Making Up Is Hard to Do

Allow me a moment to whine.

Sometimes life gets busy.

Sometimes life gets hard.

Sometimes life gets lonely.

And dark.

And the last few weeks have been that for me.

I don't know why.

I don't know how.

I just know I'm in a dark place.

A lonely place.

A place of isolation and despair and...selfishness.

I said it.

I'm feeling very sorry for myself right now.

Very...ALONE.

But for me, blogging has always been extremely therapeutic.

So, ya know, that's where I'm at.

I might need a cat.

I may need a HOUSE FULL OF CATS.*

I definitely need a Jesus moment.

So, now, I pray.

And I blog.

Of course, I've dropped off the blogging map.

So, I have, like 2 people to be accountable to.

But if you 2 could try to keep me typing, that would really be great.

And pardon my lack of humor during this time.


*dear heavens, I just completely justified cat ladies.  If that's not a cry for help, I don't know what is!

Blip vs. Bullhorn

Today is supposed to be Helpful-How-To's.

And I had one planned.

But like I said on Monday...

I tend to blog about things that I am obsessed with concerned about.

And today, the only thing on my mind is my mom.

Because yesterday, I almost lost her.

Yesterday, around 3:30, while I was feeding Baby Girl, my phone rang.

It was daddy.

And usually, I would panic.

He never calls me.

But yesterday, I just thought, Yes, Dad, I'm going to join the NRA as soon as possible...

And then I said, "Hello?"

"Leah?!  Hey!  Your momma's been in a really bad accident.  She's ok...at least I think she's ok.  She's talking and stuff, but they wouldn't let her walk and she's on the way to the hospital, she ran off the road and a fence post came through the windshield right next to her head, went clean through the car and busted out the back window...LEAH??  ARE YOU THERE???"

I was too busy dry heaving to respond, Daddy...sorry about that....

"Yeah, Dad, I'm here.  She's ok?"

"I think so, I mean, she's on her way to the hospital now and they are going to do tests to make sure....  You ok?"

"Yeah, Dad.  You ok?"

"Yeah.  I'm fine.  You should see the car....  I don't know how....  I'll call you when I get to the hospital, ok?"

And then I got this in a text:

Um...

HOLYCRAPBATMAN.

First of all, how is my mom's head still attached?

I got that picture and I fell apart.

You know, AFTER I knew she was alive, I fell apart.

The thing is, I tried to call my mom 4 times yesterday morning.

And I gave up after the 4th try.

And for all I knew she could have still had some serious injuries.

And I had no way of reaching her.

And I had given up when I had the chance.

I literally shook all over, broke into a sweat and burst into tears.

I scared Baby Girl half to death with all the weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth.

And I didn't get to talk to my mom until 9 pm last night.

I'm still a bit...off...about all of it.

I took alot for granted yesterday.

And got a helpful reminder that I shouldn't do that.

Sometimes these things can tend to be just a blip on the radar of life....

But I'm going to try to take it as more of a blaring bullhorn of a wakeup call.

And thank Jesus that she still has a head, she still can talk to me, and that I can still race home to get a giant hug from her as soon as I can catch the first flight.

She's the best mom I've ever had, and I'm not quite ready to let go of that....

Now, go give your mom (or any mother roles in your life) a giant hug and kiss.

And cherish every moment - you just never know what tomorrow may bring....

Among Other Things

One week into my New Year's Resolution and BAM!

My world has been ROCKED from the ground up.

After 2 years of trying to ignore the entire world's ravings about Downton Abbey, my sister fell under the spell.

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Now, I can avoid the tug of the British period drama for only so long.

But the moment my sister fell under the spell and began whispering sweet nothings of Downton Abbey amazingness in my ear, I was done.  

The universe really knows how to get me.

My sister is truly my Achilles heel.  

I cave to her.

EVERY.SINGLE.TIME.

I wish I could say that I'm not allowing it to interfere with my life.

But if you have seen Downton Abbey, I venture to say that you recognize the fallacy in a statement like that.

