I don’t want to blog.
I don’t want to write about how I haven’t lost any weight since last week, I actually gained a pound.
I don’t want to tell the world that today is the last day for me to be this age.
I don’t want to discuss the fact that my dog is still getting up in the middle of the night and last night he started barking and woke up the baby.
I really don’t want to complain about the fact that I haven’t been home long enough to clean my house in the last week a half.
I don’t want to admit to anyone how much I cried when I watched the Blind Side this weekend.
So instead, I am going to focus on things that other people ARE doing.
Other people are planning their next attack on a local meat department to save all the chubby girls.
Other people are still washing the fur out of their mouths.
Other people are planning their vacation to a most interesting theme park.
Other people are enjoying a perfect wave with their best pals.
Other people are rethinking their picks.
Just in case you were wondering...
Wednesday, March 31, 2010
Monday, March 29, 2010
Get out of the doghouse! You are getting your pants dirty!
Wanna hear some drama?
Well, then read on, friends! We had a weekend packed full of it! I am absolutely exhausted from all of it. Some good, some bad, but all tiring. I guess this is what life with is like now, huh?
So…
Friday afternoon Techy called me with some news that he knew would set me off. Instead of our leisurely Friday evening that I had originally had planned, he had invited one of his best buds over to play video games all evening leaving me with no hubby face time as I had originally planned. Knowing that he was going to be gone all day on Saturday to his annual pyrotechnics training didn’t help anything. I was more than a little upset and we really got into it. I hate it when he does that and he doesn't understand why I would have a problem with it. And round and round we go.
Since Friday was shot before I even walked through the door, I opted to pack up Little Man and head over to my girlfriend’s house for some baby play time and girl talk. By the time I got home, it was time for the little guy to eat his bottle and head off to bed for the night.
Since Techy was gone all day Saturday, I filled the day with grocery shopping, errands, and a 2 year old’s birthday party. Can I just say, I was in a house full of little boys, and somehow I managed to escape without one bruise – quite a feat considering all the balls/bowling pins that were flying after the little guy opened his gifts. Sometime during the day while I was pining away for my hubby, he called.... We chatted for a few minutes and then he unloaded the bombshell of the day…he had booked 3 fireworks displays for 4th of July weekend this year. (You should know that there is some history with me and fireworks shows…I despise them when my hubby happens to be a shooter in one. Since the night that my husband, then boyfriend, first kissed me, we have never watched a fireworks display together because he has always been shooting them. I resent that A LOT. It takes an incredible amount of time away from our family time.) I was already complaining about and dreading the one show on the 4th, but then he tells me that he booked 2 others?! Lets just say I was ever so slightly irritated....
Sunday morning as we were packing up to head out the door to church, Techy, who has been working on a project for Sunday school by taking videos of our teens, asked me where my camera was. Since the last time I saw it was last week when he took it to Sunday school, I was concerned. Techy is infamous for losing/forgetting things. He has already lost this camera once last fall, and magically, we recovered it. But this time, I knew our chances were slim to none. We searched the house from top to bottom, we searched his car, we searched the Sunday school room, we searched our back yard, we searched our friends’ house, we searched their car.... The camera was no where to be found. We were sunk. We had invested a lot in this camera. The camera itself was almost $400, and last summer before we went on the cruise, Techy spent $200 for an underwater case that only fits that camera. Not to mention all the pictures of our baby boy that we can’t recover.
That was the straw that broke the camel's back. After that, we just chalked up the weekend as a bad one. We were both in a ridiculously bad mood and there was very little hope of recovery. After the irritation on Friday, irritation on Saturday and major irritation on Sunday, I was beyond beat.
And then the phone rang. Our friends who just had their baby last week were calling and wanting to know if we wanted to come visit. So we did....
And Techy took his camera (the new, really ridiculous, expensive, professional one) and we finally made some happy memories for this weekend. Like this one.
And this one
And I'm sorry, there is just something magical about a baby's toes...
And a little boy holding his mommy's hand...
Be still my heart!
Well, then read on, friends! We had a weekend packed full of it! I am absolutely exhausted from all of it. Some good, some bad, but all tiring. I guess this is what life with is like now, huh?
So…
Friday afternoon Techy called me with some news that he knew would set me off. Instead of our leisurely Friday evening that I had originally had planned, he had invited one of his best buds over to play video games all evening leaving me with no hubby face time as I had originally planned. Knowing that he was going to be gone all day on Saturday to his annual pyrotechnics training didn’t help anything. I was more than a little upset and we really got into it. I hate it when he does that and he doesn't understand why I would have a problem with it. And round and round we go.
Since Friday was shot before I even walked through the door, I opted to pack up Little Man and head over to my girlfriend’s house for some baby play time and girl talk. By the time I got home, it was time for the little guy to eat his bottle and head off to bed for the night.
Since Techy was gone all day Saturday, I filled the day with grocery shopping, errands, and a 2 year old’s birthday party. Can I just say, I was in a house full of little boys, and somehow I managed to escape without one bruise – quite a feat considering all the balls/bowling pins that were flying after the little guy opened his gifts. Sometime during the day while I was pining away for my hubby, he called.... We chatted for a few minutes and then he unloaded the bombshell of the day…he had booked 3 fireworks displays for 4th of July weekend this year. (You should know that there is some history with me and fireworks shows…I despise them when my hubby happens to be a shooter in one. Since the night that my husband, then boyfriend, first kissed me, we have never watched a fireworks display together because he has always been shooting them. I resent that A LOT. It takes an incredible amount of time away from our family time.) I was already complaining about and dreading the one show on the 4th, but then he tells me that he booked 2 others?! Lets just say I was ever so slightly irritated....
Sunday morning as we were packing up to head out the door to church, Techy, who has been working on a project for Sunday school by taking videos of our teens, asked me where my camera was. Since the last time I saw it was last week when he took it to Sunday school, I was concerned. Techy is infamous for losing/forgetting things. He has already lost this camera once last fall, and magically, we recovered it. But this time, I knew our chances were slim to none. We searched the house from top to bottom, we searched his car, we searched the Sunday school room, we searched our back yard, we searched our friends’ house, we searched their car.... The camera was no where to be found. We were sunk. We had invested a lot in this camera. The camera itself was almost $400, and last summer before we went on the cruise, Techy spent $200 for an underwater case that only fits that camera. Not to mention all the pictures of our baby boy that we can’t recover.
That was the straw that broke the camel's back. After that, we just chalked up the weekend as a bad one. We were both in a ridiculously bad mood and there was very little hope of recovery. After the irritation on Friday, irritation on Saturday and major irritation on Sunday, I was beyond beat.
