Beehives and boatnecks...

You know what I love?

I love the fact that I saw a couple pics from the filming of  "The Help"

And all I could think was, "Why on earth did I ever think my mother's beehive in her 6th grade pictures was so bad???"

Because this...

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This is BACK.

Thanks to people like Snooki.

And me.

And can I just say, with the exception of ugly, oversized floral patterns and gauchos, the clothing styles from the 60's were really very cutting edge.

I mean, seriously.

How adorable is this?

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Ahhhhhhhhhhhh, I love how fashion is such a revolving door.

Like a freaking circle of life, sans Simba. 

Also, I am pretty freaking bitter that blogger deleted my post from yesterday because, and I'll just say it, it was pretty hilarious, even for me. 

And I can't recreate my kind of wit.  It comes and goes faster than Charlie Sheen's popularity. 

Helpful How-To: Prepping for a Long Run

Several of you have been asking me about my race....

About the things that made it easier.

The things that made it fun.

And the things that made it survivable.

And I pretty much spelled it out for you in my post race recap, here.

But in case that wasn't "clear as mud", I have decided to put it into an HHT to break the details down for those of you who are running long races in the next few weeks/months.

Because I know, there are alot of you.

And although I don't know it all, I know what helped me.

So here goes....

1.  Carb loading.

Remember what you eat the night before can and will affect your race.  Be wise with your decisions.  Don't pull a Michael Scott, K? 

We had whole wheat pasta with veggies and pizza.  Keep in mind that you need carbs, but fiber will keep things moving.  Confused?  I'll explain it at 3.

2.  Eat breakfast.  

The hardest part of eating breakfast is knowing when and what to eat pre-race. 

I wanted a combination of complex carbs and protein, but I was staying in a cheap motel on the Jersey Shore that had a limited breakfast bar. 

My breakfast of choice?  A banana, cup of yogurt and half a cup of OJ.  Then, right before the race, I had 2 bites of Justin's power bar.  Don't ask me why.  He had it, was trying to get rid of it and I was nervous.

Another thing to think about eating before a big race, you don't wanna eat right before you run.  The food needs to be in there, but settled. 

So eat at least a good hour or 2 before your race starts.

3. Go #2.

And yes, I mean - POOP. 

I know, I know.  For my regular readers, seeing the 4 letter word out there is just gross. 

But for those of you who run, you get it. 

Poop is a big aspect of running.  If you don't do it pre-run you will hate yourself halfway through. 

There is nothing worse than getting 3 miles into a run and realizing you have something weighing you down.

So please, for your own sake, go stand in line at the port-a-potties...do a couple jumping jacks if necessary...and then do your business.

You will be so glad you did.

4.  Hydrate, hydrate, hydrate.

Personally, I think it's just smarter to carry a water bottle loaded with Gatorade through your race.

And to take a little something at every water station.

Especially as it gets hotter. 

(Last night, I went on a 5.5 mile run and ended up with a cramp at mile 4....)

I opted for a rotation of water, gatorade, water, gatorade.

No, I didn't get both at every station.  But water at the first, then gatorade at the next, and so on.

I know I probably don't need to explain this to you runners, but in case there are some newbies out there...the gatorade will help you retain your fluids a little better than water.

And in this case, you actually do want to retain as much as possible to keep your muscles happy.

5.  Mental Preparation.

I know this sounds ridiculous. 

But I would say 90% of running a long race is mental.

I set mental goals for myself.

I knew the goal time I wanted. 

I knew I wanted to run the entire time.

And I knew that I could do anything for 2 hours. 

I mean, I was in labor for longer than that.

Even if you are opting for something longer.  Like a full marathon or a 25k, it's still less time than you spend at work everyday.

Set a comfortable pace and keep your mind in it every step.

6.  Energy Maintenance

Do you use gels?

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Practically everyone there was using them, but I was too cheap and lazy to try to find them.

Let's face it, I am cheap and lazy when I want to be.

So I opted for something I could grab in the check out line at Walmart - Starburst.

And I counted out one for each mile.

Yes, they are annoying to unwrap.  But hey, I'm lazy and cheap...it's the price I pay.

And they worked just fine.

I didn't leave the race feeling like I wanted to pass out for the next 6 days.

And I was still able to walk.

Albeit, my steps were no longer fluid...I did move a little like this guy...

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But my legs weren't floppy like jello and never once did I get "the shakes".

So Starburst = success!!!

