Lifestyles of the not so rich and famous

So, last week when I called my mother and said, "Can you come get me this weekend?" I totally thought it was an awesome idea. I mean, it had been 3 and 1/2 weeks since the Little Man's arrival and I was totally psyched that I had kept him alive this long. Figured I deserved a little R&R. And once I go back to work, who knows when the next visit to Virginia will be.


Now I am rethinking things.


I am a walking, talking, living, breathing advertisement for Murphy's Law.


We arrived late Saturday evening with minimal travelling complications. Awaiting us were my mom, my sister and her 2 adorable children. We talked and laughed. I fed the baby. We enjoyed our visit. I noticed that my niece had a bad cough, but my sister reassured me that they had been to the doctor--it was the results of a sinus infection and she had been on antibiotics since last week. So life went on.


Sunday, my sister returned to mom's with her kids in tow. After an hour or so, my sister mentioned that her little one wasn't really eating or drinking. After a few more hours, she was coughing her little head off. I started to get a little nervous, but my sister reassured me yet again that she had been on antibiotics and any infection that she may have had would not have been contagious at that point.


Then, Monday morning happened.... When I opened my bedroom door, I was overwhelmed with the scent of bleach and lysol. On her way out the door, mom told me that my sister had called. They had taken my niece to the ER during the night where they diagnosed her with RSV - an extremely contagious disease that effects mostly babies and children - complicating their breathing. For infants, the disease is very dangerous.

Of course. Of course. Of course.

Techy was in no way happy about this visit to begin with. Now the "I told you so" oozes through the phone everytime we talk.

As difficult as it is to be home alone with a newborn, it is even more difficult to be away from home alone with a new baby. It was one thing when I was coming to spend time with my family. Now, my mom is spending her days at the hospital with my sister and the baby and daddy is at work. Oh, what luck I have.

The Trek

Today is a monumental day.

Less than 28 days after I delivered the Little Man, we made our first journey.

Lessons learned:

-Travelling light is not possible with a baby. I packed like I was moving to a different country.

-Breastfeeding at roadside gas stations is VERY interesting. Thank God for tinted windows!

-When travelling with your historically minded father and you need to stop to breastfeed your newborn, expect to hit up the nearest Civil War battlegrounds and enjoy the AM 610 information station advertising said battlefield.

-It has been approximately 12 hours since I left home and I miss my hubby terribly. Truthfully, Techy was less than enthused about my journey. (For those of you who know how ridiculous he has been, it is probably only because with me and the Little Man in Virginia, he can't control who does or doesn't get sprayed down with Lysol and hand sanitizer before coming within 3 yards of the baby.)

-While I spent the day making a 6 hour drive an 8 hour drive, Techy was sincerely mourning my departure. He spent the afternoon playing video games with his sister's husband. Good to know I am missed.

-If you are planning to go out of town after having been home with your dog every day for several weeks on end, you should not leave his bag of treats where he can reach them. He may spend the day drowning his sorrows by eating the entire bag. Pretty sure that we are going to find out just how sick "sick as a dog" really is.

All in all, we have learned that making sure that family has enough time with baby is very important, even when it isn't easy. Over the last week, we have gotten to spend a good bit of quality time with Techy's sister, who travelled across the country with her 18 month old little girl to meet our little guy. Last night, her husband flew in and we got to introduce our little guy to him this morning. And then we turned around and travelled to Virginia with Pappaw to introduce him to the rest of the family.

With all that excitement on top of feeding every 3 hours, I need a couple weeks to recover and sleep non-stop.

How much longer until I get to sleep through the night again?

Crying without the tears

As I stated previously, of late my life has been a storm of dirty diapers, midnight feedings, minimal naps, and tons and tons of visitors. All well meaning, all full of love, generosity, friendliness, concern and all greatly appreciated. But can I just say...it is so hard to be a new mommy with people constantly on your doorstep.

