The Good Wife

This post is based solely upon my last waking thoughts before bed last night.

You should be afraid.

But, for the sake of full disclosure, Here goes:

I am not a good wife all the time.  

Don't be shocked.  

Put down your paper bag - I'm going to explain....

Sometimes, I don't want to be a good wife.

Sometimes, I even make the conscious decision not to be a good wife.

Sometimes, I am pmsing and I've been around 2 little tyrants who scream their demands at me while I am trying to clean up their poop.

And sometimes, just sometimes, I choose to be the wife that nags and whines and pouts.

Admittedly, on occasion, it's involuntary.

But most of the time, I choose it.

Last night, as I was drifting off to sleep listening to my husband, who was still working at 11 pm, talking on his phone next to me, this was the fight I battled.

It had been a particularly long day.

After a particularly long week.

I honestly hadn't said more than a sentence or 2 to him all day.

And at the end of the day, I just wanted a few minutes of his attention.

If you know me, you might know my passive aggressive drill.  (Sarah, you'll recognize this IMMEDIATELY)

1. I sigh, ALOT.

Usually very loudly.

You know that sound your dog makes when he sees a squirrel?  My sighs are a little like that.

Very deep, in the back of my throat.  Just aggressive enough to let everyone around you know that you want something.

Dramatic, right?

And yet subtle at the same time.

2. Then, I make my presence known.

Usually by stomping or banging something.

Think Teresa Guidice.

Think almost, but not really, subtle.

Think, I may have flipped a table in my time...

3. Finally, I play the martyr.

Think Cinderella complex.

Think not at all the strong, independent Drew Barrymore version.

Think "woe-is-me" Disney version.

Usually I start by saying things like, "Do you want anything to eat or drink before I go to bed, sweetheart?"

Usually, DRIPPING with sarcasm.

And last night was pretty much classic Leah-at-her-passive-aggressive-best.

I may or may not have even succumbed to prancing around in lingerie.

Because nothing is as passive aggressive, as a lingerie clad wife who has no intentions of putting out.

But as I climbed in bed, I clicked over to Facebook.

Admittedly, not typically the wisest decision for someone in woe-is-me-passive-aggressive-mode. 

As it typically only leads to more wallowing...

But last night, I saw this...

Credit

Le, sigh.

Cue sucker punch to the lacey nighty.

Cue epiphany.

As much as it may have behooved me last night to say it, I have a fantastic husband.

Who works very hard for our family.

To the extreme of working long days and late nights while the rest of us are sleeping. 

It's not my job to love him when he's paying attention to me.

It's not my job to love him on good days.

It's not my job to love him when life is easy and we see eye to eye on every little thing.

It's my job to respect him for who he is and to love him for it.

So, for today, that's where I'm at.

Because that's what love is all about.

Now, excuse me while I go pack my Teresa Guidice angry face away for a while....

My Funny Valentine

Let me just be honest with you....

When you are a stay at home mommy of two and your husband is galivanting all over the state of Georgia running a company, Valentine's Day can seriously sneak up on you.

Suddenly, the day is here and you are running your dog to the vet, then the groomer, paying bills, running errands, and eventually rolling into the driveway just in time for naps....

And then back out for more.

I did have the forethought, though, to place a to-go order at Chili's....

Only to arrive in one of the most crowded parking lots in town, and realize that I still had to drag my 2 kids out of the car to go inside and pick up my food.

yay.

And then I called the groomer to see if my dog was done with his appointment.

Because, you know, his appointment was supposed to be over hours ago.

Only to have them tell me that he wasn't done and he wouldn't be for more than an hour.

So there I sat.

With my hard-won dinner that I had victoriously acquired at the hands of tyrannical toddlers and an over-crowded restaurant.

Not to mention, said fussy off-spring.

Stuck in the car.

Waiting.

That was when it hit me.

It didn't have to be miserable.

And I didn't have to just sit there and wait for the groomer to catch up with  me.

So, I called Techy and rolled out of the parking lot.

I may or may not have turned on some sappy Taylor Swift song to get me into the mood.

And made a quick left hand turn into the emptiest parking lot in town.

But, in the opinion of at least one of my passengers, the happiest place in town:

Credit

Within a few minutes, my date pulled in next to us, and we happily unloaded our crew into the play place.

Where we celebrated one of the finest Valentine's Days' I can remember....

