I don’t want to blog.
I don’t want to write about how I haven’t lost any weight since last week, I actually gained a pound.
I don’t want to tell the world that today is the last day for me to be this age.
I don’t want to discuss the fact that my dog is still getting up in the middle of the night and last night he started barking and woke up the baby.
I really don’t want to complain about the fact that I haven’t been home long enough to clean my house in the last week a half.
I don’t want to admit to anyone how much I cried when I watched the Blind Side this weekend.
So instead, I am going to focus on things that other people ARE doing.
Other people are planning their next attack on a local meat department to save all the chubby girls.
Other people are still washing the fur out of their mouths.
Other people are planning their vacation to a most interesting theme park.
Other people are enjoying a perfect wave with their best pals.
Other people are rethinking their picks.
Just in case you were wondering...
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Monday, March 29, 2010
Get out of the doghouse! You are getting your pants dirty!
Wanna hear some drama?
Well, then read on, friends! We had a weekend packed full of it! I am absolutely exhausted from all of it. Some good, some bad, but all tiring. I guess this is what life with is like now, huh?
So…
Friday afternoon Techy called me with some news that he knew would set me off. Instead of our leisurely Friday evening that I had originally had planned, he had invited one of his best buds over to play video games all evening leaving me with no hubby face time as I had originally planned. Knowing that he was going to be gone all day on Saturday to his annual pyrotechnics training didn’t help anything. I was more than a little upset and we really got into it. I hate it when he does that and he doesn't understand why I would have a problem with it. And round and round we go.
Since Friday was shot before I even walked through the door, I opted to pack up Little Man and head over to my girlfriend’s house for some baby play time and girl talk. By the time I got home, it was time for the little guy to eat his bottle and head off to bed for the night.
Since Techy was gone all day Saturday, I filled the day with grocery shopping, errands, and a 2 year old’s birthday party. Can I just say, I was in a house full of little boys, and somehow I managed to escape without one bruise – quite a feat considering all the balls/bowling pins that were flying after the little guy opened his gifts. Sometime during the day while I was pining away for my hubby, he called.... We chatted for a few minutes and then he unloaded the bombshell of the day…he had booked 3 fireworks displays for 4th of July weekend this year. (You should know that there is some history with me and fireworks shows…I despise them when my hubby happens to be a shooter in one. Since the night that my husband, then boyfriend, first kissed me, we have never watched a fireworks display together because he has always been shooting them. I resent that A LOT. It takes an incredible amount of time away from our family time.) I was already complaining about and dreading the one show on the 4th, but then he tells me that he booked 2 others?! Lets just say I was ever so slightly irritated....
Sunday morning as we were packing up to head out the door to church, Techy, who has been working on a project for Sunday school by taking videos of our teens, asked me where my camera was. Since the last time I saw it was last week when he took it to Sunday school, I was concerned. Techy is infamous for losing/forgetting things. He has already lost this camera once last fall, and magically, we recovered it. But this time, I knew our chances were slim to none. We searched the house from top to bottom, we searched his car, we searched the Sunday school room, we searched our back yard, we searched our friends’ house, we searched their car.... The camera was no where to be found. We were sunk. We had invested a lot in this camera. The camera itself was almost $400, and last summer before we went on the cruise, Techy spent $200 for an underwater case that only fits that camera. Not to mention all the pictures of our baby boy that we can’t recover.
That was the straw that broke the camel's back. After that, we just chalked up the weekend as a bad one. We were both in a ridiculously bad mood and there was very little hope of recovery. After the irritation on Friday, irritation on Saturday and major irritation on Sunday, I was beyond beat.
And then the phone rang. Our friends who just had their baby last week were calling and wanting to know if we wanted to come visit. So we did....
And Techy took his camera (the new, really ridiculous, expensive, professional one) and we finally made some happy memories for this weekend. Like this one.
And this one
And I'm sorry, there is just something magical about a baby's toes...
And a little boy holding his mommy's hand...
Be still my heart!
Well, then read on, friends! We had a weekend packed full of it! I am absolutely exhausted from all of it. Some good, some bad, but all tiring. I guess this is what life with is like now, huh?
