Tales from the crib

After such a short time of being home with Little Man, there are a few things I've picked up on pretty quickly.

1. My child is very hands on.
Everything is, "mommy, come here." Or "mommy, roll it." Or worst of all, "mommy, hot dog dance!"

Have I mentioned I'm about 9 months pregnant and agility, including hot dog dancing, is not only uncomfortable, but almost impossible.

But does that mean I  don't try?

Not a chance!!!

Momma has a mean hot dog dance.

2. My child is obsessed with having a marker in his hand. But he is constantly losing the lids.  And I'm a bit ocd. Needless to say, I'm losing my mind.

Along with markers.

3. This kid is incredibly fascinated with bodily functions-even if he can't tell them apart. "Pee pee" and "poo poo" are commonly confused...which leads me to my next point...

4. It is surprisingly possible to have a 2 poop crisis day.

Including but not limited to an attempt to "go potty" that mommy confused for a "go pee pee" that resulted in a poop down the leg, all over our pants and in the socks situation, which could only be eclipsed by the ever impressive tub-floater happening later in the day.

Allow me to say that nothing freaks mommy out quite like her child swimming in his own feces.

Let's just say it's more than a little surprising that the neighbors didn't break down the door, considering all the screaming....

5. Melt downs still happen. And not just in the privacy of our own home.

6. The kid is obsessed with trains, so at 4 am when the train cruises by our house and wakes him up, he is not only not upset, but he begins a rolling dialogue about said choo choo to no one in particular. This dialogue can last for minutes or hours, depending on his ability to find something in his crib that can be imagined to be a choo choo. I am obviously impressed, but 4 am is not really the time of day I would choose to discuss the Awesomeness of choo choo trains. Odd mother I am, huh?

7. Puke happens. And when it does, you may or may not spend the next 3 days trying to figure out what that smell is and how to get rid of it. Until you remember....

8. Nap time is always 10 minutes shorter than you needed it to be.

9. A 2 year old can survive on chicken "uggets" alone. And he may actually CHOOSE to survive on chicken "uggets" alone.  Whether you like it or not....

10. Almost all things can be cured with an episode of Mickey.  Yes, I've been reduced to luring my child into good behavior with the promise of Mickey Mouse....

I'm pregnant.

And weak.

And it works.

You can judge me if you like.