In the flourescent glow of can lighting - after all, who can see anything in candlelight?

Our centerpiece was nothing more decorative than a ketchup packet and paper napkins....

But the food was still warm,

The company was better than I could have dreamed of,

And the crowd was non-existent.

Our Valentine's Day may not have been a classy as yours.

Or as romantic.

But it was filled with love.

And happiness.

And in my opinion, that makes it the finest Valentine's Day we've celebrated in years.

Blip vs. Bullhorn

Today is supposed to be Helpful-How-To's.

And I had one planned.

But like I said on Monday...

I tend to blog about things that I am obsessed with concerned about.

And today, the only thing on my mind is my mom.

Because yesterday, I almost lost her.

Yesterday, around 3:30, while I was feeding Baby Girl, my phone rang.

It was daddy.

And usually, I would panic.

He never calls me.

But yesterday, I just thought, Yes, Dad, I'm going to join the NRA as soon as possible...

And then I said, "Hello?"

"Leah?!  Hey!  Your momma's been in a really bad accident.  She's ok...at least I think she's ok.  She's talking and stuff, but they wouldn't let her walk and she's on the way to the hospital, she ran off the road and a fence post came through the windshield right next to her head, went clean through the car and busted out the back window...LEAH??  ARE YOU THERE???"

I was too busy dry heaving to respond, Daddy...sorry about that....

"Yeah, Dad, I'm here.  She's ok?"

"I think so, I mean, she's on her way to the hospital now and they are going to do tests to make sure....  You ok?"

"Yeah, Dad.  You ok?"

"Yeah.  I'm fine.  You should see the car....  I don't know how....  I'll call you when I get to the hospital, ok?"

And then I got this in a text:

Um...

HOLYCRAPBATMAN.

First of all, how is my mom's head still attached?

I got that picture and I fell apart.

You know, AFTER I knew she was alive, I fell apart.

The thing is, I tried to call my mom 4 times yesterday morning.

And I gave up after the 4th try.

And for all I knew she could have still had some serious injuries.

And I had no way of reaching her.

And I had given up when I had the chance.

I literally shook all over, broke into a sweat and burst into tears.

I scared Baby Girl half to death with all the weeping and wailing and gnashing of teeth.

And I didn't get to talk to my mom until 9 pm last night.

I'm still a bit...off...about all of it.

I took alot for granted yesterday.

And got a helpful reminder that I shouldn't do that.

Sometimes these things can tend to be just a blip on the radar of life....

But I'm going to try to take it as more of a blaring bullhorn of a wakeup call.

And thank Jesus that she still has a head, she still can talk to me, and that I can still race home to get a giant hug from her as soon as I can catch the first flight.

She's the best mom I've ever had, and I'm not quite ready to let go of that....

Now, go give your mom (or any mother roles in your life) a giant hug and kiss.

And cherish every moment - you just never know what tomorrow may bring....

Less Than a Week From Now

We close on our new house.

You know, the Georgia one.

And I will finally have a sink all to myself.

And if you think I'm excited about the sink, you should see how excited I am about being able to flush the toilet without waking my toddler up.

And since a lot of you have asked me for pics...

I'll give you a sneak peak.

With the promise of more next week...

Remember When?

Ah, for the good ole days when he just drank butt water and not soapy, sudsy, diarrhea inducing butt water...

At Least the Answer isn't "Blue"

Me to Little Man "What color is your sister's hair?"

Little Man: "orange"

Of Feedings and Fairy Tales

Not gonna lie.

These days there are a lot of extra hours in my day.

And even more diaper changings.

But somewhere in between, there is time for coupon clipping, bleary eyes, and episodes of the newest musical dramas and fairy tale television.

Not to mention a meltdown or two from my 2 year old.

Overall, I'm trying to figure out what in the world to do with all the extra time I now have on my hands.

I mean its so overwhelming.

You can feel sorry for me.

Just know that while you are snoring at 2 am, I am probably drooling, half-asleep, at Jack Davenport or hating the evil queen who is destroying Storybrooke....

Try not to be too jealous....

It's totally understandable.

Especially when I am the lucky one staring at this...

One Week Later...

It's been a week. An exhausting, chaotic, exciting, terrifying week.

I forgot how hard it is to have a newborn...especially in the middle of the night.