7. Pacing.

If you don't guage your pace, you will probably hate yourself 2 miles into the race, after the initial rush of adrenalin has worn off and you have been running a 7 minute mile with the old people who you should definitely be able to run faster than.

Um.  You should probably face the fact that you can't.  And slow down.

For me, I was willing to fork over the extra $4.99 to pay for Elite Runkeeper status for a the month.  If you have a smart phone, this would be my best suggestion for you.

Elite status will allow others to track your status and pace online.  As well as give you the extra insurance you need that the program will work for you on race day. 

Otherwise, here are some other options that you can use...

I have been coveting this Garmin watch since my first 5k.

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But at $128, it's just too rich for my newly running blood.

I just can't justify it.  YET.

So I settled for this...

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My Tech4O is a nice substitute. 

And I got mine for $38 on Amazon.com. 

So yeah.

But you will need to recalibrate it to your race pace if you are planning on using it on race day.

8.  Stretch AND Twist

Stretching is one thing.

And we all do it.

But watching my new friend Ashley prep for our race I learned some things.

She didn't just stretch.

She rolled her ankles around and around to loosen them up.

She bent her knees and rocked forward on her feet then back on her heels, while straightening her legs, to loosen up her knees. (If you have never done this, oh my!  what a difference!!!!)

She twisted side to side.

She rolled her shoulders.

And as soon as she turned her back, I started trying it too.

What?  I couldn't let her see me copying her!

But by the time the race started, other than my nervous tension, my body was loose as a goose.

And to be honest, I think that's the last tip I have for you.

That's all that you can really prep with.

I could spout on about your headphones/headset.

I could prattle about Pandora.

And Lady Gaga.

I could tell you to get caught up in the excitement of the race and let your feet keep moving.

I could tell you any number of things, but I think that the best thing to close this post with is this.

The most important thing I can say to you come race day is to

       RUN   YOUR   OWN   RACE.

And enjoy every mile.



Butcher Block Fantasies

Greetings from the corners of a sleep-deprived mind.

Have I ever mentioned how much I despise the decor of my kitchen?

And how cheap I am that I can't afford to do anything about it?

And possibly my goal to pay off my house before Little Man goes to college?

So that I can spend summers at my beach house in Aruba?

No.

But.

Seriously.

I loathe my kitchen counter tops.

What?!

The other stuff is just the stuff of my fantasies.

Like Ben & Jerry's that don't affect the size of your keister.

And pizza parties that don't leave you with post-gorging, acne-spotted regret.

But the real point of this post is my kitchen counters.

And my loathe of them.

Remember this post? 

Yes....

My shamefully dark and disgusting kitchen...

Yes, that is a half-eaten cup of baby food sitting on my sink, why do you ask?

Also, can we talk about the fact that I DESPISE using up counter space with a microwave?  What I'd give to be able to mount it somewhere...but where?!

But oh, those countertops....

Don't we all agree that they would look better like this???

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This one makes me breath easier.

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And this one makes me miss my pretty green kitchen at the old house.

And this one...

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This one makes me envy and covet and possibly even lust a little bit.

Now, if only I could convince Techy....

The Buzz

This weekend, we made a jump.

A big jump.

It was one of those wonderful-awful ideas that come out of nowhere and end up leave you wondering if you have lost your mind or if you could ever be happier.

It started on Saturday night at a birthday party.

The idea started forming somewhere between when Little Man pulled a cup of mountain dew onto his head and Little Man eating ice cream cake.

He looked a little something like this....

Yes, I am wearing Mickey Mouse ears.

And I look awesome. 

Be jealous.

But my kid?

Not so awesome.

Or really awesome, if you are into wearing chains as a belt and cutting yourself.

Whatever.

All I know is that summer equals as much mountain dew and ice cream as possible and I can't have this happening everytime we come within 150 feet of either.

Then someone said a sentence that included the word "clippers".

My head popped up like Gizmo's does when I talk about pizza.

Or like Ramona's (Housewives of NYC) when someone mentions Pinot Grigio.

Or like Donald Trump's does when someone mentions Obama's birth certificate.

Anyway, you get it.

I perked up.

And before you know it, I had talked someone into giving it a shot.

WeThey attempted to warm Little Man up to the idea.

(I couldn't watch - my friend, Carrie had warned me that this was potentially heartbreaking - the transformation that my child would undergo in the next 20 minutes could easily send me into a Rip van Winkle talespin with my eyes blinking in wonder while pondering where the time had gone and why my baby decided to go off to college so soon....)

