Princess with a capital P

When I was a teenager, my sister was OBSESSED with Prince William. Oh.My.Goodness. Hearthrob! She used to tell everyone that she was going to marry him. We even started calling her Princess Sarah in preparation for the day that she would finally become royalty. She planned what she would do as a princess, where they would travel...the list went on and on. She was absolutely devastated when Princess Di passed away.

To this day, I am still not sure whether or not she seriously thought she was going to marry Prince William, but I can’t really ridicule her, I spent a good portion of my teenage years in love with Bryan White – a country music singer from my youth. I got a good bit closer to my goal than she did to hers. I actually met Bryan White. Of course, I was still in my ugly duckling stage – Gynormous plastic glasses and all. (Have I mentioned how bitter I am about the fact that teenage girls today don’t go through an ugly duckling stage?) And he was in his “I-am-a-country-music-star-I-can-have-any-girl-I-want” phase. But that’s a story for another time. Thankfully, this time I didn’t decide a handstand was the key to getting his attention as I have been known to do.

Back to the point of my story. My sister was in love with Prince William. Planning their wedding and all. The only glitch in her plan was that he didn’t know a thing about her.
She thought and thought and thought about it. Finally, she decided that the best way to make herself famous was to act famous.

Her grand scheme went something like this: after we graduated high school, she would rent (yes, rent, with all the money she earned while working at Kroger, bagging groceries) a tour bus, and then have her name painted on the back of the bus and drive it around the country. The pivotal part of her plan was that I would be planted in the towns she was planning to “tour” and as her bus pulled into town, I would raise awareness by saying things like, “Oh my gosh! SARAH is here! Can you believe it? I can’t believe it! It’s SARAH!” By drawing the attention of all around, I would eventually start riots in the street as she attempted to leave her tour bus, thus ensuring that her name would end up in newspapers across the country.

Can’t imagine why we never carried out that amazing plan of hers…. Maybe because I didn’t feel like going to jail in 250 towns across the country for rioting in the streets.

Sorry, I let you down, sis!

Instead of marrying a prince, she married a police officer. Instead of becoming a princess, she became an accountant. Instead of travelling the world, she had 2 ½ babies (#3 is due in September) who, other than my own, are among the most adorable children on the planet. But trust me, just because she doesn’t have the title, does not mean she isn’t a princess! And honestly, she wouldn’t trade her life for anything – not even Prince William!

But I am thinking that at some point on our vacation, I may make her don a pair of designer shades and let me follow her around chanting “Oh my gosh! It’s SARAH!” at the top of my lungs and just see what happens.