First of all, I want to say that Paul, the photographer at the wedding we went to, is an amazing photographer.
That being said, as I sat and watched Paul and Charlie work to capture the day, I noticed one thing -
neither of them are women.
Shocking, I know.
But realistically, I wonder how feasible it is for a man to know what the Bride (assuming that the Brides opinion weighs heavier than most grooms) expects the content of her wedding photos to be? I mean, the look he can capture, but the content...other than the norm, men haven't the slightest intuition of what it should be.
So many amazing moments happen on the sidelines of a wedding. And alot of men don't even notice that they happen, much less capture them on film.
2. Toile does more?
Apparently, there is such a thing as a Toile dress.
And here I was just assuming that this was as good as toile got.
3. There is a dress code for weddings. Match the wedding colors or wear black. PERIOD.
This is a rule I was COMPLETELY unaware of.
(Yes, the toile dress was black and white - therefore fit the dress code)
But this is coming from the girl who made her mother wear an ivory dress to her wedding because she loved the fur collar....
So yeah....We are RULE BREAKERS.
All these years I have been operating under the assumption that black is a no-no for weddings.
Black equals funerals. Death. Ick.
Therefore, I don't wear black to weddings.
To me, it's always been like raining death on a marriage.
I would rather sit home alone in my grungy bathrobe and eat ramen than rain death upon your Paula Deen catered/Journey-played wedding gig.
But this wedding...EVERYONE wore black. With the acception of the Bride's aunts who wore pink and purple.
And my once adorable plaid dress was more of high school musical attire than adorable wedding wear.
Oh.the.humiliation.
Noted.
Next wedding beware, I will be raining death in gruesome garb just like the rest of the crowd.
4. Catholic wedding invitations should come with a step by step tutorial for non-Catholics.
The wedding was a traditional Catholic mass, of which I know nothing.
NOTHING.
Being the good little Baptist that I am, I don't explore other religions often.
All the kneeling. Responsing. Communioning. Responsing again.
And me.
In a plaid dress.
A pink plaid dress.
Not knowing when to kneel.
Or when to get up.
Or commune.
So instead, sitting alone in my pew, hoping that no one noticed how out of place my plaid attire was while they were kneeling and communing.
Oh.the.humiliation.
5. Techy really did get down in the mud to capture the perfect shot.
Obviously, I can't post it yet, since the happy couple still hasn't seen it, but let me tell you it was the PERFECT shot.
Wanna know something even better?
I made him get down in the mud to get it!
What a good wife I am. (Also known as, the good stain-getter-outer since I will be washing the mud out of that shirt later.
6. Photog Paul will go to great lengths (or heights) for the perfect shot.
See this ridiculousness?
That's a 25 foot ladder that the church uses to change the bulbs in their chandeliers.
And.Paul.climbed.it. For another PERFECT shot.
7. I am evidently a professional photographic assistant. (AKA, Reflector holder, AKA camera bag toter, AKA run-to-the-car-in-heels-for-the-other-reflector girl, AKA wife...)
I can't tell you how many times Paul told Charlie how lucky he was to have me there to help him. Not that I was much help, but I did make things a little easier for both of them (I think). I also can't tell you how many times I heard Paul say, "Man, I need a wife..."
Awwww, anyone wanna date an amazing photographer?
(This is where there should be a disclosure that he will use you to keep him company during a long day at a wedding full of people you don't know, which is always super fun, but since I think that might scare you off, I won't say that....)
8. New wedges
Following the great advice of my fashionista, Ceej, who just scored an amazing deal on her outfit for the most recent Jewish holiday, and advised me to avoid the sinking-heels-in-the-mud-debacle with wedges, I went to Kohls.
My personal sanctuary.
With a 30% off coupon.
(Have I mentioned how much I love Kohl's? They are really serious when they say to expect great things!)
I picked up these cutie patooties with the $11 plaid dress. (Total cost of inappropriate wedding attire=$36, AKA not as good as Ceej!)
But you should know that after 8 hours of standing in these puppies, even comfortable wedges become the most despised creation on the planet.
Just saying.
9. Drummers can also be lead singers.
I have no idea of the name of the band who played the reception, all I can tell you is that they are made up of 3 large set, balding men. And they were amazing.
And the drummer is the lead singer.
Amazingnesssssssssssssssssss.
10. When he thinks no one is looking, Techy holds his camera in much the same way as he held "Little Man" in the early days.
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