For those of you who are expecting in the next few months, no one warned me about the onslaught of visitors. Or maybe they did and I didn't understand. For the record, you need to know that after you deliver your precious little bundle of joy, everyone who has been a part of your pregnancy, all the people who care about you and love you will want to be there to love on your new little one. It's so tough. You will want these people to be there and to be involved. I, personally, miss my friends. I want to see them and I want to spend time with them. But lots of people don't understand the concept of timed feedings and schedules. If you are planning to schedule your baby, visitors are a factor to take into account. Let me reiterate - it isn't a bad thing, but it is something you will need to take into account when planning your day to day, hour to hour activities.

Obviously, I am breastfeeding, and that adds a whole different set of complications to the mess. Had I been bottle feeding, visitors would not have been such a complication. I mean, in that case, I could have thrown my baby and the bottle at the visitor and tell them when to burp the little guy. But if you are going to breastfeed or you have breastfed, you probably understand that unless you feel comfortable enough around your visitors to just whip out the "nip" in front of anyone, you will have to try to hide your engorged boob and nipple behind a blanket that is probably far too small to accomplish that task.

(For those of you who think you would not be phased by the sight of me breastfeeding, don't speak so soon. You don't understand the size of these things. All I am going to say is that hiding behind the blanket is as much for your benefit as mine.)

Anyway, the blanket situation only serves to make the Little Man so pissed off that before you know it he is flailing his arms like a bird trying to take flight and jerking his head around in what we have fondly termed "Poltergeist Head". (To help you visualize - the little head bobs in all directions face scrunches up and turns an odd shade of reddish purple, and the little mouth is wide open with the tongue clicking around searching for its intended nutritive source - all the while, Little Man screams profusely, frustrated by the lack of immediate satisfaction)

That being said, I cannot wait for life to calm down a little. I can't wait to have my boobs back to myself. I can't wait to be able to leave a room without checking the baby monitor a thousand times a minute. And I can't wait to see people again.

If you are reading this and have been or want to be a visitor to us, please know that this is not a complaint against your visit. I relish the opportunity to see you again and catch up on life, BUT be aware of my own personal terror at the possibility of you catching a glimpse of my enormous udders. I may not be able to look you in the eye again.

Now allow me some bragging ground.... For all the lack of personal space these days, this Little Man is totally worth it!

Living in the whirlwind

So the new life has begun.

And it's incredible. It completely revolves around the Little Man that I am holding right now. But I don't mind too much. A few things to note:

-I have been peed on more times in the last week than I care to admit.

-I thought bladder control was an issue before....

-I get excited by poop in general.

-Sleep in 1 1/2 hr increments is super fun.

-I thought I was emotional before....

-I have no modesty anymore. I find myself whipping out body parts with no thought or shame.

-I thought my chest was large when I was pregnant! I went from carrying a watermelon around in my belly to carrying 2 of them around on my chest.

And I know I said it before, but I am more in love than I ever imagined. And not just with the Little Man. I am more in love with his Daddy than I ever thought possible. I can't believe how lucky I am to have him. And although he would never use the terminology, he is just as in love with the little guy as I am--possibly more.

With life swirling around us these days, we are super exhausted just learning how to live. Between doctor's visits, family and friends stopping by and feedings, there is little time left to relax. We are merely surviving. But would we ever take it back?

What do you think?

Never.

A few of my favorite things...

Tiny fingers wrapped around mine.

Baby fine hair that stands on end.

Little eyes that cross when they try to focus on my face.

Big yawns.

Baby grunts and noises.

News flash!!! In case you didn't know or have been in a cave for the week, Little Man arrived late Monday afternoon. I have never been so relieved and so terrified in all my life! It's been a rough week for all of us, but he's here. And I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE him. He's absolutely beautiful.

I won't lie, though. I did not have that instant rush of love that so many mothers claim to have. As a matter of fact, after delivery, I didn't feel much of anything for a while. I was relieved and scared, but I didn't feel much of anything when they handed him to me. All I could think is, "Oh dear, something must be wrong with me." I knew he was mine, I knew that I carried him for months on end, but all I felt was relief. He was here, he was healthy. My job was done. (Oh was I wrong)

And then night happened. Doctors were gone. Nurses were at their stations. Techy was asleep in the bed next to mine. Mom had gone home to get her 20 winks. And there he was. Still awake, making the cutest little noises ever. He cried, he ate, he slept. And I...