And then the phone rang. Our friends who just had their baby last week were calling and wanting to know if we wanted to come visit. So we did....
And Techy took his camera (the new, really ridiculous, expensive, professional one) and we finally made some happy memories for this weekend. Like this one.
And this one
And I'm sorry, there is just something magical about a baby's toes...
And a little boy holding his mommy's hand...
Be still my heart!
Thursday, March 25, 2010
The beat goes on...
Workout update
Day 3 of work out resolution has commenced. I have been walking everyday this week and most days last week. (About 35 minutes/2.7 miles at the park) I did my concentrated workout (Slim in 6) on Tuesday and today. It’s only the beginner level, but it’s a 25 minute total body workout, and I don’t remember being this sore since the “Sweat N Chisel” class I was taking back in 2006…. The road to recovery is a very long road.
Last year when I stopped doing my hard core work outs, I was running 6 miles a day 5 days a week. (I did that until I was 6 weeks pregnant, and then morning sickness hit so hard that I couldn’t function. I was so sick during my first trimester that working out was pretty much impossible. I started walking during my lunch break when I hit 12 or 13 weeks and the constant nausea died down and continued walking 3 miles a day 3 days a week until Little Man arrived.) But it had taken me a long, long time to get to that point.
For now, I am going to enjoy the fact that I have 25 minutes to myself in the mornings to fit the workout in. In a few weeks, I am going to have to carve out 45 minutes for my workout and then the week after that is 60 minutes…. Most of my mom friends are back to running and planning to do a race sometime soon. I obviously won’t be able to train in time for this race, but I think come summer, I am going to start training for a 5 or 10k, as suggested yesterday. One of my girlfriends has been training for a 10k, and I think if I sweet talk her, I may be able to convince her to do one with me sometime this summer. Maybe I will even be able to talk some of my mom friends into joining in with us….
Baby update
Little Man is growing up! We weighed him the other night and he is weighing in at just over 14 lbs. which is almost double his birth weight. He hit the 12 week growth spurt a little early – last Thursday to be exact. It lasted about 2 days and then magically it was over. Since then, strange things have been happening. I started to notice that in the morning when I would try to feed him his first bottle, he didn’t really seem that into it. He wasn’t as hungry as he used to be. And during his dreamfeed (so named for the late night feeding during which most babies sleep while eating) that Techy has been feeding him at 10:30 pm, he was only taking about half the bottle. I had been feeding him 3 bottles in the evening to try to get him to sleep longer at night, but we decided to drop the dreamfeed last night. In turn, I expected him to be RAVENOUS this morning, but after 30 minutes of trying to feed him his 7 am bottle, he had only eaten 1 oz. I have no idea what’s going on. I have to venture over to the pro’s blog and try to figure it out.
Other stuff
The trees are blooming, flowers are growing, birds are singing and I am boycotting real shoes in favor of flip flops. I hate real shoes….
Tomorrow, I am venturing out to the grand and glorious DMV to renew my driver’s license. Lucky for me ALL 4 of Delaware’s DMV’s are being renovated and their website was kind enough to tell me what I can expect when I arrive. You have to check out Delaware’s amazing advances in technology as seen here. (Be sure to click each location’s link)
Isn’t that awesome?! A PDF with one sentence about where you can expect to be delayed due to their construction. I don’t know…what were you expecting? I was expecting maybe a newsletter with a diagram of the construction and before pictures with a sketch of the expected after, And maybe a “We are expecting to complete the construction by …” I love Delaware!
Speaking of Delaware and construction. Nevermind…I will save that for another day.
TTFN…Ta Ta For Now!
Day 3 of work out resolution has commenced. I have been walking everyday this week and most days last week. (About 35 minutes/2.7 miles at the park) I did my concentrated workout (Slim in 6) on Tuesday and today. It’s only the beginner level, but it’s a 25 minute total body workout, and I don’t remember being this sore since the “Sweat N Chisel” class I was taking back in 2006…. The road to recovery is a very long road.
Last year when I stopped doing my hard core work outs, I was running 6 miles a day 5 days a week. (I did that until I was 6 weeks pregnant, and then morning sickness hit so hard that I couldn’t function. I was so sick during my first trimester that working out was pretty much impossible. I started walking during my lunch break when I hit 12 or 13 weeks and the constant nausea died down and continued walking 3 miles a day 3 days a week until Little Man arrived.) But it had taken me a long, long time to get to that point.
For now, I am going to enjoy the fact that I have 25 minutes to myself in the mornings to fit the workout in. In a few weeks, I am going to have to carve out 45 minutes for my workout and then the week after that is 60 minutes…. Most of my mom friends are back to running and planning to do a race sometime soon. I obviously won’t be able to train in time for this race, but I think come summer, I am going to start training for a 5 or 10k, as suggested yesterday. One of my girlfriends has been training for a 10k, and I think if I sweet talk her, I may be able to convince her to do one with me sometime this summer. Maybe I will even be able to talk some of my mom friends into joining in with us….
Baby update
Little Man is growing up! We weighed him the other night and he is weighing in at just over 14 lbs. which is almost double his birth weight. He hit the 12 week growth spurt a little early – last Thursday to be exact. It lasted about 2 days and then magically it was over. Since then, strange things have been happening. I started to notice that in the morning when I would try to feed him his first bottle, he didn’t really seem that into it. He wasn’t as hungry as he used to be. And during his dreamfeed (so named for the late night feeding during which most babies sleep while eating) that Techy has been feeding him at 10:30 pm, he was only taking about half the bottle. I had been feeding him 3 bottles in the evening to try to get him to sleep longer at night, but we decided to drop the dreamfeed last night. In turn, I expected him to be RAVENOUS this morning, but after 30 minutes of trying to feed him his 7 am bottle, he had only eaten 1 oz. I have no idea what’s going on. I have to venture over to the pro’s blog and try to figure it out.
Other stuff
The trees are blooming, flowers are growing, birds are singing and I am boycotting real shoes in favor of flip flops. I hate real shoes….
Tomorrow, I am venturing out to the grand and glorious DMV to renew my driver’s license. Lucky for me ALL 4 of Delaware’s DMV’s are being renovated and their website was kind enough to tell me what I can expect when I arrive. You have to check out Delaware’s amazing advances in technology as seen here. (Be sure to click each location’s link)
Isn’t that awesome?! A PDF with one sentence about where you can expect to be delayed due to their construction. I don’t know…what were you expecting? I was expecting maybe a newsletter with a diagram of the construction and before pictures with a sketch of the expected after, And maybe a “We are expecting to complete the construction by …” I love Delaware!
