Crying without the tears

As I stated previously, of late my life has been a storm of dirty diapers, midnight feedings, minimal naps, and tons and tons of visitors. All well meaning, all full of love, generosity, friendliness, concern and all greatly appreciated. But can I just say...it is so hard to be a new mommy with people constantly on your doorstep.

For those of you who are expecting in the next few months, no one warned me about the onslaught of visitors. Or maybe they did and I didn't understand. For the record, you need to know that after you deliver your precious little bundle of joy, everyone who has been a part of your pregnancy, all the people who care about you and love you will want to be there to love on your new little one. It's so tough. You will want these people to be there and to be involved. I, personally, miss my friends. I want to see them and I want to spend time with them. But lots of people don't understand the concept of timed feedings and schedules. If you are planning to schedule your baby, visitors are a factor to take into account. Let me reiterate - it isn't a bad thing, but it is something you will need to take into account when planning your day to day, hour to hour activities.

Obviously, I am breastfeeding, and that adds a whole different set of complications to the mess. Had I been bottle feeding, visitors would not have been such a complication. I mean, in that case, I could have thrown my baby and the bottle at the visitor and tell them when to burp the little guy. But if you are going to breastfeed or you have breastfed, you probably understand that unless you feel comfortable enough around your visitors to just whip out the "nip" in front of anyone, you will have to try to hide your engorged boob and nipple behind a blanket that is probably far too small to accomplish that task.

(For those of you who think you would not be phased by the sight of me breastfeeding, don't speak so soon. You don't understand the size of these things. All I am going to say is that hiding behind the blanket is as much for your benefit as mine.)

Anyway, the blanket situation only serves to make the Little Man so pissed off that before you know it he is flailing his arms like a bird trying to take flight and jerking his head around in what we have fondly termed "Poltergeist Head". (To help you visualize - the little head bobs in all directions face scrunches up and turns an odd shade of reddish purple, and the little mouth is wide open with the tongue clicking around searching for its intended nutritive source - all the while, Little Man screams profusely, frustrated by the lack of immediate satisfaction)

That being said, I cannot wait for life to calm down a little. I can't wait to have my boobs back to myself. I can't wait to be able to leave a room without checking the baby monitor a thousand times a minute. And I can't wait to see people again.

If you are reading this and have been or want to be a visitor to us, please know that this is not a complaint against your visit. I relish the opportunity to see you again and catch up on life, BUT be aware of my own personal terror at the possibility of you catching a glimpse of my enormous udders. I may not be able to look you in the eye again.

Now allow me some bragging ground.... For all the lack of personal space these days, this Little Man is totally worth it!