And if you have been reading my blog for any time at all, you probably also know that I tend to blog about the things that I am absorbed in....

Books, running, shopping, Real Housewives....  

I should be more sorry for that.

But in the case of good television, one should never hold back!

There seems to be so little of it these days.  

So perhaps, I won't apologize.

After all, if I held back more, you would miss the opportunity to hear the inner workings of my mind....

And isn't that what this is all about anyway?

That's what I thought.

Now.

Back to Downton Abbey.

PEOPLE.

I.am.in.love.

And a little more than attached to these new friends.  

I know you will find it surprising to learn that I am extremely opinionated on EVERYTHING that happens on this show.

Shocking, right?

This coming from the girl who screams next moves at every Bachelor like football fans scream at their favorite players on Sunday afternoon.

By the by...

I have become so absorbed that I have put even Uncle Si and Leslie Knope on the backburner until I get caught up with the rest of you.  

Consider this a warning.  

It is highly likely that there will be many Maggie Smith references in the future.

You can thank me later!!!

I know you will...

Blog Updates - Twenty Thirteen Version

Don't act all surprised. 

It's been over a year since I have ACTIVELY blogged.

This blog is long overdue for some updates.

And it should probably be more than just the header font.

Although, really, isn't it pretty???

It's not as impressive as anything going on on Pioneer Woman, but I also don't have my own TV show or book deal, so we're working with what we have here.

You'll love me anyway, right?

Please?

I need love.

ALOT OF IT.

In the words of Vicki from Real Housewives of OC, "My love tank needs to be full!"

So.much.eye.rolling. 

I can feel it from here.

It's ok. 

I rolled my eyes a little too.

And lost a contact in the process, but back to the blog....

Having considered every angle of reviving this blog into something worthwhile, I have also had to think about what I have to talk about.

These days, it's diaper rash and preschool's and the best laundry techniques.  

How Donna Reed of me, huh?

You just googled Donna Reed, didn't you?

I'm so old school sometimes.

Confession: Turner Classic Movies got me through alot of boring summers in high school.  19 year old Leah's favorite actress of all time was Maureen O'Hara.  

Things you never knew you didn't want to know about me....

I seem to be rabbit trailing alot today...  

So...

The updates I plan to bring this year.

I was thinking...

I want to schedule topics again.

Does that work for you?

Or is that not enough "on-the-fly" for you.

Because sometimes "on-the-fly" Leah can be a little scary.

And talk about things like gun control.

I figure that in order to help prevent that from  happening, I would TRY to schedule more regular posts.

Mondays can be devoted to "on-the-fly" moments. For all those brave readers out there.

Be excited.

Tuesdays.  (Today doesn't count, mkay???)  I'm reading more frequently these days, and we all know how I love to spread the word on good fiction! Right????  So I thought I could use Tuesdays as book review days.  But if I don't have any good reads to recommend, you can count on a random-Leah-rant.  I know how much you love those....

Ahem.  

Or how much I love those...same difference....  

Wednesdays will be bringing back Helpful-How-To's for the compulsive know-it-all buried just beneath the surface of my skin.  She's extremely obnoxious and needs an outlet for her all-knowing wisdom.  You can thank me later.  Like when you're at a party and I'm not telling you how to do something even better than you did it.  I'm know.  It's obnoxious.  I'm sorry.  LOVE ME! (see above)

Thursdays won't change, either.  My Honest Opinions will be back, because if there is one thing this momma needs (other than love...and an outlet for knowing everything...I may be a little needy...that's totally cool, right?), it's the opportunity to be completely opinionated about something.  Hopefully, I can avoid politics and religion and any other taboo topics that could possibly send you running, but I'm not making any promises!!!

Friday will become Fitness Fridays.  This will include all my previous weight-loss posts and all the updates I hope to provide you on how I am accomplishing my New Year's Resolutions.  

Saturdays will probably remain silent, but I plan to revive the short-lived Sunday Sermon Series this year.  Because, wow.   If there is one thing about the 2012 that was awesome, it was how God came alive in my life more than ever.  And I want to share that with all of you!  