Speaking of Delaware and construction. Nevermind…I will save that for another day.
TTFN…Ta Ta For Now!
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
The truth of it all...
If you know me, you probably know that I am not big on secrets. My life is an open book, and Techy is far worse than I am. We can keep secrets, but usually, I don’t unless it’s at the request of someone else.
I say that to preface what I am about to do. I am about to do something that is completely unheard of for women…I am about to tell you the biggest secret I have.
MY WEIGHT.
Before I got pregnant I weighed a healthy 135.
The day I had the little man, I tipped the scales at 188. I weighed more than the hubs! Total weight gain of 53 lbs.
When I got home from the hospital, I weighed 178.
In the past 3 months, I have lost 7 lbs.
I now weigh 171.2 lbs.
When I came home from the hospital, I was wearing a size 16-18.
I am now wearing a 14 comfortably, and a 12 uncomfortably. Before I got pregnant I was wearing an 8-10 comfortably.
You may ask why on earth I would reveal something so personal, but I am doing it with purpose. I need the accountability.
I have been eating as healthy as possible since I came home from the hospital, but since I am still lactating I have to keep my calorie count up, and eating low calorie foods has never been the key to my weight loss. Workouts have always been my #1 source of weight loss.
So this morning, after finally getting the baby and dog in sync with sleeping through the night, I managed to get a work out in. My goal is to track my progress over the next 7 weeks (until vacation) and see what if any I can lose between now and then. I plan to have my hubs take my measurements as well since that is a much more accurate showing than actual pounds lost for someone my size.
Wish me luck!
I say that to preface what I am about to do. I am about to do something that is completely unheard of for women…I am about to tell you the biggest secret I have.
MY WEIGHT.
Before I got pregnant I weighed a healthy 135.
The day I had the little man, I tipped the scales at 188. I weighed more than the hubs! Total weight gain of 53 lbs.
When I got home from the hospital, I weighed 178.
In the past 3 months, I have lost 7 lbs.
I now weigh 171.2 lbs.
When I came home from the hospital, I was wearing a size 16-18.
I am now wearing a 14 comfortably, and a 12 uncomfortably. Before I got pregnant I was wearing an 8-10 comfortably.
You may ask why on earth I would reveal something so personal, but I am doing it with purpose. I need the accountability.
I have been eating as healthy as possible since I came home from the hospital, but since I am still lactating I have to keep my calorie count up, and eating low calorie foods has never been the key to my weight loss. Workouts have always been my #1 source of weight loss.
So this morning, after finally getting the baby and dog in sync with sleeping through the night, I managed to get a work out in. My goal is to track my progress over the next 7 weeks (until vacation) and see what if any I can lose between now and then. I plan to have my hubs take my measurements as well since that is a much more accurate showing than actual pounds lost for someone my size.
Wish me luck!
Friday, March 19, 2010
Random facts
Well, I did a random thoughts a few weeks ago. Now I feel the urge to do a random facts about me post. Because life is random and weird things happen to me.
1. I hate the fact that I have had to buy fat summer clothes because I know I don’t have time to get back into my skinny summer clothes.
2. I am really stressed out right now. It’s just so hard to please everyone and I am tired of trying.
3. Baby Lady is amazing! I swear, I feel like she is an extension of my family. She loves Little Man to death, and I can't begin to tell you how awesome it is to have your child somewhere that you know he is receiving good care. Having her right around the corner is better than anything I could ever ask for. Except for maybe my own personal Magda….
4. When I was a teenager, my cousin, Jan, hired me to clean her house once a week and I was her on-call babysitter. It was my first job. It was one of the best relationships of my life. Jan is only 11 years older than me and has been a friend and mentor, even to this day – in spite of all the crazy stuff we've been through….
5. I once dated a pre-con. Weird thing is I also worked his trial 5+ years and -40 lbs later. Don’t ask what he was convicted of…. Just be thankful it didn’t work out. For the record, he was one of only 2 guys who ever broke up with me. And his method of breaking up was way worse than the other guy! He actually showed up where he knew I was waiting on him, with another girl sitting on his lap in his pick up truck, which in redneck language is practically engagement…. (Back in the day, I had a thing for rednecks.)
6. I heart Twilight! Tonight, the 2nd movie, New Moon, comes out on video, and I invited my adopted little sisters over to spend the night and watch it with me. The teeny-bopper inside is so excited! (Team Edward all the way)
7. My birthday is April Fool’s day. And yes, I get a lot of tricks played on me. The worst was my freshman year of college. The guy I was dating had paid a chap to fake “social” us. If you don’t know what that term means, it’s a long story. If you do, you went to PCC and know what a mean trick that was. If I could have slapped him, I would have, but then I would have been “socialed” for real...
8. In Old Hebrew, my name means, “Wild Cow”. Through the centuries, it has been reinterpreted to “cow-eyed”, reinterpreted again to “weary eyed”, and reinterpreted again to “weary”, but in Old (as in ancient) Hebrew, it means “Wild Cow”. Check it out here. Pretty crazy, huh?
9. I am very lucky to have a sister-in-law, who is also my friend. I won’t expand on this since I have learned that to expand could offend someone, but trust me when I say I am lucky.
10. I enjoy cleaning bathrooms because it doesn’t take long to tell a difference.
11. I love riding down the road with my windows open blaring a feel good, summertime tune.
12. My childhood is made up of humorous memories, many of which involve fighting with my sister. 2 memories stick out – one of almost getting suspended from our Christian school for dragging her down the hall by a bookbag and another of getting knocked over the head with a croquet mallot.
I guess that's enough for now.
1. I hate the fact that I have had to buy fat summer clothes because I know I don’t have time to get back into my skinny summer clothes.
2. I am really stressed out right now. It’s just so hard to please everyone and I am tired of trying.
3. Baby Lady is amazing! I swear, I feel like she is an extension of my family. She loves Little Man to death, and I can't begin to tell you how awesome it is to have your child somewhere that you know he is receiving good care. Having her right around the corner is better than anything I could ever ask for. Except for maybe my own personal Magda….
4. When I was a teenager, my cousin, Jan, hired me to clean her house once a week and I was her on-call babysitter. It was my first job. It was one of the best relationships of my life. Jan is only 11 years older than me and has been a friend and mentor, even to this day – in spite of all the crazy stuff we've been through….
5. I once dated a pre-con. Weird thing is I also worked his trial 5+ years and -40 lbs later. Don’t ask what he was convicted of…. Just be thankful it didn’t work out. For the record, he was one of only 2 guys who ever broke up with me. And his method of breaking up was way worse than the other guy! He actually showed up where he knew I was waiting on him, with another girl sitting on his lap in his pick up truck, which in redneck language is practically engagement…. (Back in the day, I had a thing for rednecks.)