I forgot how hard it is to keep a toddler away from a new born...oh wait. Never experienced that before.

Talk about terrifying.

Especially when your toddler is so "all-boy" that he wants to do things like play catch with the baby and share his tractor.

Admittedly, it could be worse so I'll be thankful.

Something else I forgot is just how easy it is to bond with your new baby during these long and lonely midnight feedings.

There was a portion of me who was really worried about not having room in my heart for another baby. Crazy, I know.

But then those first few midnight.feedings happen and that teeny tiny little baby does something simple like grab your finger or curl up on your chest and everything changes.

You end up feeling like the grinch whose "heart grew 3 times that day" and you have more than enough room to love this little person, and to love the others even more.

I don't understand it.

I can't explain it.

But I'm oh so thankful.

He, She, It, They...

The day before we moved, we went in for a little ultrasound...

And Little Man wanted to be the first to tell you....

Yep.

It's a girl!

We are so excited!

Despite the hesitance in Little Man's face...

Things the Purge Helped me Remember

A few weeks ago, when I got the itch to start cleaning out my house, I realized something.

There is alot of stuff that I have forgotten about in this place!

And there is alot of stuff that I have just forgotten about in general.

So I thought I would share some of my random memories with you.

In no specific order at all.

One of the more laughable forgotten moments of this list comes from a family vacation.  4 parents, 2 college age girls, 3 college age boys, and one teenage boy.

I.e., 4 boys.

And a big screen tv.

That SOMEONE just needed to take apart for some random reason.

And that SOMEONE almost couldn't get put back together.

Note the sheer panic in the first picture.

The only picture anyone will ever have of my Nanny in a bar.

We got stuck waiting for a table at a restaurant. 

And I had to capitalize on the opportunity to snap a pic of my holy Grandmother sitting in front of Jose Cuervo. 

You know you'd do the same....

The day I graduated from college.

Techy and I had been dating for about a month.

Have I ever told you that I spoke at our graduation?

And that I was so nervous that I head bobbed through the entire speech....

I only watched the video once. 

And then I destroyed it from sheer humiliation.

Ugh.

The headbob is only more pronounced with a tassle hanging nest to your face.

The year we all chose our own Christmas stockings...from things we had around the house.

Left to right:  Daddy-Camo Pants, Sarah - Laundry bag, Me - King sized pillow case, Ben - Army duffle bag, Mom - her sewing satchel.

That was a fun year....

And then there was the time and my brother in law and I found the 3D National Geographic from 1985 at my grandparent's house.

Gosh, the things that I have forced my poor brother in law to do.

Like pretend to be entertained by 3D pictures of Mars from 1985.

He's pretty good for a brother in law.

There was a phase where every random (nude) statue or giant fish was a photo opportunity....

I'm thankful that phase is over....

My favorite dress of all time.

Secret:  I made it my sophomore year of college.  And wore it until it fell apart.

Sad, sad day.

Remember what I said about the random statues/large animals?

All photo op's.

All of them.

This was taken the day before I graduated from college.

My mother was not crying.  She has a problem with burning the tip of her nose when we go to the beach.

Did I mention that the college I graduated from was about 10 miles from the beach?

Um. Yeah.

Mom didn't come to visit me...she came to park herself on the beach.

I kid!  I kid!

Well, kinda....

Study group...

With some lifelong pals....

Christmas - Sophomore year.

My daddy with a mustache...weird.

My brother as a teenager...weirder.

My sister as a blonde...the age old battle between blonde or brunette....

Thank you, Britney Spears, for making the double pigtail look happen.

While I was in college.

Boy, was that a hot look!

The day after a hurricane at college.

We were brave Floridian's at the time.

We didn't know the difference between staying in or going out.

My brother-in-law's twin.  Who was possibly one of my closest friends during my (lonely) junior and senior year of college.

Check it out!

My BFF senior year. 

The only reason I know Techy.

Also appearing in this pic...the dress.  Again.

Told you it was a fave.

The world may never know what an ironic picture this is.

On so many levels.

But I do.

This is one of Techy's best friends.

Who I knew a good 2 years before I ever heard of Techy.

And who I never thought I would ever speak to again.

After my junior year of college.

Until I met Techy.

And now, he's pretty much an everyday name in our household.

And we visit him and his wife at least 2x per year.

And no, that girl is not his wife.

Ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Purple lipstick.