How's that for a 2013 Blogging Game Plan???

Are you as excited as I am???

(Say yes!  Say yes!)

And as always, if you have any suggestions for improving things over here, feel free to let me know!  

Welcome Back, JACK!

Let's just pretend like the last year never happened.

You know, the one where I blogged less than most people floss.

But I'm back now....

I know, I know, I've said that before....

What an amazing year 2012 was.

OR NOT.

I'm pretty sure I'm not the only one saying that they are happy to have 2012 behind them.

Although, I can say, 2012 did bring me a new hero.

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Sooooooo.

Yeah, JACK!

I will give you credit for that one, 2012.  Nice work.

Now, on to 2013!

HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!!

How did you celebrate?

We were in Maryland/Delaware for the long weekend with the in-laws.

Have I ever mentioned what an amazing cook my mother-in-law is??

Our New Year's Eve celebration included our own take on surf n turf - deer steak and my mother-in-law's famous crab cakes.

Just typing the words made my stomach growl.

And cry.

I have to say, I might give away one of my arms for a good crab cake.

But after dinner, we, of course, we watched Dick Clark's New Year's Rocking Eve....

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Because we are lame.

And, oh, yeah, we have TWO KIDS.

Did it annoy anyone else that they abbreviated it all night?

I mean, really, you don't even want to know how long it took me to figure out what NYRE stood for.

And can we all talk about poor Ryan Seacrest?

Is he sweating that one out or what?

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You know he's all, So still?  We're still keeping HIS name on this???

Poor Ryan....

But all in all, I guess it was an okay way to spend New Year's Eve.

And we didn't have to pay the dinner bill or drive home, and we were warm the entire time!

#WINNING

(SIDENOTE:  Do you hashtag?  I love hashtagging.  I hashtag everything.  Texts, thoughts, conversations with Techy, etc.  Why hasn't hashtagging been around forever?)

And since no New Year/Welcome Back to Blogging post would be complete without it....

And since I know that all of you who aren't following me on every form of social media* out there have been patiently waiting to know, I did make some New Year's Resolutions.

Things that didn't make the list that should have:

1. Blog more, OBVIOUSLY.

2.  Watch more Duck Dynasty, pattern your life after Si, Finish every sentence with the word, "JACK!"**

But you get the general idea, Most of my goals are the same as everyone else's in America.

I'm not that creative.

But what I lack in creativity, I make up for in follow-through.

Don't believe me?

Well, let's just wait and see where 2013 takes us, shall we?

Hop on boys and girls, this may get bumpy!


* Why aren't you following me?  Is it because I don't have "buttons"?  Cause I can learn to make "buttons" if you really want to follow me.  No pressure or anything.  Here's my number, so call me maybe.  Oh, yeah, 2012, good call on that one, too....

**If you aren't on the Duck Dynasty band wagon yet, I'm sorry for you.  If you've been wondering what all the hype is about, this guy explains it far more eloquently than I can.

I Just Don't Get It

Tell me.

Have you seen this life changing video?



If not, I can give you a minute.

Or 3:36, if you're the technical type.

Go ahead.

Watch it.

Did you?

Ready to talk?

You're rewatching it, aren't you?

Fine.

Go ahead.

I won't tell anyone.

But before you watch it for a 3rd time, let me remind you that you just lost 7 minutes of your life.

Now ready to talk?

Because I am.

Or maybe I'm just ready to say....

"What the?????"

Or just...

"Ummmmmmmmmmmmmm."

And how 'bout,

"Taylor, are those monkeys on your pajama's???"

Or maybe,

"What's with the fairy tale rave you have going on in your sweater-clad apartment?"

And even,

"I thought you were better than that, Taylor."

But most especially,

And most importantly,

"I'm pretty sure he's happy about it, after seeing this video."

(Personally, I think this video is way cooler:)

The Inner Monologue of a Bladder Abused Mommy

I really need to drink my water today.

I think I'll stop and grab one of those Goliath sized McDonalds cups.

