Hoping for the best.
But it's been 2 hrs of irregular contractions....
So I don't have my hopes up.
Today I'm here to talk about something (other than poop and marker lids) that is stealing my sanity.
Only imagine with me an adorable rental with horrid wood paneling and only 2 real bedrooms. (It has a 3rd, but with 2 doorways and only one door, its really more if a hallway with a closet. And an air mattress for your guests.... And no room for your newborn.
Which is totally fine since the first 10 weeks will be spent in a bassinet anyway, right?
Until you realize that nesting is natural. And I have no outlet for all the nesting that is bottled up in me right now.
Thankfully, there's pinterest...
To be honest, I'm not sure which is worse. Actual nesting or pinterest nesting....
After such a short time of being home with Little Man, there are a few things I've picked up on pretty quickly.
1. My child is very hands on.
Everything is, "mommy, come here." Or "mommy, roll it." Or worst of all, "mommy, hot dog dance!"
Have I mentioned I'm about 9 months pregnant and agility, including hot dog dancing, is not only uncomfortable, but almost impossible.
But does that mean I don't try?
Not a chance!!!
Momma has a mean hot dog dance.
2. My child is obsessed with having a marker in his hand. But he is constantly losing the lids. And I'm a bit ocd. Needless to say, I'm losing my mind.
Along with markers.
3. This kid is incredibly fascinated with bodily functions-even if he can't tell them apart. "Pee pee" and "poo poo" are commonly confused...which leads me to my next point...
4. It is surprisingly possible to have a 2 poop crisis day.
Including but not limited to an attempt to "go potty" that mommy confused for a "go pee pee" that resulted in a poop down the leg, all over our pants and in the socks situation, which could only be eclipsed by the ever impressive tub-floater happening later in the day.
Allow me to say that nothing freaks mommy out quite like her child swimming in his own feces.
Let's just say it's more than a little surprising that the neighbors didn't break down the door, considering all the screaming....
5. Melt downs still happen. And not just in the privacy of our own home.
6. The kid is obsessed with trains, so at 4 am when the train cruises by our house and wakes him up, he is not only not upset, but he begins a rolling dialogue about said choo choo to no one in particular. This dialogue can last for minutes or hours, depending on his ability to find something in his crib that can be imagined to be a choo choo. I am obviously impressed, but 4 am is not really the time of day I would choose to discuss the Awesomeness of choo choo trains. Odd mother I am, huh?
7. Puke happens. And when it does, you may or may not spend the next 3 days trying to figure out what that smell is and how to get rid of it. Until you remember....
8. Nap time is always 10 minutes shorter than you needed it to be.
9. A 2 year old can survive on chicken "uggets" alone. And he may actually CHOOSE to survive on chicken "uggets" alone. Whether you like it or not....
10. Almost all things can be cured with an episode of Mickey. Yes, I've been reduced to luring my child into good behavior with the promise of Mickey Mouse....
And it works.
You can judge me if you like.
It's been 3 days of being home full time.
And here I sit in my bathrobe and my slippers.
In my defense, not much else fits me, and the things that do are in the dryer....
The most successful thing I've done in the last 3 days was making sausage balls.
First time ever.
But I've also done 3 loads of laundry, worked out every day, cleaned up a pool of puke, hung curtains and blinds in almost all the rooms in this temporary home (our neighbors must be so relieved) been to about 45 doctor appointments, and clipped coupons until my fingers fell off.
Do you know how difficult it is to type with your nose?
Ok, I'll drop it.
It wasn't that funny, anyway.
Apparently, while I have been busy "staying home", big things are happening out there in the world like football games, and something called SOPA/PIPA, not to mention some Republican debate wherein Newt Gingrich got all feisty on a race-bent question . This I know ONLY because of Facebook.
Feel free to mock me. At this rate I am mocking myself.
I have had a ton of goals for the week, but everytime I go to do something I end up having contractions and have to stop.
Baby steps, people. And self mockery.
These are the things my life is thriving on.
And the knowledge that it won't be much longer until my life really goes nuts!