So…
Friday afternoon Techy called me with some news that he knew would set me off. Instead of our leisurely Friday evening that I had originally had planned, he had invited one of his best buds over to play video games all evening leaving me with no hubby face time as I had originally planned. Knowing that he was going to be gone all day on Saturday to his annual pyrotechnics training didn’t help anything. I was more than a little upset and we really got into it. I hate it when he does that and he doesn't understand why I would have a problem with it. And round and round we go.
Since Friday was shot before I even walked through the door, I opted to pack up Little Man and head over to my girlfriend’s house for some baby play time and girl talk. By the time I got home, it was time for the little guy to eat his bottle and head off to bed for the night.
Since Techy was gone all day Saturday, I filled the day with grocery shopping, errands, and a 2 year old’s birthday party. Can I just say, I was in a house full of little boys, and somehow I managed to escape without one bruise – quite a feat considering all the balls/bowling pins that were flying after the little guy opened his gifts. Sometime during the day while I was pining away for my hubby, he called.... We chatted for a few minutes and then he unloaded the bombshell of the day…he had booked 3 fireworks displays for 4th of July weekend this year. (You should know that there is some history with me and fireworks shows…I despise them when my hubby happens to be a shooter in one. Since the night that my husband, then boyfriend, first kissed me, we have never watched a fireworks display together because he has always been shooting them. I resent that A LOT. It takes an incredible amount of time away from our family time.) I was already complaining about and dreading the one show on the 4th, but then he tells me that he booked 2 others?! Lets just say I was ever so slightly irritated....
Sunday morning as we were packing up to head out the door to church, Techy, who has been working on a project for Sunday school by taking videos of our teens, asked me where my camera was. Since the last time I saw it was last week when he took it to Sunday school, I was concerned. Techy is infamous for losing/forgetting things. He has already lost this camera once last fall, and magically, we recovered it. But this time, I knew our chances were slim to none. We searched the house from top to bottom, we searched his car, we searched the Sunday school room, we searched our back yard, we searched our friends’ house, we searched their car.... The camera was no where to be found. We were sunk. We had invested a lot in this camera. The camera itself was almost $400, and last summer before we went on the cruise, Techy spent $200 for an underwater case that only fits that camera. Not to mention all the pictures of our baby boy that we can’t recover.
That was the straw that broke the camel's back. After that, we just chalked up the weekend as a bad one. We were both in a ridiculously bad mood and there was very little hope of recovery. After the irritation on Friday, irritation on Saturday and major irritation on Sunday, I was beyond beat.
And then the phone rang. Our friends who just had their baby last week were calling and wanting to know if we wanted to come visit. So we did....
And Techy took his camera (the new, really ridiculous, expensive, professional one) and we finally made some happy memories for this weekend. Like this one.
And this one
And I'm sorry, there is just something magical about a baby's toes...
And a little boy holding his mommy's hand...
Be still my heart!
Thursday, March 25, 2010
The beat goes on...
Workout update
Day 3 of work out resolution has commenced. I have been walking everyday this week and most days last week. (About 35 minutes/2.7 miles at the park) I did my concentrated workout (Slim in 6) on Tuesday and today. It’s only the beginner level, but it’s a 25 minute total body workout, and I don’t remember being this sore since the “Sweat N Chisel” class I was taking back in 2006…. The road to recovery is a very long road.
Last year when I stopped doing my hard core work outs, I was running 6 miles a day 5 days a week. (I did that until I was 6 weeks pregnant, and then morning sickness hit so hard that I couldn’t function. I was so sick during my first trimester that working out was pretty much impossible. I started walking during my lunch break when I hit 12 or 13 weeks and the constant nausea died down and continued walking 3 miles a day 3 days a week until Little Man arrived.) But it had taken me a long, long time to get to that point.
For now, I am going to enjoy the fact that I have 25 minutes to myself in the mornings to fit the workout in. In a few weeks, I am going to have to carve out 45 minutes for my workout and then the week after that is 60 minutes…. Most of my mom friends are back to running and planning to do a race sometime soon. I obviously won’t be able to train in time for this race, but I think come summer, I am going to start training for a 5 or 10k, as suggested yesterday. One of my girlfriends has been training for a 10k, and I think if I sweet talk her, I may be able to convince her to do one with me sometime this summer. Maybe I will even be able to talk some of my mom friends into joining in with us….