6. I heart Twilight! Tonight, the 2nd movie, New Moon, comes out on video, and I invited my adopted little sisters over to spend the night and watch it with me. The teeny-bopper inside is so excited! (Team Edward all the way)
7. My birthday is April Fool’s day. And yes, I get a lot of tricks played on me. The worst was my freshman year of college. The guy I was dating had paid a chap to fake “social” us. If you don’t know what that term means, it’s a long story. If you do, you went to PCC and know what a mean trick that was. If I could have slapped him, I would have, but then I would have been “socialed” for real...
8. In Old Hebrew, my name means, “Wild Cow”. Through the centuries, it has been reinterpreted to “cow-eyed”, reinterpreted again to “weary eyed”, and reinterpreted again to “weary”, but in Old (as in ancient) Hebrew, it means “Wild Cow”. Check it out here. Pretty crazy, huh?
9. I am very lucky to have a sister-in-law, who is also my friend. I won’t expand on this since I have learned that to expand could offend someone, but trust me when I say I am lucky.
10. I enjoy cleaning bathrooms because it doesn’t take long to tell a difference.
11. I love riding down the road with my windows open blaring a feel good, summertime tune.
12. My childhood is made up of humorous memories, many of which involve fighting with my sister. 2 memories stick out – one of almost getting suspended from our Christian school for dragging her down the hall by a bookbag and another of getting knocked over the head with a croquet mallot.
I guess that's enough for now.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
In place
So I have been thinking alot lately and doing alot of self examination tempered by even more prayer. I am learning alot about who I am and who God made me to be. A few things I have learned:
1. I am a missionary
You may or may not know that my junior year of college, I surrendered my life to God. I wanted to be a missionary and my entire senior year I asked God to open or close doors as he saw fit, but I wanted to be a missionary to Uganda. Unfortunately, God never opened that door for me. Instead he made me a missionary to Delaware. I am not the kind of missionary that you traditionally think of, though. I do not work in the ministry full time, but that does not mean that God is not using me to accomplish his will and spread his message. I am doing what he has called me to do. I have the job he wants me to have. I am a mommy to the son that he gave me and a wife to the husband he gave me. I am a Sunday school teacher and (hopefully) a mentor in the ministry that he has placed me in. I may not be perfect, but I am positive that I am right where God wants me to be doing what God wants me to be doing. And isn't that what being a missionary is all about? Standing in the gap that God puts you in and ministering to the people He places in your way?
2. I am extremely weak
Physically, emotionally, and especially spiritually. I complain, I gossip, I judge - I fail constantly. And yet...
3. I am really prideful.
Don't ask me what I have to be so proud of....
4. I am a coat-tail rider
This is a startling revelation to me. I have been thinking/praying through alot lately and I realized that my dream has never been to overcome all the challenges and be the front-runner of anything. When I imagine grand things for me, I imagine myself being the right hand support for said front-runner. Over the years, Techy has dabbled in fixing computers on the side, and I always daydream about him creating his own company with me as his administrative/clerical sidekick. Isn't that sad? That's what I day dream about.... I almost want to laugh or cry or something. If life were "Survivor", I would be Natalie from last season (only I wouldn't win a million dollars for my coat-tail riding abilities)
5. I fit where God wants me to fit.
Why is it that those who want so badly to fit in never do and those who don't care do? Imagine a short, fat girl, frizzy haired girl with giant, round blue rimmed glasses in a long jumper and then you will have a somewhat clear image of what I looked like in middle/high school. Then imagine her going off to college in the same long denim jumper (only it was tighter because I gained weight post-graduation due to some boy drama) with slightly shorter, frizzier hair and blue eyeliner. It should be no surprise that I did not fit in with the "In" crowd at all. But the frizzy-headed girl grew up, lost the glasses, ditched the extra weight(then put it back on post-baby) with high expectations of being welcomed to the "In" crowd with open arms...never happened.
Now imagine a skinny, short, teenage boy who looked like he was still 12 years old, who loved video games, computers, and explosives, now mix in a little "I don't care if anybody likes me, I like everyone!" attitude and you will meet one of the most popular people I know - my hubby. In college he quickly rounded out and aged slightly, but he still has a baby face and he never got any taller than 5'10", he isn't into athletics, and he doesn't care to be. He doesn't need to fit in and yet.... Techy could never return phone calls, never check messages, forget names, forget faces, right down to completely avoiding someone, and people still flock to him. (Probably because of that "I like EVERYONE!" attitude....)
Luckily, I have always been blessed with solid friends to get me to the next stage, whether they be best friends to weather the storms with or my mom (who, by the way, is one of the best friends I could ever ask for), there has always been someone to lean on. Not to mention Techy, who is the bestest friend/love of my life that I could ever ask for. With all that, I am doing way better than the "In" crowd!
6. I am exactly where God wants me to be for now.
You may think this is totally bizarre when I tell you how I know this. A while ago, I was going through a very rough phase. Techy and I had been married for several years and although our marriage was fantastic, I was feeling very alone, very unfulfilled in ministry, unfulfilled in my job, just not right. I remember the night that I hit my breaking point…we were on our way to a Christian concert with some friends. I had been praying all afternoon about the situation. On the way, I started to voice my concern to the hubs. As is common, he was completely oblivious to my feelings, but we decided we would pray about it.
We got lost on the way and ended up being late to the concert, but when we walked in the gates, the song the artist was playing stopped me in my tracks. “Greater things have yet to come and greater things are still to be done in this city”. Being the emotional wreck that I am, I burst into tears. I call it a God moment, when God moves everything to speak to me…it has happened a couple times in my life and I am telling you it’s incredible. Whenever I start to feel that old itch kick up, I start praying for God to show me where he wants me to be, and you wouldn’t believe how often that song ends up on the radio or in a video at church…. For right now, I can tell you that I am where he wants me to be. Who knows what the upcoming weeks/months may bring, but for now, I am in my place and in position. And I am happy with that!
1. I am a missionary
You may or may not know that my junior year of college, I surrendered my life to God. I wanted to be a missionary and my entire senior year I asked God to open or close doors as he saw fit, but I wanted to be a missionary to Uganda. Unfortunately, God never opened that door for me. Instead he made me a missionary to Delaware. I am not the kind of missionary that you traditionally think of, though. I do not work in the ministry full time, but that does not mean that God is not using me to accomplish his will and spread his message. I am doing what he has called me to do. I have the job he wants me to have. I am a mommy to the son that he gave me and a wife to the husband he gave me. I am a Sunday school teacher and (hopefully) a mentor in the ministry that he has placed me in. I may not be perfect, but I am positive that I am right where God wants me to be doing what God wants me to be doing. And isn't that what being a missionary is all about? Standing in the gap that God puts you in and ministering to the people He places in your way?