 
Notice the "that better not be anything like that thing they poke me with at the doctor's office" look.

Then...

The first swipe...

This was the point where my face must have turned green because everyone started saying things like, "What a nice, round head he has..." and "Look at those eyelashes!  I thought they were long before, but now..."  and my personal fave: "Oh, wow, he looks so much more like mommy" (complete falacy...more on that later)

Seriously, people, WHAT are you doing to me?!?!

I want to take a moment to brag about the fact that there are still NO TEARS...

I attribute that fact to the magical powers of a plastic replication of a Lightning McQueen car as seen above.

Apparently, the love affair starts early with boys....

And oh, what's this?!?!

A SMILE?!?!

And finally....

Mommy's first look....

I should probably take a second to brag about the fact that there are still no tears....

On either part.

And actually, we got a "cheese!" from this guy...*****

And yes...

I know...

The eyelashes are incredible.

And totally not from me.

But cute, right?

And because I can't resist a before and after....

How fun is that?

Special thanks to Miss Amy for making this happen!

****This picture is eerily similar to a picture of Techy as a baby.  Just saying...those comments about him looking more like me?  Nowhere close.

Weekly Weigh In # 25

So.

I have good news and I have bad news.

Which do you want first?

Eh, I like to get bad news out of the way off the bat, so we'll go with that.

Because I pretty much do what I want here on the old bloggity blog.

So.

Bad news.

I didn't take a picture of the scale this morning.

Primarily because I was holding out to weigh in tomorrow and have another lb. off.

But then I realized that would defeat the purpose of my weigh-in's being on Friday.

But you can trust me when I say that I weighed in today.

And that I will give you honest results....

Now for the good news....

I lost weight this week.

I know, right?

I BETTER have lost weight this week...I mean, I ran THIRTEEN MILES this week.

Did I mention that I am really proud of myself for that?

Did I also mention that I totally credit God with opening that door for me?

So yeah, pretty exciting stuff.

But back to the weight loss.

After last week's chub flub...

I am down...

DRUMROLL

.4 lbs.

That's right people.  A whopping 6.4 ounces.

In case you are too lazy to do the math, (which I totally would be if it weren't my blog) that puts me at 138.4.

Meaning I am still higher than my goal weight by about 1.4 lbs.

And higher than my lowest weight to date by about 2.2 lbs.

So yeah. 

Please don't tempt me with chocolate or cookie dough.

I am weak.

And vulnerable.

And I really wanna get back to 136.whatever.

See ya!

My Honest Opinion: Cinco de Mayo Version

Hola!

Donde esta el bano?!

El mosquito en un insecto offensivo.

Ok, I just exhausted my extensive Spanish vocabulary.

Which is sad because my niece who has dedicated her life to the teachings of Dora, can TOAST me in Spanish vocabulary association.

And she's like 2.

It's sad.

I am a constant disappointment to Techy, who thrives on knowing as many words and phrases in foreign languages as possible.

Primarily the questionable ones.

No seriously.

Last week, he told me he liked my butt in Chinese.

And I only know that because he used his new translation app on his new Droid to tell me.*

And then laughed until he cried.

Rolling around on the floor and clutching his stomach.

Um. Yeah.

Husbands don't really ever grow up.

And apparently the first thing they want to know how to say in any language is "boobie" or "butt" or any four letter word possible...

Which I find a little strange considering that the only conversational sentence I know in any other language regards my urgency to find a toilet.

But in his mind (where the world is his toilet) why waste your time on looking for el bano when you could be talking about boobies?

So yeah.

Back to Cinco de Mayo.

And my love of all things Mexican.

For the record, I have been so obsessed with the arrival of Cinco de Mayo, that I completely overlooked Mother's Day.

Not that I don't have a gift for my mother.  (After my over-indulgence in the Royal Wedding affairs last week, I have an urge to call her "Mum".  Is something wrong with me?  I think that this is completely reasonable, all things considered.)

I do have a gift for her.

I just forgot to mail it.

Because of Cinco de Mayo.

But dear heavens....

Isn't it understandable?!

I mean, the food is intoxicating....

Tell me you saw PW's post today....  It has had me salivating since dawn!

So.

In honor of the occasion...

The things I love most about Cinco de Mayo....

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Any excuse to launch my aggression toward a cardboard animal.  TOP OF THE LIST, PEOPLE! 

Either I have too much aggression, or I have a sickness.

Both are debateable at this point in time.

