Helpful How-to: Throwing a Baby Shower

Believe it or not, I have a friend who planned a mean bridal shower for one of our friends, but when it came time for the baby shower, threw up her hands and said, "I don't know what to do for a baby shower!  I have never been to one!"

After I picked my jaw up off the floor, I took out a sheet of notebook paper and made a list for her.

I will admit that no baby shower that I have thrown has ever been reminiscent of anything Bethenny Frankel threw for herself, but my book never hit the New York Times best sellers list, either.

So what?

Does that mean people won't have fun?

I'm sorry, but the last time you invited a group of women to catfight over word search to win the tiniest bottle of lotion you have ever seen and eat cake after some delicious hors' douvres, did anyone say they didn't have a wonderful time?

That's what I thought.

Women + baby themed games + prizes + cake = reasons to ditch your manicure at least one Saturday out of every month.

And let's face it, wouldn't most of us drop anything for a piece of cake?

Now on to that tutorial...

1.  Cake.

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Clearly, as stated above, no baby shower would be complete without a cake.  This is the most important item of the day.  The bigger, the better.  Spread the bald-faced lie rumor that Duff may be behind your culinary creation,

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and mommy-to-be will think she is the most popular girl of all time.

2.  Games.
These are only necessary if, in fact, you opt to not do mani's, pedi's, and massages for all guests at the spa as a certain (previously named) celebrity mom recently did.

As far as games go, the crossword puzzles have been done, the word searches have been crossed through, and the Don't-Say-Baby game has been played out.*  If your baby shower games are going to rock you need memorable games.  If you want people talking about this shower for ages to come, you need a fresher game.  Or maybe a less fresh game....  Every heard of "What's in the diaper?"  Google baby shower games with that title and see what you come up with.**

Or there's always the favorite, "Name that Baby Food".***

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And we could never forget the all time favorite, "Guess Mommy's Circumference".****

(That's me.  At my shower.  No credit necessary.  But look how HUGE that belly was!)

These games are sure to leave your guests remembering your shower for a long time to come.  And don't worry, cake will soothe anyone who may have been slightly off-put by your game choices.

3.  Gifts.
Ok, next to cake, this is 2nd most important rule for a baby shower.  As planner of the shower, you have alot invested here.  And once you know the #3 rule for an amazing baby shower, you will have even more invested.  Because, you see, it is your job as the shower planner to purchase the baby momma's most amazing gift of the day.

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This usually means that you will have everyone you know, including but not limited to your coworkers that baby momma has never actually met, contributing to the most expensive gift item on the registry.  That's right.  Be prepared to outdo all grandmother's, all aunts, all great aunts, and all sisters.  THIS IS YOUR DUTY.
And if you start to panic about the interest you are going to roll onto your credit card with said purchase, calm yourself with the largest, corner slice of cake you can get your hands on.  It works like magic.  Trust me.

4.  Favors.
A good favor is something that leaves everyone at the shower happy that they came.  In my book, it could be as simple as a slice of cake for the road.  (MMMMMMMM, cake....)

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(Thank you, I will take the whole thing...)

However, for most, something a little more meaningful (read, expensive) is required.  But since I am still too distracted thinking about eating cake, I will have to refer you to a site like this, or this.  And you can just leave me with the cake, ok?

See how easy that was?  I mean, 4 easy steps.

Aren't you glad you asked me for help?

Wait?  What?  You didn't?

You don't really care about my love affair with buttercream and flour?

Credit (Did I mention I like cake?)

And you don't have a baby momma to plan a shower for?

Don't worry.  One day you probably will.  And on that day you will be thankful that you read this post.

Until then, should you see me near a cake of any kind, you should probably steer clear.
Lest you end up like a drunken matador in a bull fight.

Don't say you haven't been warned...



*In reality, I love nothing more than crossword puzzles, word searches, and if you could find a baby themed sudoku puzzle, I would be thrilled.  So do what I say, not as I do.

**I am pretty much the only person I know who really loves this game.  Like really, really loves.  But probably because it's as close as I get to candy bars these days.

***There is nothing better to prep a woman's palette for cake as bland, boiled, mushy carrots.  Yumm-O!

****No, really.  There is nothing baby momma's love more than the prospect of having everyone she knows guessing how "big around" she is.  Except maybe cake.