Riddle me this, Batman

So I am dying to know. How on earth could I start working out again, eating better, and GAIN WEIGHT? Ugh, I know, I know, I hear it all the time, “It’s because you are gaining muscle…” Blah, blah, blah. I don’t want to gain muscle, I want to burn off this fat. Ya know, the baby fat rolling around on my belly and legs! Ugh. So.unfair. On the upside, I may have gained 4 lbs, but my pants are fitting looser, which means, I either haven’t washed them recently or I am slowly melting away that body fat. I guess there's always the option that Techy slipped me some of that juice from Alice in Wonderland and I am slowly shrinking - so slowly that I don’t realize it. But that’s highly unlikely since I usually pour his drinks – not the other way around.

In other news, I am working on a remarkable bathroom remodel. Ok, so not really a remodel - I am more or less doing a bathroom “makeover” – taking what I have and making it look better. The process is nothing if not tedious. Especially since my bathroom is extremely tight quarters. But it started with wall paper.

Oh wall paper…. We have quite the hate-hate relationship, wallpaper and I. Not that I hate all wall paper. Wall paper that is professionally done is not bad. Don't get me wrong though.... After this, you probably won’t find any in my house, but whatever, it’s not bad.

I do think that all wall paper may hate me, though.

The wall paper that we had in our guest bathroom was ridiculous. It was not professionally done – you could see every seam. It was peeling up around the shower stall and at some of the seams. Basically, it was just begging to be peeled off the wall.

And that I did…

Here’s what it looked like when I started.







You can actually see two or 3 seams in this picture.... Seriously!

Wonderful faux finish wall paper. Again, not criticizing, but faux finish is not in my blood either. I much prefer clean lines and sharp colors.

And the color….


You can’t really tell it from these pictures, but the trim and the window frame are a creamy color that I despise. I know it is just because when the previous owner redid this bathroom he got a really good deal on a cream bathtub, but really…. Everything looks dingy!



Ahhh, Feels better already....

Note: If you ever get angry and need a good way to vent your frustration, peeling wall paper may help!

18 days

Today I am counting down to vacation....

Admittedly today, I would rather be here



with him


And I know that he would rather be here


even if it is with this


We really like vacation...

I would also like to be here


or here


And I wouldn't mind being here, either...


As long as they are with me


It wouldn't be any fun without them!

In the city of the land of Oz

Just so credit goes where it is due, I stole the title from my girlfriend. The girlfriend that I desperately tried to go visit last night. Who lives in the city. (Who will probably be appalled that I called her a girlfriend, so old-school of me!)

Originally, we were going to work out together, but then we opted for a quick visit and tour of her new home, which she has somehow lived in for almost 6 months without me being over to visit. I realize what a very bad friend I am. Extremely self absorbed with my new baby and whatnot. But no excuses….

Anyway, I got home from work, printed off directions to her house and headed out with Little Man in tow. I am always intimidated of the city, being such a country bumpkin, so I took a good look at the map before heading out. Didn’t look too difficult, so I figured I would be ok.

When I got off at her exit, I quickly remembered why I am so intimidated of the city.

A DEFINITE LACK OF STREET SIGNS.
Seriously. Making a left at W. Union Street is a little difficult when there is no street sign for W. Union Street. Need I say more?

Probably not, but I will.

ONE WAY STREETS.
I finally find the street I am supposed to make a right turn on and it is a one way street going left only. Nice. Somewhere in this city, I am supposed to be able to make a right on this street.

And one more thing

POP-UP GHETTO’S
How do you go from way cute houses to slums in one block? For real? How does that happen? I thought I was going to die. And there are freaking stop signs everywhere. And every time you stop people are walking up to your car, in front of your car, around your car…. I was so afraid I was going to end up in some bad car jacking gone wrong. And with the baby in tow. I was a nervous wreck.

Finally, I found a road I recognized and I made the turn trying to get back around to a nice section of town. But I couldn’t get over far enough and somehow ended up back on the interstate. In wall to wall traffic. With no exits for 2-3 miles. Nice.

And this, my friends, is why I don’t go to the city. Ever. And our city isn’t even that big a city. I am way rural. Like Beverly Hillbillies Rural.

But I will go back.

After I buy myself a GPS with a setting for “No Pop-up Ghettos”

A love affair

I love technology. Obviously.

I love the convenience of talking to people without having to actually talk. I love the fact that I can watch all my favorite shows without having to stay up late to watch them. I love the fact that I can know all about what is going on in someone’s life without ever talking to them.

What I love even more is watching the older generation enjoy the wonders of technology. They don’t fully understand it, but they love it. This morning one of the ladies in my office, who just had a new grandbaby a few months ago, had obviously gotten a picture message on her cell phone and was toting it around to show it off to everyone. It’s so funny to me.

I can’t even go on Facebook anymore without seeing a comment from a former teacher, youth leader, or volleyball coach.

I love the fact that my mom knows how to text message.

I love the fact that everytime my father-in-law goes out of town, he feels compelled to send me a picture message of whatever sight he is seeing.

I love the fact that my grandma has a cell phone and email.

Now if we could just skip to the part where we all have flying cars and robots named Rosie, my life really would be complete!

Pookie and Techy's Day Of Fun!

This weekend was a busy one. But last Thursday night, Techy stopped me while I was getting Little Man ready for bed to advise me that he had a surprise for me. Apparently he had asked my mother-in-law to watch our little guy for Saturday night so that we could go out for a well deserved night out. And he was so excited about it. He kept mocking that scene from Friends when Janice drags Joey back into the apartment chanting “Janice and Joey’s DAY OF FUN!” But we knew we had a lot to do before we ever made it to our “Day of Fun”. And we made a list.

