Biting Back the Bitterness

If we're friends at all, you probably know that today's tragedy at Virginia Tech had a real impact on me.

And if you aren't aware of what happened, I'm so jealous of you.

Because I spent all afternoon sitting by my phone and anxiously waiting for updates from my brother in law who was out on the man hunt.

And maybe it wouldn't be so bad if I hadn't known he was working today.

Or if there hadn't been so many conflicting reports about who the fallen officer was.

Or if this had been the first time this had happened.

Or maybe if my mom hadn't gotten one if those phone calls when I was 9 years old....

I know the terror of thinking you have lost someone you love due to the random, senseless act of some troubled person.

I have watched my sister live the agony time and again as her husband spends days doing his job, just as this young officer was....

Tonight, I ache for that poor wife and mother who got that phone call.

Tonight, I seethe with anger and hatred for the evil behind this senseless act.

And tonight, I pray.

For comfort.

For strength.

For healing.

For peace.

Because, after all that we've been through, I've learned nothing if I haven't realized that despite it all, God is still in control.

And as shocking as it seems, he still loves the troubled soul who committed this wretched act.

And for now, my only response can be...

May the God of all comfort show himself all powerful tonight while so many hearts ache.