2. I am extremely weak
Physically, emotionally, and especially spiritually. I complain, I gossip, I judge - I fail constantly. And yet...
3. I am really prideful.
Don't ask me what I have to be so proud of....
4. I am a coat-tail rider
This is a startling revelation to me. I have been thinking/praying through alot lately and I realized that my dream has never been to overcome all the challenges and be the front-runner of anything. When I imagine grand things for me, I imagine myself being the right hand support for said front-runner. Over the years, Techy has dabbled in fixing computers on the side, and I always daydream about him creating his own company with me as his administrative/clerical sidekick. Isn't that sad? That's what I day dream about.... I almost want to laugh or cry or something. If life were "Survivor", I would be Natalie from last season (only I wouldn't win a million dollars for my coat-tail riding abilities)
5. I fit where God wants me to fit.
Why is it that those who want so badly to fit in never do and those who don't care do? Imagine a short, fat girl, frizzy haired girl with giant, round blue rimmed glasses in a long jumper and then you will have a somewhat clear image of what I looked like in middle/high school. Then imagine her going off to college in the same long denim jumper (only it was tighter because I gained weight post-graduation due to some boy drama) with slightly shorter, frizzier hair and blue eyeliner. It should be no surprise that I did not fit in with the "In" crowd at all. But the frizzy-headed girl grew up, lost the glasses, ditched the extra weight(then put it back on post-baby) with high expectations of being welcomed to the "In" crowd with open arms...never happened.
Now imagine a skinny, short, teenage boy who looked like he was still 12 years old, who loved video games, computers, and explosives, now mix in a little "I don't care if anybody likes me, I like everyone!" attitude and you will meet one of the most popular people I know - my hubby. In college he quickly rounded out and aged slightly, but he still has a baby face and he never got any taller than 5'10", he isn't into athletics, and he doesn't care to be. He doesn't need to fit in and yet.... Techy could never return phone calls, never check messages, forget names, forget faces, right down to completely avoiding someone, and people still flock to him. (Probably because of that "I like EVERYONE!" attitude....)
Luckily, I have always been blessed with solid friends to get me to the next stage, whether they be best friends to weather the storms with or my mom (who, by the way, is one of the best friends I could ever ask for), there has always been someone to lean on. Not to mention Techy, who is the bestest friend/love of my life that I could ever ask for. With all that, I am doing way better than the "In" crowd!
6. I am exactly where God wants me to be for now.
You may think this is totally bizarre when I tell you how I know this. A while ago, I was going through a very rough phase. Techy and I had been married for several years and although our marriage was fantastic, I was feeling very alone, very unfulfilled in ministry, unfulfilled in my job, just not right. I remember the night that I hit my breaking point…we were on our way to a Christian concert with some friends. I had been praying all afternoon about the situation. On the way, I started to voice my concern to the hubs. As is common, he was completely oblivious to my feelings, but we decided we would pray about it.
We got lost on the way and ended up being late to the concert, but when we walked in the gates, the song the artist was playing stopped me in my tracks. “Greater things have yet to come and greater things are still to be done in this city”. Being the emotional wreck that I am, I burst into tears. I call it a God moment, when God moves everything to speak to me…it has happened a couple times in my life and I am telling you it’s incredible. Whenever I start to feel that old itch kick up, I start praying for God to show me where he wants me to be, and you wouldn’t believe how often that song ends up on the radio or in a video at church…. For right now, I can tell you that I am where he wants me to be. Who knows what the upcoming weeks/months may bring, but for now, I am in my place and in position. And I am happy with that!
Tuesday, March 16, 2010
Overdue and Overweight
Today is my friend Rachel’s due date. They are expecting their own Little Man anytime now. Don’t worry, I gave her the laundry list of things she needed to know pre-baby. When I talked to her hubby this morning, he indicated that she is still having no signs of labor and she is terribly uncomfortable and anxious for her little guy to arrive. Poor girl…I remember those feelings all too well.
Lucky for her, she is one of those people who will probably leave the hospital in her pre-pregnancy jeans.
I, on the other hand, still can’t fit into my pre-pregnancy jeans. I am actually about 4 sizes and 35 lbs bigger than I was when I got pregnant.
On that note, this weekend, Techy, out of the goodness of his heart, bought wii fit for us. He was so excited! As soon as we got home, he had to hook it up and try it out. He registered himself and just as expected, it told him that he was slightly overweight and he should lose about 10 lbs.
He couldn’t be satisfied if I didn’t try it out too.
As I stepped on the balance board and registered myself, the oh-so-friendly, ever-helpful, sweet little-device practically screamed at me. I am pretty sure lights and sirens were going off in my house… If it had spoken audibly, it would have said something along the lines of “Get off of me, Lard Butt, and go run a few miles before even thinking about stepping on me again!”
According to my Wii Fit, I am (get ready for this) OBESE….
Oh the sheer awfulness of it all.
To make it worse, my mii morphed in front of my eyes. It went from being this way cute little mii, to this short, round stub of a mii. Now I feel like I need to lose weight in order to use my Wii Fit to lose weight.
To beat it all, I feel the need to explain to my Wii Fit that I just had a baby and I am working on losing the weight, but my baby just started to sleep through the night….
Too bad it doesn’t care.
Lucky for her, she is one of those people who will probably leave the hospital in her pre-pregnancy jeans.
I, on the other hand, still can’t fit into my pre-pregnancy jeans. I am actually about 4 sizes and 35 lbs bigger than I was when I got pregnant.
On that note, this weekend, Techy, out of the goodness of his heart, bought wii fit for us. He was so excited! As soon as we got home, he had to hook it up and try it out. He registered himself and just as expected, it told him that he was slightly overweight and he should lose about 10 lbs.
He couldn’t be satisfied if I didn’t try it out too.
As I stepped on the balance board and registered myself, the oh-so-friendly, ever-helpful, sweet little-device practically screamed at me. I am pretty sure lights and sirens were going off in my house… If it had spoken audibly, it would have said something along the lines of “Get off of me, Lard Butt, and go run a few miles before even thinking about stepping on me again!”
According to my Wii Fit, I am (get ready for this) OBESE….
Oh the sheer awfulness of it all.
