Friday, April 23, 2010

In the city of the land of Oz

Just so credit goes where it is due, I stole the title from my girlfriend. The girlfriend that I desperately tried to go visit last night. Who lives in the city. (Who will probably be appalled that I called her a girlfriend, so old-school of me!)

Originally, we were going to work out together, but then we opted for a quick visit and tour of her new home, which she has somehow lived in for almost 6 months without me being over to visit. I realize what a very bad friend I am. Extremely self absorbed with my new baby and whatnot. But no excuses….

Anyway, I got home from work, printed off directions to her house and headed out with Little Man in tow. I am always intimidated of the city, being such a country bumpkin, so I took a good look at the map before heading out. Didn’t look too difficult, so I figured I would be ok.

When I got off at her exit, I quickly remembered why I am so intimidated of the city.

A DEFINITE LACK OF STREET SIGNS.
Seriously. Making a left at W. Union Street is a little difficult when there is no street sign for W. Union Street. Need I say more?

Probably not, but I will.

ONE WAY STREETS.
I finally find the street I am supposed to make a right turn on and it is a one way street going left only. Nice. Somewhere in this city, I am supposed to be able to make a right on this street.

And one more thing

POP-UP GHETTO’S
How do you go from way cute houses to slums in one block? For real? How does that happen? I thought I was going to die. And there are freaking stop signs everywhere. And every time you stop people are walking up to your car, in front of your car, around your car…. I was so afraid I was going to end up in some bad car jacking gone wrong. And with the baby in tow. I was a nervous wreck.

Finally, I found a road I recognized and I made the turn trying to get back around to a nice section of town. But I couldn’t get over far enough and somehow ended up back on the interstate. In wall to wall traffic. With no exits for 2-3 miles. Nice.

And this, my friends, is why I don’t go to the city. Ever. And our city isn’t even that big a city. I am way rural. Like Beverly Hillbillies Rural.

But I will go back.

After I buy myself a GPS with a setting for “No Pop-up Ghettos”

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