Baby update
Little Man is growing up! We weighed him the other night and he is weighing in at just over 14 lbs. which is almost double his birth weight. He hit the 12 week growth spurt a little early – last Thursday to be exact. It lasted about 2 days and then magically it was over. Since then, strange things have been happening. I started to notice that in the morning when I would try to feed him his first bottle, he didn’t really seem that into it. He wasn’t as hungry as he used to be. And during his dreamfeed (so named for the late night feeding during which most babies sleep while eating) that Techy has been feeding him at 10:30 pm, he was only taking about half the bottle. I had been feeding him 3 bottles in the evening to try to get him to sleep longer at night, but we decided to drop the dreamfeed last night. In turn, I expected him to be RAVENOUS this morning, but after 30 minutes of trying to feed him his 7 am bottle, he had only eaten 1 oz. I have no idea what’s going on. I have to venture over to the pro’s blog and try to figure it out.
Other stuff
The trees are blooming, flowers are growing, birds are singing and I am boycotting real shoes in favor of flip flops. I hate real shoes….
Tomorrow, I am venturing out to the grand and glorious DMV to renew my driver’s license. Lucky for me ALL 4 of Delaware’s DMV’s are being renovated and their website was kind enough to tell me what I can expect when I arrive. You have to check out Delaware’s amazing advances in technology as seen here. (Be sure to click each location’s link)
Isn’t that awesome?! A PDF with one sentence about where you can expect to be delayed due to their construction. I don’t know…what were you expecting? I was expecting maybe a newsletter with a diagram of the construction and before pictures with a sketch of the expected after, And maybe a “We are expecting to complete the construction by …” I love Delaware!
Speaking of Delaware and construction. Nevermind…I will save that for another day.
TTFN…Ta Ta For Now!
Day 3 of work out resolution has commenced. I have been walking everyday this week and most days last week. (About 35 minutes/2.7 miles at the park) I did my concentrated workout (Slim in 6) on Tuesday and today. It’s only the beginner level, but it’s a 25 minute total body workout, and I don’t remember being this sore since the “Sweat N Chisel” class I was taking back in 2006…. The road to recovery is a very long road.
Last year when I stopped doing my hard core work outs, I was running 6 miles a day 5 days a week. (I did that until I was 6 weeks pregnant, and then morning sickness hit so hard that I couldn’t function. I was so sick during my first trimester that working out was pretty much impossible. I started walking during my lunch break when I hit 12 or 13 weeks and the constant nausea died down and continued walking 3 miles a day 3 days a week until Little Man arrived.) But it had taken me a long, long time to get to that point.
For now, I am going to enjoy the fact that I have 25 minutes to myself in the mornings to fit the workout in. In a few weeks, I am going to have to carve out 45 minutes for my workout and then the week after that is 60 minutes…. Most of my mom friends are back to running and planning to do a race sometime soon. I obviously won’t be able to train in time for this race, but I think come summer, I am going to start training for a 5 or 10k, as suggested yesterday. One of my girlfriends has been training for a 10k, and I think if I sweet talk her, I may be able to convince her to do one with me sometime this summer. Maybe I will even be able to talk some of my mom friends into joining in with us….
Baby update
Little Man is growing up! We weighed him the other night and he is weighing in at just over 14 lbs. which is almost double his birth weight. He hit the 12 week growth spurt a little early – last Thursday to be exact. It lasted about 2 days and then magically it was over. Since then, strange things have been happening. I started to notice that in the morning when I would try to feed him his first bottle, he didn’t really seem that into it. He wasn’t as hungry as he used to be. And during his dreamfeed (so named for the late night feeding during which most babies sleep while eating) that Techy has been feeding him at 10:30 pm, he was only taking about half the bottle. I had been feeding him 3 bottles in the evening to try to get him to sleep longer at night, but we decided to drop the dreamfeed last night. In turn, I expected him to be RAVENOUS this morning, but after 30 minutes of trying to feed him his 7 am bottle, he had only eaten 1 oz. I have no idea what’s going on. I have to venture over to the pro’s blog and try to figure it out.