To make it worse, my mii morphed in front of my eyes. It went from being this way cute little mii, to this short, round stub of a mii. Now I feel like I need to lose weight in order to use my Wii Fit to lose weight.
To beat it all, I feel the need to explain to my Wii Fit that I just had a baby and I am working on losing the weight, but my baby just started to sleep through the night….
Too bad it doesn’t care.
Friday, March 12, 2010
Puppy Love
If you know us, you probably know about our dog, Gizmo. (Named in honor of my husband’s technology obsession. I always said if I could ever have another pet, I would name it Gadget to fit the theme. Had I been thinking, I would have named Little Man something like Gigabyte so he wouldn’t feel left out.)
When we first adopted the pooch, he was my dog. I asked for him for my birthday 2 years ago. I scoured the internet, watched the SPCA and Humane Society until I found him. Techy wasn’t in for it, but he knew how badly I wanted a pet. I spotted Giz at the SPCA in “Slower Lower”. It was love at first sight. After a week of waiting for a “Yes” from Techy, we finally hiked down there to pick up the pooch. Unfortunately, he was nowhere in sight. I was heartbroken. The next day he showed up at my SPCA and I had my deposit in by noon. When I brought him home, Techy had very little to do with him. Remember, this was “my dog”.
Oh how the tables have turned. “My Dog” now will have very little to do with me, but as soon as Techy comes through the door Giz is running through the house throwing toys in the air and hugging Techy. Yes, Giz gives hugs—it’s slightly ridiculous. He also sleeps with all visitors and scares easily. But he is an incredible dog. And he and Techy are best buds. They communicate on a different level than most pets & owners. Pretty sure they speak the same language.
Anyway, every night Giz climbs up into bed with us and he and Techy begin their nightly ritual of digging through the covers for Gizmo’s toys, bones, and treasures. The growl, they bark, they wrestle, and they irritate me to death. I fuss at Techy about it all the time. I think that we should train the dog that the bed is a calm place, not a place to growl and wrestle, but Noooooooooooooooooooo.
Last night, Techy got his. Around 1:45 this morning, Techy said he woke up to the dog bending over him, playfully growling in his face, with his tale wagging. Gizmo was bored and wanted to go outside and play. After trying to make the dog go back to bed for several minutes, Techy eventually got up and let him out. Somehow, I slept through the drama.
That’ll show you to steal my dog and spoil him! Play time in the middle of the night…
All that to say, now that the baby is sleeping through the night - the dog is the one keeping us up at night.
And even though we are thankful for it, the American dream that we have been living for so many weeks (i.e., white picket fence, baby, dog, etc.) is making us long for sweet dreams that happen at night while we are actually SLEEPING.
When we first adopted the pooch, he was my dog. I asked for him for my birthday 2 years ago. I scoured the internet, watched the SPCA and Humane Society until I found him. Techy wasn’t in for it, but he knew how badly I wanted a pet. I spotted Giz at the SPCA in “Slower Lower”. It was love at first sight. After a week of waiting for a “Yes” from Techy, we finally hiked down there to pick up the pooch. Unfortunately, he was nowhere in sight. I was heartbroken. The next day he showed up at my SPCA and I had my deposit in by noon. When I brought him home, Techy had very little to do with him. Remember, this was “my dog”.
Oh how the tables have turned. “My Dog” now will have very little to do with me, but as soon as Techy comes through the door Giz is running through the house throwing toys in the air and hugging Techy. Yes, Giz gives hugs—it’s slightly ridiculous. He also sleeps with all visitors and scares easily. But he is an incredible dog. And he and Techy are best buds. They communicate on a different level than most pets & owners. Pretty sure they speak the same language.
Anyway, every night Giz climbs up into bed with us and he and Techy begin their nightly ritual of digging through the covers for Gizmo’s toys, bones, and treasures. The growl, they bark, they wrestle, and they irritate me to death. I fuss at Techy about it all the time. I think that we should train the dog that the bed is a calm place, not a place to growl and wrestle, but Noooooooooooooooooooo.
Last night, Techy got his. Around 1:45 this morning, Techy said he woke up to the dog bending over him, playfully growling in his face, with his tale wagging. Gizmo was bored and wanted to go outside and play. After trying to make the dog go back to bed for several minutes, Techy eventually got up and let him out. Somehow, I slept through the drama.
That’ll show you to steal my dog and spoil him! Play time in the middle of the night…
All that to say, now that the baby is sleeping through the night - the dog is the one keeping us up at night.
And even though we are thankful for it, the American dream that we have been living for so many weeks (i.e., white picket fence, baby, dog, etc.) is making us long for sweet dreams that happen at night while we are actually SLEEPING.
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Hellooooooooooooo out there!
I think one of the most difficult parts of being a new mom is the isolation.
Especially when your life was as crazy as mine was. I ran constantly right up until the little guy was born.
After having Little Man, I was flooded with attention for several weeks non-stop. But after the dust settles, everyone has seen the baby, life is back to normal, but I don’t have the ability to run like I used to. Therefore, I don’t see my friends like I used to.
To clarify, I am not complaining. I should preface everything with the statement that my little man is totally worth all the isolation, all the work, all the extra skin, all the stretch marks, and all the love.
But I miss my friends. I miss feeling like people care. I know they do. I just miss feeling it.
That’s one of the hardest things about being a new mom.
Especially when your life was as crazy as mine was. I ran constantly right up until the little guy was born.
After having Little Man, I was flooded with attention for several weeks non-stop. But after the dust settles, everyone has seen the baby, life is back to normal, but I don’t have the ability to run like I used to. Therefore, I don’t see my friends like I used to.
To clarify, I am not complaining. I should preface everything with the statement that my little man is totally worth all the isolation, all the work, all the extra skin, all the stretch marks, and all the love.
But I miss my friends. I miss feeling like people care. I know they do. I just miss feeling it.
That’s one of the hardest things about being a new mom.
Saturday, March 6, 2010
Living like a mad ninja!
So, I realized yesterday that I complain AAAAAAAlot on this blog. I don't mean to, I just do. I have so much to be thankful for. So today, I am going to change it up a bit.
Last night, Little Man slept for 7.5 hours. Until this week, he had been sleeping anywhere from 4-6 hours at night. I am pretty sure that alot of the difference has been developing a real routine. I changed up his schedule a little bit over the last few weeks, and it seems to be paying off.
