


Lucky for me, the miracle cream works FAST.

Otherwise I'd have no fingernails or toenails by now.

Just kidding!!!

But in case you ever need it, now you know!

Be glad you know me.

Now you don't have to google it in a panic when your it happens to your teether!

*the active ingredients neutralize the acid in icky diapers.... Nuff said!

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