Maybe I shouldn't.

Nah, I'll be fine.

I'll be home in plenty of time.

*SLURP*

**SLUUUUUUURP**

Chug, chug, chug, chug.

Little Man: Mommy, I gotta go potty.

Hmmm, me too.

It's ok, just a few more errands.

I can make it.

Hmmmmmmmm

Oooooooooooooooo.

Uh.oh.

Wiggle wiggle wiggle. No.

My bladder is really to weak for this.

Do I have any diapers with me?

Why am I soooooooo far away from home?

If I were wearing a diaper would I actually be willing to go in it?

What is wrong with me?!

Oh, right, 2 babies....

Speaking of babies, did I bring any diapers?

How desperate would you have to be to pee in a diaper?

Ugggggh.

Bounce.

Bounce.

Bounce.

Why did I think it was a good idea to run errands today?

I would stop somewhere, but I'd probably never make it with trying to get my kids out of the car...

Stupid McDonalds.

I'm too young to buy poise pads right?

Waaaaah.

How far are we from home?

2 miles?

Can I make it 2 miles?

This is just sad.

I should know better than this.

I'm so thirsty.

...

Finally. Home.

Why is my driveway so bumpy?

Soooooooo close...

Run!

-People. This happens far too often for my comfort.

From 30,000 Feet

I'm currently sitting on a plane.

Flying home from Texas.

Funny, we weren't planning to go to Texas.

We were planning to go to Delaware.

But then our flight got canceled and with 2 hours to spare, we decided on Friday that we would go visit Techy's sister.

In Texas.

W fly by the seat of our pants.

Most literally.

What a weekend!

Pretty sure I gained 10 lbs with all the eating.

And lounging.

But now, here I sit, with a poorly behaving 2 year old next to me, a tired and cranky Techy next to him and a very curious (read: nosy) baby girl on my lap.

We've been up since 3:30.

A.M.

We drove an hour and a half to the air port, with about 30 minutes till take off.

Then we stood in the security line for 30 minutes, until a random airport employee came and pulled us out of line and ran us to our flight.

I was literally the.last.person.on.the.plane.

And now, I'm sitting in front of crude cat lady listening to her recount tales of her crazy cats sprinkling in as many expletives as possible.

People.

It was soooooooo worth it.

Business and a Bum Foot

Sorry it's been so long.

Not that any of you noticed.

Things here have been a little (read: ALOT) crazy.

I've been doing things like painting.

And laundry.

And unpacking from vacation.

(Yes, it does take a good week and a half when you have 2 little ones. AT LEAST)

But I thought I would explain (read: whine) why there wasn't even a weigh in post for the last two weeks.

Two weeks ago I was on vacation with no scale.

And last week, despite my best efforts, I only lost .2 lbs.

Like Woah.

Forreal.

I cried, I'll admit it.

As of Saturday, I've been at this for 7 weeks (not including vacation week) and I've lost 8.2 lbs.

Depressing much?

Wait. It gets worse.

Apparently, last week in my efforts to PUSH myself, I hurt my foot.

And the pain is indicative of a minor stress fracture.

Which might not be a big deal, if I didn't have such a difficult time losing weight.

And if my primary forms of exercise didn't put a ton of pressure on my feet.

So now we improvise.

I started pilates on Monday.

But that burns all of 150 calories per hour.

I'm pretty sure that sneezing burns more calories than pilates....

So I borrowed a bike to try to get in some extra cardio.

And for the last two days, I've been painting.

Which is seriously way more of a workout than I remember.

All that to say, it's been a rough couple of weeks.

And in case you are interested in seeing the beginnings if baby girl's nursery...

Groupie

Not sure if I mentioned it, but we made a quick trip home this weekend.

Home, as in Delaware home.

Not to be confused with Virginia home or Georgia home.

And surprisingly enough, considering what a quick trip this was, we got to see a heck of alot of people.

One of which is my most loyal blog reader.

Bless her heart.

All the boring blogging I'm doing these days and she still reads.

So here's a shout out to my groupie.

