Lifestyles of a Domestic Goddess

Today.was.amazing.

It started at 4 am, when my dog hopped out of bed, paced up and down the hall a few times, before I caught him popping a squat at the end of the hallway and *ahem* doing his business.

Lucky for him I was too hazy to realize what he was doing and I just chased him back to bed. 

And at 6:30 when the baby-alarm a.k.a. teething toddler started her "I'm awake and can't find my paci" cry, I managed to be in and out of her room and back in bed in less than 30 seconds.

And 5 minutes later, when the 3 year old started screaming "MOMMY, CAN I WAKE UP NOW?  THE SUN IS UPPPPPPPPPPPPP!" I somehow still managed to go back to sleep after throwing the iPad at him and turning on his favorite PBS show.

But once Techy's alarm started it's 7:30 wake up call it was all over. 

"HELLO, TODAY IS JULY 29, 2012.  IT IS 7:31 AM AND THE TEMPERATURE IS 68 DEGREES FARENHEIT.  THE HIGH IS EXPECTED TO BE 86 DEGREES WITH A LOW OF 66.  YOU HAVE 7 EVENTS ON YOUR CALENDAR."

Let me just say.  I hate that computer generated wake up call. 

I much prefer the screaming baby or dog standing on my chest any day.

And typically, since one or both of those are happening well before 6 am, it's not a problem.

But today was the blissful exception.

Today, I completely defied the odds and managed to sleep longer than my allotted 4 hours.

And then I managed to completely blow things out of the water when I put away all the laundry that I folded last night.

On any typical Monday morning, that basket would have been dodged and left sitting there for more than 3 or 4 days before getting thrown back in the laundry because it smelled like taco meat or bacon.

But not today.

Today, I CONQUERED that laundry basket!

Today, I liberated more than a dozen pair of socks.

Not to mention all those unmentionables.

I AM QUEEN OF THE WORLD!

To further make you question the likelihood of my body being invaded by an alien, I still managed to bake 2 loaves of zucchini bread, prep a meatloaf, and do 2 loads of laundry before noon.

On the downside, I didn't put a bra on until 3 pm.

And at least once during the course of my day I had to explain why corn was in the Little Man's poo.

And my living room currently looks like Hiroshima - the after, not the before.

You're jealous, right?

You know how we all think the Real Housewives have the most enviable life ever?

I beg to differ.

THIS.IS.THE.LIFE.

(ps. Like the new looks of the place?  Special thanks to my friend, Kelsea over at Overwhelmed by Grace for all the hard work!!!)