Our (soon-to-be-slippery) Slope

If you had the opportunity to spend $5,000 on your house, what would you do?

Maybe, like me, you would do something about those ghastly countertops that are the color of cement and dried blood, but not nearly as sturdy and have swelled bowed at the seams....

Maybe you would, like me, would do something about the ridiculous backsplash that is the color of your grandma's orange shag carpet from the 60's.

Or maybe, you like me have a bigger unsightly issue from a shower that rains in your kitchen.

And let's not even talk about that hideous ceiling fan from 1992 that's hanging out in my kitchen. 

Because in reality, I have bigger problems than hideous countertops.

Bigger even than the orange Brady Bunch backsplash.

And yes, even bigger than an outdated ceiling fan that's been used all of 2 times and a shower that leaks into my kitchen.

Because you see, I have a BIGG.ER problem.

Let's play "Where's Waldo" for a minute and see if YOU can spot the problem.

What?  No idea, you say?

Hint: Check out the "Leaning Freezer of Pizza".

Something tells me that freezers aren't supposed to lean like a drunken sailor on shore leave while standing.

Woe beyond woes!

Our garage is sinking! 

Or rather, half of our garage is sinking!

That pretty little crack runs the full length of our garage. 

Since just after we moved in, Techy's side of the garage has sunk approximately 4 inches. 

When we first moved in, we had to keep a 2 x 4 under the stairs, but since then, things have gone a little extreme.

So yes, not only will Techy and I be spending a nice chunk of change to resolve this issue, but I will be spending money that I COULD BE using on beautiful new granite countertops and a recycled glass tile backsplash.  I will likely be using the awesome $100 True Value gift card that I just won from Joey and Lana that was going to be used for my gorgeous foyer overhaul.  And I will likely be getting a new garage floor as a Christmas present this year.

And let's not even talk about our cruise that we wanted to go on next year....

And so you know, I am not complaining so much as attempting to find joy in the opportunity to purchase a new garage floor and desperately hoping you can help me find it. 

Thanks!