Other stuff
The trees are blooming, flowers are growing, birds are singing and I am boycotting real shoes in favor of flip flops. I hate real shoes….
Tomorrow, I am venturing out to the grand and glorious DMV to renew my driver’s license. Lucky for me ALL 4 of Delaware’s DMV’s are being renovated and their website was kind enough to tell me what I can expect when I arrive. You have to check out Delaware’s amazing advances in technology as seen here. (Be sure to click each location’s link)
Isn’t that awesome?! A PDF with one sentence about where you can expect to be delayed due to their construction. I don’t know…what were you expecting? I was expecting maybe a newsletter with a diagram of the construction and before pictures with a sketch of the expected after, And maybe a “We are expecting to complete the construction by …” I love Delaware!
Speaking of Delaware and construction. Nevermind…I will save that for another day.
TTFN…Ta Ta For Now!
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
The truth of it all...
If you know me, you probably know that I am not big on secrets. My life is an open book, and Techy is far worse than I am. We can keep secrets, but usually, I don’t unless it’s at the request of someone else.
I say that to preface what I am about to do. I am about to do something that is completely unheard of for women…I am about to tell you the biggest secret I have.
MY WEIGHT.
Before I got pregnant I weighed a healthy 135.
The day I had the little man, I tipped the scales at 188. I weighed more than the hubs! Total weight gain of 53 lbs.
When I got home from the hospital, I weighed 178.
In the past 3 months, I have lost 7 lbs.
I now weigh 171.2 lbs.
When I came home from the hospital, I was wearing a size 16-18.
I am now wearing a 14 comfortably, and a 12 uncomfortably. Before I got pregnant I was wearing an 8-10 comfortably.
You may ask why on earth I would reveal something so personal, but I am doing it with purpose. I need the accountability.
I have been eating as healthy as possible since I came home from the hospital, but since I am still lactating I have to keep my calorie count up, and eating low calorie foods has never been the key to my weight loss. Workouts have always been my #1 source of weight loss.
So this morning, after finally getting the baby and dog in sync with sleeping through the night, I managed to get a work out in. My goal is to track my progress over the next 7 weeks (until vacation) and see what if any I can lose between now and then. I plan to have my hubs take my measurements as well since that is a much more accurate showing than actual pounds lost for someone my size.
Wish me luck!
I say that to preface what I am about to do. I am about to do something that is completely unheard of for women…I am about to tell you the biggest secret I have.
MY WEIGHT.
Before I got pregnant I weighed a healthy 135.
The day I had the little man, I tipped the scales at 188. I weighed more than the hubs! Total weight gain of 53 lbs.
When I got home from the hospital, I weighed 178.
In the past 3 months, I have lost 7 lbs.
I now weigh 171.2 lbs.
When I came home from the hospital, I was wearing a size 16-18.
I am now wearing a 14 comfortably, and a 12 uncomfortably. Before I got pregnant I was wearing an 8-10 comfortably.
You may ask why on earth I would reveal something so personal, but I am doing it with purpose. I need the accountability.
I have been eating as healthy as possible since I came home from the hospital, but since I am still lactating I have to keep my calorie count up, and eating low calorie foods has never been the key to my weight loss. Workouts have always been my #1 source of weight loss.
So this morning, after finally getting the baby and dog in sync with sleeping through the night, I managed to get a work out in. My goal is to track my progress over the next 7 weeks (until vacation) and see what if any I can lose between now and then. I plan to have my hubs take my measurements as well since that is a much more accurate showing than actual pounds lost for someone my size.
Wish me luck!
Friday, March 19, 2010
Random facts
Well, I did a random thoughts a few weeks ago. Now I feel the urge to do a random facts about me post. Because life is random and weird things happen to me.
1. I hate the fact that I have had to buy fat summer clothes because I know I don’t have time to get back into my skinny summer clothes.
2. I am really stressed out right now. It’s just so hard to please everyone and I am tired of trying.
3. Baby Lady is amazing! I swear, I feel like she is an extension of my family. She loves Little Man to death, and I can't begin to tell you how awesome it is to have your child somewhere that you know he is receiving good care. Having her right around the corner is better than anything I could ever ask for. Except for maybe my own personal Magda….