I FELL IN LOVE.

Don't get me wrong. The past few days have been among the hardest days I have ever lived through. But he's really, really worth it. And if I can say that now, imagine how I will feel when the really good stuff starts.

I know every mother thinks their child is beautiful, but mine really is.

And if you don't believe me, try to argue with this....

Go ahead. Just try.

He's crying again. I have to go back to the hard work of being mommy, but I really don't mind at all. It's one of my new favorite things!

Ponderings

I love Christmas. It's always been such a magical and exciting time of year. Well, until I got married it was always a very exciting and magical time of year. But something happened when I got married. Not sure if it had to do with the extra family, the travelling, the lack of someone else being my Santa, but the last 3 Christmases - although being memorable and some of them very fun - have not been the same.

This Christmas has been nothing if not hectic and lacking tradition. To be honest, I think that's the clincher. My life has changed so much in the last 4 years that tradition, which is something we all seem to cling to this time of year, has flown right out the window for us. Realizing as I finished up my final gift wrapping last night, that these days will soon be gone made me hope for a future filled with tradition for our Little Man.

The one thing that keeps me hanging on to my sanity during this magical season?

The Nativity.

Never has the life of Mary and Joseph seemed so real. Never has her pain been more understandable. Never has the hope of a better future been more understandable.

Last night, I watched "The Nativity" (TNT made for tv special....) and as many years as I have heard the story, as many times as I have thought about it, never has it seemed so real. The Jewish people were waiting for their Messiah of promise to come. No one expected him to come in the way he did, and certainly no one would have expected him to arrive in the shadow of shame that Mary and Joseph carried with them. And yet, come he did in star studded simplicity with only a few shepherds as witnesses.... And shepherds were the recluses of the day, living their lives in solitude, except for their sheep. Who was going to listen to shepherds?

As I reflected on the heritage that we have been passed, I noted a few key points relative to the Providence of our great God.

-He provided a husband for a shamed Mary. A man of strong character who was willing to care for her and her unborn son in spite of the shame it would cause to himself.

-He provided a way of escape from the shame that the couple lived in. If you know anything of Bible times, you probably realize that the engagement time had not yet been completed. For Mary to become pregnant meant either she had been unfaithful to Joseph or she and Joseph had together defiled the law. Either way was shameful, and in a village the size of Nazareth, with a population of less than my own housing development, everyone would have known of their shame and would have likely looked down on them.

The call to have every man return to the city of his birth for the census, took them away from that shame during the most critical hour, and Herod's killing craze of all the baby boys in Bethlehem drove them to Egypt for several years. By the time they returned to the small village of Nazareth, the shame that had once been associated with the couple would have paled and life would have moved on.

-He provided strength to get the couple to Bethlehem. The journey was more than 80 miles from Nazareth to Bethlehem, and Mary was very near term. Whether she walked or rode a donkey is not known, but either way, the assumption can be made that the travel did nothing to help her condition. And yet, true to prophecy, the couple made it to the small village of Bethlehem just in time for her delivery.

-He provided solitude in a crowded little village of people. No, a stable would not have been the most desirable place, but considering the fact that Mary was probably a young teenage girl, and had already been living in shame for several months, I would say that giving birth in a crowded inn full of men, women, and children staring at you would not have been any more desirable.

I think what touches me most about the arrival of our Savior is the sheer beauty of God's hand. The fact that in accomplishing the largest task He has ever completed, he wove in immaculate detail, every provision needed into the lives of the people he used.

As I look to the very near future of my own son being born, I realize I have been blessed. Unlike Mary, I have never had to suffer shame for my condition. Unlike Mary, I will more than likely deliver in a clean comfortable environment with the luxuries of modern medicine. Unlike Mary, I will be surrounded by loving friends and family who are proud of our Little Man.