-Oil Change
-Yard work
-Chop off the stump in our flower bed and mulch over it (We had a wretched plant that has been eating one side of our house since we moved in. Thankfully, during one of the 3 blizzards we had this year, it kicked the big one and fell over, so Techy and the neighbor chopped it down last weekend and my house breathed a long awaited sigh of relief)
-Clean Garage
-Laundry (never got done)
-Clean house (only partially done)

(We are list people)
And that’s only about half of what was on the list.

By 3 o’clock, we were exhausted and not even halfway through the list, but we had to stop if we were ever going to make it to dinner on time. And off we went.

We had a phenomenal time together. We went to dinner early. Amazing restaurant. Delicious food. Amazing food. It was like I have never tasted food before. The décor of the restaurant was amazing. They seated us at a couch with a table in front of it. (Almost like being at home with a personal chef and no tv) and proceeded to feed us all sorts of delectable delights. (I can’t begin to tell you how much we enjoyed the food.) Our original plan was to head over to the mall after dinner, but since dinner took a bit longer than we had expected, we opted to head back towards home and pick up Little Man from the in-law’s house.

But, on the way home, we passed one of my all time favorite stores….

And I begged Techy to let me stop. So we did. Apparently, Techy has never been in a Big Lots before. He couldn’t get enough! Everytime I would try to make my way to the register, he managed to find something else amazing to look at. He reminded me of that guy from the Staples commercials – “WOW, THAT’S A LOW PRICE!!!”

And for the record, he walked away with a treasure.... A Solar Tiki Statue similar to this beauty



Now imagine a blue glow and you will have a good image of what he got. Talk about delighted. I couldn't have pried it from him if I had tried. (Which I obviously did not. He was far too giddy about that thing.)

If only every date could result in such an amazing take-away. Obviously, this date classifies as one of the top dates of all time! (I will just say it, we are very simple people...obviously)

Truly Professional

So I love to dole out unsolicited advice…LOVE it. The only thing better than unsolicited advice is solicited advice. But since that hardly ever happens….

I think it’s because I agonize so often over everything in my life, and if I had had someone to dole out some realistic advice, I might not have freaked out as much over my life. Not that I heed all the advice I hear.

Others: You should really try that all protein, no carb diet.
Me: No thanks! I love my carbs!

Others: You should be watching Dancing with the Stars! It’s amazing this season!
Me: I am still really angry at Bachelor Jake for picking Vienna and I really can’t stomach watching him be happy every week knowing he is with her. Also I can’t bear to watch Kate Gosselin trip over her own 2 feet week after week.

Others: You should really deliver that baby all natural. It is an amazing experience that you will never forget.
Me: No thanks! I enjoy the fact that I don’t have to suffer for hours in order to get my baby into this world, and I am going to relish the joys of technology and science as I deliver. Also, I don’t want to remember the horror that is natural childbirth.

You get the idea.

I, on the other hand, helpfully dole out SENSIBLE advice.

Me: You should really clean the dirt out from under your toenails before wearing sandals. Really.
Others: Thank you! That is a very helpful hint! I am so glad you brought that to my attention!

Me: You do realize that wearing white pants only serves to make your hips look wider? Wearing black pants is much more sensible for someone who wants to make their hips look smaller
Others: Wow, you are a fashionista! Thanks!

Me: When you want to boss someone around, but don’t want them to get angry at you, always call them “hon” or “sweetheart” and make it sound as sweet and southern as possible. The more southern you sound, the less they can get angry with you.
Others: You are so right! Thank you so much for your words of wisdom!

All that being said, I realized this week that I have bestowed advice to everyone I know who has had a baby since me. Sad, huh? I probably should apologize to everyone for that. Sorry, guys.

I really was expecting the worst when I gave birth to Little Man, (probably a result of my miserable pregnancy) and really got the best. Labor was not bad, thanks to the help of lots and lots of meds. Delivery was a breeze. (Ya know as far as pushing a watermelon out of your hoo ha can get) Nursing was ok. Clogged mammory glands suck, but ya know…it comes with the territory. Baby sleeping through the night…check! And I want everyone else to experience that. And so I dole out the advice that helped me and things that I learned along the way that I wished I had known beforehand. Should I be sorry for that? Who’s to say.

Looking back, I think I do and have done this about everything.
-College? Let me share my opinions….
-Getting married? I would LOVE to weigh in on which dress your mom should wear and how you should style your hair.
-Redecorating your house? Have you seen my mad decorating skills? Let me show you how to balance that room out!

If I have done this to you, please know that it is only because 1) I agonize about decisions and 2) like to pretend like I know everything. And love me anyway. K? Thanks!

And I don't mean slippers or socks

Let’s just be honest, it’s not every day that you are truly happy with your life and the way things have turned out for you.

But today…

Today I am oh so happy with my life. That isn’t to say that all is right with the world, but that I happy to be at this stage in the game.

Last night, we packed up Little Man and headed over to our friends’ house for the evening. As I sat there holding their 9 month old and my 3 month old, I couldn’t help but relish the moment. As we all laughed and cried about babies teething, nap times, crawling woes, dirty diapers, work drama, day care drama, family drama. And I couldn’t help but think that these are the moments we all look forward to. Then we talked about our friends who are getting married and planning their own families and all the drama that comes with that.

This is life.

Crazy, hectic, emotional, stressful, sad, and beautiful. Sooooo beautiful…

I have warm fuzzies. Don’t you?

I am so thankful for this life that God has given me. It’s pretty awesome.