4. When I was a teenager, my cousin, Jan, hired me to clean her house once a week and I was her on-call babysitter. It was my first job. It was one of the best relationships of my life. Jan is only 11 years older than me and has been a friend and mentor, even to this day – in spite of all the crazy stuff we've been through….
5. I once dated a pre-con. Weird thing is I also worked his trial 5+ years and -40 lbs later. Don’t ask what he was convicted of…. Just be thankful it didn’t work out. For the record, he was one of only 2 guys who ever broke up with me. And his method of breaking up was way worse than the other guy! He actually showed up where he knew I was waiting on him, with another girl sitting on his lap in his pick up truck, which in redneck language is practically engagement…. (Back in the day, I had a thing for rednecks.)
6. I heart Twilight! Tonight, the 2nd movie, New Moon, comes out on video, and I invited my adopted little sisters over to spend the night and watch it with me. The teeny-bopper inside is so excited! (Team Edward all the way)
7. My birthday is April Fool’s day. And yes, I get a lot of tricks played on me. The worst was my freshman year of college. The guy I was dating had paid a chap to fake “social” us. If you don’t know what that term means, it’s a long story. If you do, you went to PCC and know what a mean trick that was. If I could have slapped him, I would have, but then I would have been “socialed” for real...
8. In Old Hebrew, my name means, “Wild Cow”. Through the centuries, it has been reinterpreted to “cow-eyed”, reinterpreted again to “weary eyed”, and reinterpreted again to “weary”, but in Old (as in ancient) Hebrew, it means “Wild Cow”. Check it out here. Pretty crazy, huh?
9. I am very lucky to have a sister-in-law, who is also my friend. I won’t expand on this since I have learned that to expand could offend someone, but trust me when I say I am lucky.
10. I enjoy cleaning bathrooms because it doesn’t take long to tell a difference.
11. I love riding down the road with my windows open blaring a feel good, summertime tune.
12. My childhood is made up of humorous memories, many of which involve fighting with my sister. 2 memories stick out – one of almost getting suspended from our Christian school for dragging her down the hall by a bookbag and another of getting knocked over the head with a croquet mallot.
I guess that's enough for now.
1. I hate the fact that I have had to buy fat summer clothes because I know I don’t have time to get back into my skinny summer clothes.
2. I am really stressed out right now. It’s just so hard to please everyone and I am tired of trying.
3. Baby Lady is amazing! I swear, I feel like she is an extension of my family. She loves Little Man to death, and I can't begin to tell you how awesome it is to have your child somewhere that you know he is receiving good care. Having her right around the corner is better than anything I could ever ask for. Except for maybe my own personal Magda….
4. When I was a teenager, my cousin, Jan, hired me to clean her house once a week and I was her on-call babysitter. It was my first job. It was one of the best relationships of my life. Jan is only 11 years older than me and has been a friend and mentor, even to this day – in spite of all the crazy stuff we've been through….
5. I once dated a pre-con. Weird thing is I also worked his trial 5+ years and -40 lbs later. Don’t ask what he was convicted of…. Just be thankful it didn’t work out. For the record, he was one of only 2 guys who ever broke up with me. And his method of breaking up was way worse than the other guy! He actually showed up where he knew I was waiting on him, with another girl sitting on his lap in his pick up truck, which in redneck language is practically engagement…. (Back in the day, I had a thing for rednecks.)
6. I heart Twilight! Tonight, the 2nd movie, New Moon, comes out on video, and I invited my adopted little sisters over to spend the night and watch it with me. The teeny-bopper inside is so excited! (Team Edward all the way)
7. My birthday is April Fool’s day. And yes, I get a lot of tricks played on me. The worst was my freshman year of college. The guy I was dating had paid a chap to fake “social” us. If you don’t know what that term means, it’s a long story. If you do, you went to PCC and know what a mean trick that was. If I could have slapped him, I would have, but then I would have been “socialed” for real...
8. In Old Hebrew, my name means, “Wild Cow”. Through the centuries, it has been reinterpreted to “cow-eyed”, reinterpreted again to “weary eyed”, and reinterpreted again to “weary”, but in Old (as in ancient) Hebrew, it means “Wild Cow”. Check it out here. Pretty crazy, huh?