You are my hero in more ways than you know!

Thanks for sticking by me when everyone else forgets!

Enough

I don't know if you have picked up on it or not, but I am experiencing a strange phenomena called...ready for it???

LONELINESS.

Some would say it's my own fault, some would say it's merely a matter of circumstances.

But I would say it's the season that God has for me right now.

I have experienced it before....

A long, long time ago.

When I was a newlywed.

With a husband who was being put through the ringer for a job he hated.

I had just moved to Delaware, and my only friend was a Junior in her nursing program and worked full time to pay her tuition.

This time, I have just moved to Georgia.

This time, I just had a baby.

This time, I am potty training a 2 year old.

And this time, I am a stay at home mommy to two amazing, albeit, exhausting babies, which I love.

However, the words themselves imply loneliness - STAY AT HOME mommy.

To add to it, my amazing hubby works VERY hard to make this possible, but the working very hard means he leaves early and gets home late.

(Here's where I say, I have no idea how military wives DO it. Tell me, girls, is xanax your friend? Because it would totally be my BFF)

I have learned a few things about how God works in these seasons....

The first time I experienced this, I felt sorry for myself for a really long time.

And then one day I was driving down the road when this song came on the radio:



If you know me at all, you know that I cried like a baby.

If you know me at all, you know that listening to that song while posting the video just now, tore me up.

If there is one thing I have learned about these lonely seasons of life, it's that God uses them, every.single.time.

He is there.

He is enough.

And he has, at his fingertips, the power to bring us through the lonely days.

And remind us that Enough, is more than enough.

I Wore Black

Allow me to paint a picture...

In said picture, I've been up since 5:30 am and it's raining so my naturally curly hair is especially Dolly Parton-ish.

Baby girl is on my lap in a pretty little blue dress and wearing a ginormous blue bow on her head.  The kind of bow that Madonna was always looking for when styling her videos in the 80's.

Big. And bold.

Next to me sits Techy.

Who stayed up too late last night because police chase video shows are clearly as addictive as Lay's potato chips.

On his lap is a very hyper Little Man.

Apparently, the rain affects him the same way that eating after midnight affects gremlins.

Full on craziness ensues.

And we're in church.

Early.

Waiting for baby dedication Sunday to start.

All of us parents/babies are ushered into a special holding room prior to the big event.

Initially, it's just us and one other couple.

Then, the babies start pouring in.

Err, I should say families...Families start pouring in. 

Apparently at this church there is a no child left behind policy when it comes to baby dedication.

Sure Little Man is with us now, but there is absolutely no way we are taking that child on stage with us to shout, "I go pee pee in da potty, mommy" to the whole church!

He's only here until the nursery worker for his room shows.

Anyway, back to the families...

While families start rolling through the door, I begin to notice a distinct pattern.

They are all in white.

As in christening dress white.

Which would have been a nice idea, I guess, since this is as close as we Baptists get to a christening....

But for some reason it never occurred to me.

And as if that isn't bad enough, many families color coordinated.

As in siblings were also in white.

And, yes, even a couple moms.

The moment of realization was like a cold slap in the face.

In a few moments, we're going on stage in front of 1,000 people and my baby is one of the only ones not in white.

And Techy and I are both dressed in black.

Don't it just figure?

Happy...

Sinko de Mayo!

Today is a Very Big, Big, BIG Day

For those of you who have been reading my blog for a while, you'll understand.

For those of you who haven't, (or may have forgotten about every single one of my innermost hearts desires-shame on you-I thought we were friends! wink!) you can catch up here.

But any hoo, with a little searching and a little drilling and screwing (that's what she said) all our at least one of my dreams have come true.

I officially have an under the counter mounted paper towel holder that doesn't look like I could break it with my bare hands.

Color me happy!

The Epic Tale of Potty Training

Being a stay at home mom has really brought me to my knees.

Please know, I am not complaining, but I would seriously consider paying for day care again, if only to con someone else into the job of potty training this kid.

I know what you are thinking..."Leah, are you crazy?"

And today, I just may be.