I have felt like a failure in the mommy department for a while because despite my best efforts to follow the book, my baby was only sleeping between 4-6 hours. At this point, all of my friends who followed the book had their babies sleeping 7-8 hours or more. Apparently, I had done something wrong. But then I started reading a blog from another Babywise mom, and realized even she struggled. And again ALL BABIES ARE DIFFERENT. I believe in this article she is referring to her 3rd child who seems to be at exactly the same stage as my little man.... Meaning 1) she started a stinking blog to tell the world about the Babywise schedule and 2)she has done this twice before and her child is still at the same stage as Little Man. I feel better. Maybe I have done ok. According to this article, non-BW related, we are ahead of the curve with Little Man.
He is 10 weeks today, and he had one night last week that he slept for 7 hours. The rest he slept for 5 or 6, but then over the weekend he started sleeping 7.5 hours. On Friday, Saturday, and Sunday night. I feel like a new woman!
On top of that, the sun is out. The sun was out all weekend, and today the temperature is supposed to be almost 60 degrees. After what has been the longest, snowiest winter in Delaware history, it's a huge relief.
For now, life is good. Little Man is sleeping, American Idol is back on tv, and spring is finally making an appearance. I am so thankful!
As for living like a mad ninja - it's a long story that has something to do with Michael Scott, HD-DVR, and Carmen San Diego.
Friday, March 5, 2010
It has come to my attention...
It has come to my attention that I made a relatively controversal comment during my random comments the other day.
Actually, I probably made several controversal comments during that vent session...it's been an interesting week.
Anyway, my best friend politely posted that she disagreed with my comments about stay at home moms complaining about how busy they are. On those grounds, I am clarifying my statement.
I was not referring to anyone who is actually at home with small children. The term I was actually looking for was probably more along the lines of "Soccer Mom's"--the mom's whose kids are in school all day and make themselves busy by baking, cleaning, doing laundry, planning events, doing yoga, and yet they complain about how busy they are.
For those of us with little ones, I realize that being a stay at home mom is more than a full time job. It is hard work - very hard. When your little ones are small enough to need constant supervision and they are still in the house, it is very difficult to get anything else done, let alone everything else done. So feel free to whine to me! I was exhausted on my maternity leave, and my house never got clean, my laundry never got caught up--I just barely got my Christmas decorations put away.
I am sure it is hard work to be a Soccer Mom too, but my point is only that if they want to complain, they should probably be complaining to another Soccer Mom, not a new mommy who just went back to work and has no time to breathe. I am just not ready to hear about how hard it is to fit the yoga into your schedule because you were too busy baking cookies and planning a bake sale.
Actually, I probably made several controversal comments during that vent session...it's been an interesting week.
Anyway, my best friend politely posted that she disagreed with my comments about stay at home moms complaining about how busy they are. On those grounds, I am clarifying my statement.
I was not referring to anyone who is actually at home with small children. The term I was actually looking for was probably more along the lines of "Soccer Mom's"--the mom's whose kids are in school all day and make themselves busy by baking, cleaning, doing laundry, planning events, doing yoga, and yet they complain about how busy they are.
For those of us with little ones, I realize that being a stay at home mom is more than a full time job. It is hard work - very hard. When your little ones are small enough to need constant supervision and they are still in the house, it is very difficult to get anything else done, let alone everything else done. So feel free to whine to me! I was exhausted on my maternity leave, and my house never got clean, my laundry never got caught up--I just barely got my Christmas decorations put away.
I am sure it is hard work to be a Soccer Mom too, but my point is only that if they want to complain, they should probably be complaining to another Soccer Mom, not a new mommy who just went back to work and has no time to breathe. I am just not ready to hear about how hard it is to fit the yoga into your schedule because you were too busy baking cookies and planning a bake sale.
Thursday, March 4, 2010
Did you ever know that you're my hero?
Techy never complains.
Ok, so not never. But very rarely does he complain. He is just a happy go lucky kinda guy. However, over the last week, he has had a cold. Now, I don't know about your man, but when mine doesn't feel good the world may as well be ending.
Typically, I depend on him to help keep me positive and laughing. This week we are both just cranky, as in total crankypants cranky.
That brings me to where I am at. Cranky. At work.
I really shouldn't be, my baby slept through the night for the 2nd night in a row! (High kicks and fist pumps have been reinstated for this only)
But....
Is there anyone who has a ridiculous habit that drives you nuts?
There is this lady that I know who talks to herself constantly.
It makes me crazy.
To top it off, she is a speed walker, like the old ladies who walk the mall.
She speed walks around all day long talking to herself.
At least twice a week someone will tell her to stop running - No one ever tells her to stop talking to herself.
I don't think it would disturb me so much, but she wrings her hands whiles she is walking around, talking to herself, which brings back repressed memories of visiting nursing homes as a child. There was always the one woman walking down the hall wringing her hands and talking to no one.
You know what I mean? The people who have been left alone so long that they think it's ok to talk to yourself and respond. It's actually kind of sad, which is why I think it bothers me so much....
All that to say, I am cranky and she is talking to herself more than normal. Need I say more?
It's just one of those days.
Ok, so not never. But very rarely does he complain. He is just a happy go lucky kinda guy. However, over the last week, he has had a cold. Now, I don't know about your man, but when mine doesn't feel good the world may as well be ending.
Typically, I depend on him to help keep me positive and laughing. This week we are both just cranky, as in total crankypants cranky.
That brings me to where I am at. Cranky. At work.
I really shouldn't be, my baby slept through the night for the 2nd night in a row! (High kicks and fist pumps have been reinstated for this only)
But....
Is there anyone who has a ridiculous habit that drives you nuts?
There is this lady that I know who talks to herself constantly.
It makes me crazy.
To top it off, she is a speed walker, like the old ladies who walk the mall.
She speed walks around all day long talking to herself.
At least twice a week someone will tell her to stop running - No one ever tells her to stop talking to herself.
I don't think it would disturb me so much, but she wrings her hands whiles she is walking around, talking to herself, which brings back repressed memories of visiting nursing homes as a child. There was always the one woman walking down the hall wringing her hands and talking to no one.
You know what I mean? The people who have been left alone so long that they think it's ok to talk to yourself and respond. It's actually kind of sad, which is why I think it bothers me so much....
All that to say, I am cranky and she is talking to herself more than normal. Need I say more?
It's just one of those days.
Wednesday, March 3, 2010
Random Thoughts from a Know-It-All
1. No new parent should try to compare their baby with other babies. It is one thing to try to gauge your expectations by another's experience, but no baby performs the same as others. Babies are totally unique and they will all have different strengths and weaknesses. Can you tell that I am struggling with this one?
2. "Humidifying" moment at work today - one of my girlfriends sent me an email titled "Free Dishwasher". You open it up and it says something about how she got this new dishwasher and her boyfriend is really upset about it, would I be interested in it? Of course, she was kind enough to include a picture of it. When you scroll down to see it, there is a cleverly posed picture of a nearly nude male model in a sink washing himself down. At the exact moment that I scrolled down, I turned around to find my boss standing behind me.