9. I am very lucky to have a sister-in-law, who is also my friend. I won’t expand on this since I have learned that to expand could offend someone, but trust me when I say I am lucky.
10. I enjoy cleaning bathrooms because it doesn’t take long to tell a difference.
11. I love riding down the road with my windows open blaring a feel good, summertime tune.
12. My childhood is made up of humorous memories, many of which involve fighting with my sister. 2 memories stick out – one of almost getting suspended from our Christian school for dragging her down the hall by a bookbag and another of getting knocked over the head with a croquet mallot.
I guess that's enough for now.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
In place
So I have been thinking alot lately and doing alot of self examination tempered by even more prayer. I am learning alot about who I am and who God made me to be. A few things I have learned:
1. I am a missionary
You may or may not know that my junior year of college, I surrendered my life to God. I wanted to be a missionary and my entire senior year I asked God to open or close doors as he saw fit, but I wanted to be a missionary to Uganda. Unfortunately, God never opened that door for me. Instead he made me a missionary to Delaware. I am not the kind of missionary that you traditionally think of, though. I do not work in the ministry full time, but that does not mean that God is not using me to accomplish his will and spread his message. I am doing what he has called me to do. I have the job he wants me to have. I am a mommy to the son that he gave me and a wife to the husband he gave me. I am a Sunday school teacher and (hopefully) a mentor in the ministry that he has placed me in. I may not be perfect, but I am positive that I am right where God wants me to be doing what God wants me to be doing. And isn't that what being a missionary is all about? Standing in the gap that God puts you in and ministering to the people He places in your way?
2. I am extremely weak
Physically, emotionally, and especially spiritually. I complain, I gossip, I judge - I fail constantly. And yet...
3. I am really prideful.
Don't ask me what I have to be so proud of....
4. I am a coat-tail rider
This is a startling revelation to me. I have been thinking/praying through alot lately and I realized that my dream has never been to overcome all the challenges and be the front-runner of anything. When I imagine grand things for me, I imagine myself being the right hand support for said front-runner. Over the years, Techy has dabbled in fixing computers on the side, and I always daydream about him creating his own company with me as his administrative/clerical sidekick. Isn't that sad? That's what I day dream about.... I almost want to laugh or cry or something. If life were "Survivor", I would be Natalie from last season (only I wouldn't win a million dollars for my coat-tail riding abilities)
5. I fit where God wants me to fit.
Why is it that those who want so badly to fit in never do and those who don't care do? Imagine a short, fat girl, frizzy haired girl with giant, round blue rimmed glasses in a long jumper and then you will have a somewhat clear image of what I looked like in middle/high school. Then imagine her going off to college in the same long denim jumper (only it was tighter because I gained weight post-graduation due to some boy drama) with slightly shorter, frizzier hair and blue eyeliner. It should be no surprise that I did not fit in with the "In" crowd at all. But the frizzy-headed girl grew up, lost the glasses, ditched the extra weight(then put it back on post-baby) with high expectations of being welcomed to the "In" crowd with open arms...never happened.
Now imagine a skinny, short, teenage boy who looked like he was still 12 years old, who loved video games, computers, and explosives, now mix in a little "I don't care if anybody likes me, I like everyone!" attitude and you will meet one of the most popular people I know - my hubby. In college he quickly rounded out and aged slightly, but he still has a baby face and he never got any taller than 5'10", he isn't into athletics, and he doesn't care to be. He doesn't need to fit in and yet.... Techy could never return phone calls, never check messages, forget names, forget faces, right down to completely avoiding someone, and people still flock to him. (Probably because of that "I like EVERYONE!" attitude....)
Luckily, I have always been blessed with solid friends to get me to the next stage, whether they be best friends to weather the storms with or my mom (who, by the way, is one of the best friends I could ever ask for), there has always been someone to lean on. Not to mention Techy, who is the bestest friend/love of my life that I could ever ask for. With all that, I am doing way better than the "In" crowd!