Remember?

REMEMBER???

One of my favorite people.

EVER.

There was never a dull moment around this guy.

EVER.

Little boys.

Who should always be little boys.

But according to Facebook, they just graduated high school, got jobs, got married and are having babies.

How does this happen!?!?!

And then, there was Techy.

Although all anyone sees in this pic (above) is the wedgie woman.

But what I see are the younger years.

When Techy didn't like to smile in pictures.

And again.

Seriously.

Why on earth wouldn't he smile?

He says nerves.

I say, blahhhhhhhhhhhhh!  SMILE!

But finally, 2 days before HIS graduation....  (and yes, a year after mine...)

A smile.

And the rest, they say, is history.

Oh wait!  How did this kid get here???

I say, blame it on the smile....

Monday's Diversion Tactic

It's been a while since I caught all of you up on the adventures of Little Man.

And some of you live far away...

And occassionally DEMAND the cuteness (Ceej, I'm looking at you...).

For those of you who get to see Little Man all the time, my apologies, but seriously....

The cuteness is pretty epic, right?

He's figured out that mommy's phone also takes pictures...which he LOVES.

I can't even answer the phone without hearing "SHEESE!"

And yes, I am the mommy who still lets my child have a paci at night time.

Don't judge me.

He got a teensy tiny haircut.

Not sure who the barber was, but I think he may have had a former career in the Marines....

Sorry about that...

We let him watch a few too many Kevin Costner movies and suddenly he thinks this is totally appropriate....

We're working on teaching him otherwise.

This kid LOVES some food. 

Especially bread.

And pasta.

Hello, Diabetics Anonymous? 

I know.

Just don't look at the food.

Cause it's just gross.

But the cheese face at the dinner table?

Too much to resist!!!

And lest you think it's all cuteness...

This is my child.  Being a boy.

What you are seeing is a crashed car (on the table) that is being pummeled by another car and since that would never be enough - a tractor.

Because that's apparently how things work in boy's worlds....

And these moments...ah....

These moments don't come often anymore.

The sound of baby snores rarely make their way from our backseat these days.

We are usually hearing other sounds like, "Uh Oh, Poo Poo, Mommy" or "AYE-Plane!"

And this moment was too good not to capture.

The tippy toes, the book, the fact that he was screaming "DADDY!  TRACTURE!"

All a memory that I want to remember forever.

Which of course means that I assume you do too.

Man, this mommy gig is pretty sweet!

Now, why don't you give me a call, so I can put you on the phone with my silent child for 30 minutes while I try to get him to say hello to you....

No? 

Oh well.  Maybe next time....

Eating: The First Trimester Version

For those of you who think this pregnancy thing is a food-fest, BEWARE!

For that is not always the case.

Here are a run down of the foods I have survived on (read: managed to choke down and keep down) for the last 6 weeks.

Week 6: Peanut Butter and Jelly Sandwiches and Peanut Butter Crackers

Week 7: Crackers made me gag.  Now ONLY Peanut Butter and jelly sandwiches or toast with jelly will stay down.  Eating hourly.  Sometimes more.  It was RIDICULOUS.

Week 8:  The smell of peanut butter (along with everything else) began to do wicked things to me.  I was surviving off of cheerios, applesauce and bean burritoes and the eating NEVER STOPPED.

Week 9: Now that peanut butter is out of my diet, I have moved on to other sources of protein.  Bagels with cream cheese are pleasing, even if they don't last long.  Jolly ranchers and cold pizza are my best friends.

Week 10: Still enjoying Jolly Ranchers and cold pizza thankfully, but I have discovered that Lucky Charms are still magically delicious and turkey and cheese sandwiches will buy me a good 2 hour stretch of non-eating time. 

Week 11:  Have finally narrowed things down to a someone regular eating schedule -
Breakfast: 2 bowls of cereal
Morning Snack: 2 Turkey & Cheese Sandwiches and a can of Slim Fast (9 grams of protein - YAY!!!)
Morning Snack 2: String Cheese & Apple
Lunch: Can of soup, an apple, string cheese, and a bag of pretzels.
Afternoon Snack: 2 Turkey & Cheese Sandwiches and a can of Slim Fast
Dinner: 2 Turkey & Cheese Sandwiches and a can of Slim Fast.