However, like Mary, I am faced with the knowledge that my child is God's to do with what He chooses. I have no idea what God may call my Little Man to do or what I, as his mother, will be faced with. I do know that our great Father who orders all things well, has a plan for this little baby, and that in His divine providence He will continue to show himself faithful to us, as he did to a young couple from Nazareth so many years ago.

Title Confusion

Dear World, I am sorry – very, very sorry.

I am very irritable.

I actually enjoy complaining about the things that are getting to me….

Like the fact that I can’t sit in a chair comfortably anymore. Like the fact that I feel like my arms and legs are giving out on me. Like the fact that the ONLY way to sit comfortably is to hunch my back and round my shoulders like a little old lady. Like the fact that my shoulders hurt…probably from hunching and rounding so much! But seriously, who heard that shoulder pain was a side effect of pregnancy? Come on now….

Things that I would normally laugh at are really getting on my nerves….

Like the fact that people continue to ask me if I am having twins. Really? You have the nerve to ask that?

Like the fact that people who know that I am only having one, think it is funny to ask me if the doctor has really checked to make sure it’s just one! Please…you deserve at least a verbal face slap…not that I ever dole it out, but you deserve it!

Like the fact that my sister keeps saying, “I am so glad it’s you and not me this time!”

And finally, today’s clincher-

Like the fact that no matter how many times I tell people what my baby’s name is going to be, they get it wrong. Ummm, seriously? We have been talking about him for MONTHS now.

You may ask what prompted this tirade…. Please, allow me!

This morning, one of my coworkers (many of which are already getting on my nerves by making polite/impolite comments about my size, my discomfort, as well as their opinions about my future plans) walked up to me and asked the most absurd question ever,

“Are you getting excited about Charlie coming?”

Um, what? Charlie, who? Coming where?

I just looked at her like she had 4 heads. Then it occurred to me. She meant my baby!

In case you don’t know, or haven’t asked, my baby’s name is Charles Connor, BUT we are calling him CONNOR, not CHARLIE! As many times as I have told that to everyone, E-V-E-R-Y-O-N-E, there should be no one who knows us without knowing that. Especially someone who came to my baby shower and signed my card with “Good luck with Baby Connor!”

Back to the story.

So I stared at her like she had 4 heads, until finally she said, “Little Charlie?”

More staring…at this point just because I was irritated that she didn’t have the decency to remember my child’s name when we talk about him daily.

But finally, I said, “Oh, you mean Connor!”

Her response?

“Oh, you are calling him Connor?”

A moment for the screaming in my head to stop….

“Yes. Connor….” And then some polite conversation about how I am excited for the baby. The most ridiculous, redundant conversation to have at this point.

I don’t think it would have bothered me so much, but she is really, really bad with names and it irritated me before I was pregnant.

For instance, one of our coworker’s son’s name is Kyen, pronounced Ky-in, but she refuses to pronounce it correctly – she always calls him Cayanne, pronounce Ki-yan, with the second syllable all drawn out, like the pepper. No matter how many times we have corrected her, she still calls him Cayanne…. Come on, just try a little harder, I know you can do it!

One of my girlfriend’s said she has repeatedly experienced the same thing. Her little boy’s name is Tristan…but no one ever calls him that. More often than not, he gets called Christian—I get that, and she does too (she isn't pregnantly irritated at EVERYTHING right now). Sounds very similar and Tristan is an uncommon name. But then she said that someone at work called him “Trisket”, i.e., the cracker?! Seriously, you think I would name my child after a flakey snack cracker?! So she has offered a new suggestion for all the pronunciation challenged people in her life and has started calling her little man, "T". So simple, so understandable, so adorable. I am sure there are still people who could mix that up and call him "P", but I would say the occurrences are not as often!

Which leads me to my next suggestion – if you don’t know what my child’s name is, don’t try to fake it. (I am much too irritable for that.) Use some kind of cute nickname – “Little Man” works just fine for me.

My bet is that even after this baby is here, and people at work talk about Connor, the offender won’t know who they are talking about and will still call my Little Man, “Charlie”. Maybe by then, I won’t be quite so irritable and will handle it better.