6. I am exactly where God wants me to be for now.
You may think this is totally bizarre when I tell you how I know this. A while ago, I was going through a very rough phase. Techy and I had been married for several years and although our marriage was fantastic, I was feeling very alone, very unfulfilled in ministry, unfulfilled in my job, just not right. I remember the night that I hit my breaking point…we were on our way to a Christian concert with some friends. I had been praying all afternoon about the situation. On the way, I started to voice my concern to the hubs. As is common, he was completely oblivious to my feelings, but we decided we would pray about it.
We got lost on the way and ended up being late to the concert, but when we walked in the gates, the song the artist was playing stopped me in my tracks. “Greater things have yet to come and greater things are still to be done in this city”. Being the emotional wreck that I am, I burst into tears. I call it a God moment, when God moves everything to speak to me…it has happened a couple times in my life and I am telling you it’s incredible. Whenever I start to feel that old itch kick up, I start praying for God to show me where he wants me to be, and you wouldn’t believe how often that song ends up on the radio or in a video at church…. For right now, I can tell you that I am where he wants me to be. Who knows what the upcoming weeks/months may bring, but for now, I am in my place and in position. And I am happy with that!
1. I am a missionary
You may or may not know that my junior year of college, I surrendered my life to God. I wanted to be a missionary and my entire senior year I asked God to open or close doors as he saw fit, but I wanted to be a missionary to Uganda. Unfortunately, God never opened that door for me. Instead he made me a missionary to Delaware. I am not the kind of missionary that you traditionally think of, though. I do not work in the ministry full time, but that does not mean that God is not using me to accomplish his will and spread his message. I am doing what he has called me to do. I have the job he wants me to have. I am a mommy to the son that he gave me and a wife to the husband he gave me. I am a Sunday school teacher and (hopefully) a mentor in the ministry that he has placed me in. I may not be perfect, but I am positive that I am right where God wants me to be doing what God wants me to be doing. And isn't that what being a missionary is all about? Standing in the gap that God puts you in and ministering to the people He places in your way?
2. I am extremely weak
Physically, emotionally, and especially spiritually. I complain, I gossip, I judge - I fail constantly. And yet...
3. I am really prideful.
Don't ask me what I have to be so proud of....
4. I am a coat-tail rider
This is a startling revelation to me. I have been thinking/praying through alot lately and I realized that my dream has never been to overcome all the challenges and be the front-runner of anything. When I imagine grand things for me, I imagine myself being the right hand support for said front-runner. Over the years, Techy has dabbled in fixing computers on the side, and I always daydream about him creating his own company with me as his administrative/clerical sidekick. Isn't that sad? That's what I day dream about.... I almost want to laugh or cry or something. If life were "Survivor", I would be Natalie from last season (only I wouldn't win a million dollars for my coat-tail riding abilities)
5. I fit where God wants me to fit.
Why is it that those who want so badly to fit in never do and those who don't care do? Imagine a short, fat girl, frizzy haired girl with giant, round blue rimmed glasses in a long jumper and then you will have a somewhat clear image of what I looked like in middle/high school. Then imagine her going off to college in the same long denim jumper (only it was tighter because I gained weight post-graduation due to some boy drama) with slightly shorter, frizzier hair and blue eyeliner. It should be no surprise that I did not fit in with the "In" crowd at all. But the frizzy-headed girl grew up, lost the glasses, ditched the extra weight(then put it back on post-baby) with high expectations of being welcomed to the "In" crowd with open arms...never happened.
Now imagine a skinny, short, teenage boy who looked like he was still 12 years old, who loved video games, computers, and explosives, now mix in a little "I don't care if anybody likes me, I like everyone!" attitude and you will meet one of the most popular people I know - my hubby. In college he quickly rounded out and aged slightly, but he still has a baby face and he never got any taller than 5'10", he isn't into athletics, and he doesn't care to be. He doesn't need to fit in and yet.... Techy could never return phone calls, never check messages, forget names, forget faces, right down to completely avoiding someone, and people still flock to him. (Probably because of that "I like EVERYONE!" attitude....)
Luckily, I have always been blessed with solid friends to get me to the next stage, whether they be best friends to weather the storms with or my mom (who, by the way, is one of the best friends I could ever ask for), there has always been someone to lean on. Not to mention Techy, who is the bestest friend/love of my life that I could ever ask for. With all that, I am doing way better than the "In" crowd!