Week 12: Sugar (with the exception of slim fasts and lucky charms) suddenly gives me headaches and makes me very sick.  But on the upside, I can still eat the same things I could eat last week and the frequency of meals has definitely tapered off a bit.


In other preggo-health-related-news:

As of Sunday, I weighed in at 148.4 lbs., which is right at 10 lbs. gained so far.
Doesn't sound great.  10 lbs in 3 months?  But heck, at this point last time I was already sitting at like 15 or 20. 

And if I maintain this rate of gain, by the time everything is said and done, I will have gained at least 20 lbs. less than last time.

I was doing GREAT with my workouts until vacation hit.

And then everything changed.  VERY QUICKLY.

Currently, although the sickness is finally fading a bit, our schedules have picked up ALOT leaving me with absolutely no workout time for the next few weeks. 

You can imagine how that makes me feel...the OCD-I-NEED-to-workout-side...it's terrifying.

But that's life. 

And at least I have pregnancy to blame it on!

Aren't you jealous?

A Letter

Dear Baby Number Two,

You wouldn't believe what a surprise you were to your Mommy. 

The day I found out that you were there, I had pretty much decided you weren't ready for us yet. 

And that we would have to wait longer for you.   

We had been praying and waiting and hoping that you would come along soon to be a good friend and playmate to your big brother.

But God kept us on our toes.

And it was just when we had decided that we were ok with waiting a little longer for you, that you came along.

Changing everything.

From the size of Mommy's bridesmaid's dress in Uncle B's wedding....

To plans for next year's vacation to Jamaica.

Your timing is scary.

It's perfect and wonderful and terrifying all at the same time.

There are so many things that we have to think about now that we know about you.

But that doesn't change the fact that we are excited for you.

I am convinced you are a girl.

Only because my pregnancy test was pink this time around (it was blue, with your brother's).

That's logical right? 

To base my firm beliefs relative to your gender solely upon the color of the cap atop a stick I peed on.

One thing you will learn about your momma is that she ain't always logical.

Also?

She doesn't always use proper grammar.

And your Daddy?

Oh, child.

You better hang on to your hat, because he's a crazy man.

And I don't even want to ruin the excitement by spilling the beans about how awesome your big brother is.

Just get here safely.

And quickly.

And try not to make too much of a ruckus on the way out, okay?

Love,

Your Mommy


Post-Script: Baby Number 2 is due February 15, 2012.  What can I say, I try to keep my children centered around national holidays.

The Wedding in Fuzzy iPhone Pics

Since I know you've been wondering about the festivities from last week...

I thought I'd share what I could.

Take into account the fact that since we were all in the wedding, no one had real camera's.

Also take into account the fact that even if we did have camera's, the photographer had a strict "don't interrupt my work with your flash*" rule. 

So we were left with Cousin Amy's iPhone pictures.

Which are fabulous.

For cell phone pics.

I'm certainly not complaining.

So, without further ado...

The Cousins - 20 minutes till go time

The Fleet Girls...including the soon-to-be one

In another life, we were super models.

Mini Meltdown - Over Chapstick.  She takes after me.

The ceremony

The Kiss

And finally: The FAM

I wish we had more to show, and I'm sure in a few weeks we will**.... 

But for now...this is what we got.

I'd also love to give you all the gory details to make it as realistic as possible for you.

Like the fact that the nearest hotel to the church was at least 40 minutes away.

And the boys had to pick up their tuxes in Grand Rapids, which was 1.5 hours away from our hotel.

Not to mention a late night baseball game followed by an all-nighter when the slide show that just wouldn't run took every bit of a full night's sleep to fix.

Not to mention a very stressed out bride and enough christmas lights to don the Griswold's house 8 times.

Oh, and did I mention, the midnight drive across the PA Turnpike that we thought would never end....

But I think I will leave out all the dirty details and let you enjoy the pretty - if fuzzy - stuff.

Because I'm uber positive like that. 

At the end of the day, they were married, it was beautiful, and you'd have never known anything ever went wrong! 

And, after all, I gained a new sister!

So all in all.  It was a success.


*She literally barked at my 75 year old grandfather about him taking pictures.  Boy, did that go over well.  Let this be a lesson to you photog's...flashes may be annoying, but there are NICE ways to take care of that situation. 

**If you want to see the photog's sneak peek, you can check those here.  And then come back to tell me how gorgeous my new SIL is.