In my defense, I have cleaned toddler poop AND dog poop out of the floor today.

I literally watched the child who has been practically accident free for days, stand in the middle of the room and pee, while starting at me to see my reaction.

And he followed that by pooping in the floor while I walked away long enough to get him some clean under pants.

Then my dog pooed on my new rug.

And Baby girl ruined a brand new outfit when she pooed up her back.

All that to say, anyone wanna take over the messy business at this house?

You will be highly compensated...if you consider Butterfingers and Twix bars as compensation...

The Straw that Broke the Camel Back

In case you aren't up on your Leah news, we are potty training.

Because moving into a new house with a newborn wasn't enough stress in my life.

Also? I started my diet this week.

Because there is no better time to diet than when you have lots of extra candy in the house in order to reward your potty trainer.

I may or may not be sneaking a mini Twix bar at this very moment.

Ok, so I'm not, but I'm clearly fantasizing about it.

Which is potentially as dangerous as eating it....

At this very moment, I can't decide which I would rather have...

A nap.

A  2 year old who won't poop as soon as I walk out of the room.

Or chocolate that makes you skinnier.

But I can tell you, they are all more mythical than a unicorn.

At least in the world I'm currently living in.

Some day

Some day my house won't be full of boxes.

Some day I'll be able to see my kitchen floor.

Someday I won't have to clean puddles of pee off my floor.

Someday I won't have to change diapers.

Someday I'll be skinny again.

Someday I'll have my boobs to myself again...kinda. (I am married, ya know...)

Someday I'll be able to watch something other than Disney Jr.

Someday...

Someday I'll miss these days.

So for now, I'm trying not to stress too much about all of it and enjoy it.

Because too soon they will only be memories of a beautiful, if hectic phase of my life.

I have so much to be thankful for, even in all this craziness!

The Legend

When we were growing up, we were poor. My dad worked as a police officer and my mom was a secretary for a public school, and neither job afforded us what you would consider to be a lavish lifestyle.

My parents often found themselves struggling just to put food on the table.

I remember hearing my mom tell stories about going to chop wood with my sister and I asleep in the cab of the truck and then driving around knocking on doors until they managed to sell enough to buy a weeks worth of groceries. This was my legend...I don't really remember it, and yet I heard about it often enough to appreciate it. To really feel like this was my history whether I remember it or not.

That, my friends is likely how my children will feel about this epic move.

How we left Delaware while I was 20 weeks pregnant to live with friends until or house sold...

How we moved into a rental house 3 weeks before Christmas and then ended up stuck at the friends'house while we all recovered from the puke bug...

How we brought home baby girl and then the next day, Daddy left for a big business meeting that could mean huge things for his new company...

How we bought our new house and moved with a six week old and a two year old while Daddy's company opened 6 more stores in one month's time...

And how Mommy managed to move and clean the rental with both kids strapped in their car seats with Dora streaming to her smart phone for days on end...the only breaks being to feed the baby or change diapers...

This, people, will be the legend my kids get to live with. Because this is their history...

It's exciting, yes...

But it's seriously exhausting.

The Difference Between a First and Second Baby

Back when I was on my maternity leave with Little Man, I felt all grown up what with the lack of sleep at night and all the breast feeding.

But this second time, I've really learned what a truly responsible, grown woman and kind, generous, extremely giving mother I am.

And oh, so humble.

All the things I ever thought I might never be.

Except the part about being humble.

If there's anything I prise myself in, its my humility.

(sense the sarcasm, people)

I cannot tell you the immense amount of satisfaction that comes with this knowledge.

I am an amazing mother.

And you wanna know what I am basing that knowledge on?

The fact that I have forfeited my round the clock viewing of DIY network for all day episodes of Mickey Mouse Clubhouse, and my DVR has more Disney Jr. on it than reruns of Parks and Rec.

Yep. Pretty much tipping the scales on Mommy of the Year...

Try not to be too jealous...

Happy Pi Day!

Hope you celebrate in the most appropriate way possible...

With a giant slice of pie!

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