6. I am exactly where God wants me to be for now.
You may think this is totally bizarre when I tell you how I know this. A while ago, I was going through a very rough phase. Techy and I had been married for several years and although our marriage was fantastic, I was feeling very alone, very unfulfilled in ministry, unfulfilled in my job, just not right. I remember the night that I hit my breaking point…we were on our way to a Christian concert with some friends. I had been praying all afternoon about the situation. On the way, I started to voice my concern to the hubs. As is common, he was completely oblivious to my feelings, but we decided we would pray about it.
We got lost on the way and ended up being late to the concert, but when we walked in the gates, the song the artist was playing stopped me in my tracks. “Greater things have yet to come and greater things are still to be done in this city”. Being the emotional wreck that I am, I burst into tears. I call it a God moment, when God moves everything to speak to me…it has happened a couple times in my life and I am telling you it’s incredible. Whenever I start to feel that old itch kick up, I start praying for God to show me where he wants me to be, and you wouldn’t believe how often that song ends up on the radio or in a video at church…. For right now, I can tell you that I am where he wants me to be. Who knows what the upcoming weeks/months may bring, but for now, I am in my place and in position. And I am happy with that!
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Overdue and Overweight
Today is my friend Rachel’s due date. They are expecting their own Little Man anytime now. Don’t worry, I gave her the laundry list of things she needed to know pre-baby. When I talked to her hubby this morning, he indicated that she is still having no signs of labor and she is terribly uncomfortable and anxious for her little guy to arrive. Poor girl…I remember those feelings all too well.
Lucky for her, she is one of those people who will probably leave the hospital in her pre-pregnancy jeans.
I, on the other hand, still can’t fit into my pre-pregnancy jeans. I am actually about 4 sizes and 35 lbs bigger than I was when I got pregnant.
On that note, this weekend, Techy, out of the goodness of his heart, bought wii fit for us. He was so excited! As soon as we got home, he had to hook it up and try it out. He registered himself and just as expected, it told him that he was slightly overweight and he should lose about 10 lbs.
He couldn’t be satisfied if I didn’t try it out too.
As I stepped on the balance board and registered myself, the oh-so-friendly, ever-helpful, sweet little-device practically screamed at me. I am pretty sure lights and sirens were going off in my house… If it had spoken audibly, it would have said something along the lines of “Get off of me, Lard Butt, and go run a few miles before even thinking about stepping on me again!”
According to my Wii Fit, I am (get ready for this) OBESE….
Oh the sheer awfulness of it all.
To make it worse, my mii morphed in front of my eyes. It went from being this way cute little mii, to this short, round stub of a mii. Now I feel like I need to lose weight in order to use my Wii Fit to lose weight.
To beat it all, I feel the need to explain to my Wii Fit that I just had a baby and I am working on losing the weight, but my baby just started to sleep through the night….
Too bad it doesn’t care.
Lucky for her, she is one of those people who will probably leave the hospital in her pre-pregnancy jeans.
I, on the other hand, still can’t fit into my pre-pregnancy jeans. I am actually about 4 sizes and 35 lbs bigger than I was when I got pregnant.
On that note, this weekend, Techy, out of the goodness of his heart, bought wii fit for us. He was so excited! As soon as we got home, he had to hook it up and try it out. He registered himself and just as expected, it told him that he was slightly overweight and he should lose about 10 lbs.
He couldn’t be satisfied if I didn’t try it out too.
As I stepped on the balance board and registered myself, the oh-so-friendly, ever-helpful, sweet little-device practically screamed at me. I am pretty sure lights and sirens were going off in my house… If it had spoken audibly, it would have said something along the lines of “Get off of me, Lard Butt, and go run a few miles before even thinking about stepping on me again!”
According to my Wii Fit, I am (get ready for this) OBESE….
Oh the sheer awfulness of it all.
To make it worse, my mii morphed in front of my eyes. It went from being this way cute little mii, to this short, round stub of a mii. Now I feel like I need to lose weight in order to use my Wii Fit to lose weight.
To beat it all, I feel the need to explain to my Wii Fit that I just had a baby and I am working on losing the weight, but my baby just started to sleep through the night….
Too bad it doesn’t care.
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