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Pretty dresses.  Man, I wish I had worn one of these to work today!

No. Seriously.

I could have twirled around in circles sing-songing "¡Andale! ¡Andale! ¡Arriba! ¡Arriba! ¡Yii-hah!"

This of course, leads me to another favorite...

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Speedy Gonzales...

This dude had Dora beat all to pieces.  Despite the fact that the only thing I learned from him was that running fast was cool....  He has made a real impact on my life.  As seen here.

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Enchiladas of any kind, but these from Centsational Girl are amazing!!!!

As in they might make you cry from how amazing they are.

And not from how spicy they are...which is a definite improvement in Mexican food, right?

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Any excuse to go to Taco Bell.  YUMMMMMMMMM.

My girlfriend keeps trying to talk me into Chipotle, but I can't imagine anything that they have could compete with anything as amazing as a soft taco for less than $1.

Seriously.

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Is it wrong that I will always associate chips and salsa with Ceej?

And is it wrong that I am a total salsa snob?

As in the Wal-mart brand, just isn't kicking it for me any more.

And neither is anything else on their shelves.

I like Chili's salsa (this should never, under any circumstances be confused with Chi-Chi's salsa...ever.  Ewwww) or any local Mexican restaurant's and that's about it.

I may as well just nickname myself as "Salsa Snob".

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After last week's mini-obsession with the Royal Wedding, my affinity for hats has increased like 1 million percent.


Oh, a hat that has shiny sequins and threads on it???  PLUS it will keep the sun out of my eyes?!? 

Beat that, Princess Beatrice!

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So yes...

Just a few of my favorite things about one of my favoritest days ever....

Now, please excuse me while I desperately search for a way to send to my mom her gift in time!

*I can already see that this is going to get old fast.

Helpful How-To: Making a Blog User Friendly

Let's face it.

I am a novice when it comes to blogging.

And web design?!  Fa-getaboutit....

As evidenced by my clearly high-tech blogger template with as few buttons and widgets as possible.

But there are a few things that I am relatively opinionated about when it comes to blogging. 

And I am here to disperse them to you.

It came up in a Facebook convo several months ago.

And I have been stewing on it since.

I started thinking...there are things that annoy me about blogs...

Things that I wasn't aware of until I started blogging, reading, commenting, etc. 

And then I learned.

Quickly.

For those of you who aren't bloggers or don't care...I apologize in advance for this post.

It's gonna bore you.

What can I say...it's been an off kind of week.

And I realize that this information may be different based upon what browser you are using...so take that into consideration as well.

In my opinion, blogging is primarily for 2 things - entertainment and business.

If you have a creative business, it is in your best interest to blog about it.

Photography?  Blog.

Decorate?  Blog.

Craft?  Blog.

Home business?  Please don't blog.  That's what Facebook and Twitter are for.

Talk about randomness?  Blogging is appropriate.

Draw funny pictures and have quirky things for them to say?  Obviously, blog.

Coupon like a superhuman?  BLOG PLEASE.

Take adorable pictures of your children and post them for your grammy in Tulsa?  Blog it up!

Cook like Pioneer Woman in the Top Chef kitchen?  Do I really need to say it?  BLOG!

From a business standpoint, blogging is primarily for exposure.  And it's awesome exposure.

But even if your blog is for recreation, there are some things you should really be thinking about.

Like comments. 

Do you want people to comment on your blog?

I do! 

But have you ever tried to comment on your blog?

Because there are alot, aaaaaaaaaaaa lot of blogs out there who have the most ridiculous commenting settings known to man.

i.e., One of my favorite blogs makes me "log in" every time I want to comment, and then in turn, I end up logging myself out of Gmail.

Pain.in.the.butt.

So...

I blog about it.

And encourage you to make commenting on your blog awesomesauce.

Or actually, to let someone else tell you how to make your blog awesomesauce.

Because if someone else has created genius, why would I recreate it?!

Which, clearly is the case. 

Because Sarah, at Thrifty Decor Chick did an excellent job of explaining it here.  

And for all those entreprenurial minds (i.e., Techy)...

Rather than reinventing the wheel, if you are interested in running ads on your blog or making any money from your blog, Sarah has also given a great plan for how to do that as well.  

Hopefully, you learn as much from these as I did.

For those of you who don't have blogs...I apologize for the boring material.

Come back tomorrow for more of my randomness, k?

I promise it will have you sitting on the edge of your seat.

Wow...that's alot to live up to.  Hope I can make that happen....