3. Ever watched the tv show, "Ruby"? I learned last week that in Georgia "humidified" means "humiliated". As I am southern and would like to take on as much of that southern charm as possible, I am wondering if I too should be confusing the terms? Oh well...
4. Thinks that milk coming from my boobs is bizarre...anyone with me on this? It's just strange.
5. Wants the world to know that you should be very cautious if you are in love with a middle aged man who is approaching retirement, has sacrificed a good bit of his time and money to unappreciative sources, and feels that he is a failure in some aspect of his life. He is going to crack if he doesn't get help in dealing with it. And you don't want to be around when it happens. He will blame you for everything, even things you had nothing to do with. He can't face the fact that life dealt him a worse card than others. Eventually, he will come back to his senses, but chances are that he will have lost everything by that time.
6. Wonders if penis pumps are as painful as breast pumps??
7. Thinks it's funny that stay at home mom's complain about being so busy. I mean, believe me, I don't envy you, but really? That busy? Imagine having to do everything you do and then having to go to work 8 hours a day. Yeah. Be thankful that you don't have to work, and don't complain to me. I mean that in the sweetest southern way possible.
8. My baby slept through the night last night. I say through the night because he went to bed at 11 and woke up at 5 am. Only a 6 hour stretch, but I will take it. Way to go, Little Man. I take very little credit for it...I read this book in college and have recommended it to everyone I know after my niece started sleeping through the night at 10 weeks old. That was 8 years ago, and since then everyone I know who has tried it has had their babies sleeping through the night by 3-4 months at the latest. Meanwhile, my mommy friends who don't do a schedule end up getting up with their babies all the way up to a year.
9. I love Game Show Network. I love to watch Family Feud, Deal or No Deal, Match Game. Pretty sure that I am really an 85 year old woman inside.
10. If anyone watched the Bachelor this season, we learned that Patty Stanger, Millionaire Matchmaker knows what she is saying when she says, "The Penis does the Picking" (I watch way too much reality tv)
11. I have now mentioned a penis twice in my blog...my mother would die. Hopefully, she doesn't read this post. Hopefully, my pastor doesn't read it! Oh well...it's my random thoughts...at least I am honest. For the record, I did not want to look at the picture of the "Free Dishwasher", it was just there!
12. I have learned that I am very insecure in being a mommy. I realized this last week when, on my son's first day at day care, I was relieved to drop him off because I figured she had way more experience than me. Then I felt guilty for feeling relieved...and the cycle began.
13. My Little Man has his first cold. He has been coughing like crazy for 3 days. It doesn't seem to bother him and he isn't running a fever, and I did consult with a nurse to make sure I didn't need to take him to the doctor. But yesterday when I went to pick him up, my day care lady, who I will blog name, "Baby Lady", told me he sounded like he had the croup. All I could think was what do I do for that?! And that's what I said. She laughed and laughed! See I am incompetent!
14. I am tired of having cleavage. At least this much cleavage. Even Techy is kinda over it. I think he thinks, "What's the use if I can't touch them?" And really...
15. Have I mentioned that I am continuing to pump milk while I am working? I take 2 pumping breaks a day. I have to dress very strategically in order to be able to do this, but today, I wore a dress...not sure what I was thinking. You can't pull a dress down enough to be able to pump. Let me say, it was a feat to get those puppies out today!
16. I have the most easy going husband of all time. He rarely, if ever, gets upset. Because it happens so infrequently, he doesn't really know what to do when it does. Case in point, a few nights ago, it happened. I had asked him to help with the baby and then loudly complained about the way he helped...it pushed him right over the edge. He pitched a fit like a little 9 year old. Looking back, it was probably one of the funniest moments in our marriage.
17. If I had to name the most humorous moment in our marriage, I would have to say it was the day that he sneaked back into our apartment to find me in the shower. He made the impromptu (and I might add WRONG decision) to scare me. When he jerked open the shower curtain it scared me so bad that I jumped, lost my footing and flew through the air to land square on my butt in the shower, sobbing my eyes out. He felt wretched, and I had a huge bruise for several days, but oh how funny that must have looked.
18. Then there was that time we were in Florida on our first day there, on the beach, when our wallets were stolen.... Pretty fun times....
I guess 18 random thoughts is enough for today.
2. "Humidifying" moment at work today - one of my girlfriends sent me an email titled "Free Dishwasher". You open it up and it says something about how she got this new dishwasher and her boyfriend is really upset about it, would I be interested in it? Of course, she was kind enough to include a picture of it. When you scroll down to see it, there is a cleverly posed picture of a nearly nude male model in a sink washing himself down. At the exact moment that I scrolled down, I turned around to find my boss standing behind me.
3. Ever watched the tv show, "Ruby"? I learned last week that in Georgia "humidified" means "humiliated". As I am southern and would like to take on as much of that southern charm as possible, I am wondering if I too should be confusing the terms? Oh well...
4. Thinks that milk coming from my boobs is bizarre...anyone with me on this? It's just strange.
5. Wants the world to know that you should be very cautious if you are in love with a middle aged man who is approaching retirement, has sacrificed a good bit of his time and money to unappreciative sources, and feels that he is a failure in some aspect of his life. He is going to crack if he doesn't get help in dealing with it. And you don't want to be around when it happens. He will blame you for everything, even things you had nothing to do with. He can't face the fact that life dealt him a worse card than others. Eventually, he will come back to his senses, but chances are that he will have lost everything by that time.
6. Wonders if penis pumps are as painful as breast pumps??
7. Thinks it's funny that stay at home mom's complain about being so busy. I mean, believe me, I don't envy you, but really? That busy? Imagine having to do everything you do and then having to go to work 8 hours a day. Yeah. Be thankful that you don't have to work, and don't complain to me. I mean that in the sweetest southern way possible.
8. My baby slept through the night last night. I say through the night because he went to bed at 11 and woke up at 5 am. Only a 6 hour stretch, but I will take it. Way to go, Little Man. I take very little credit for it...I read this book in college and have recommended it to everyone I know after my niece started sleeping through the night at 10 weeks old. That was 8 years ago, and since then everyone I know who has tried it has had their babies sleeping through the night by 3-4 months at the latest. Meanwhile, my mommy friends who don't do a schedule end up getting up with their babies all the way up to a year.
9. I love Game Show Network. I love to watch Family Feud, Deal or No Deal, Match Game. Pretty sure that I am really an 85 year old woman inside.
10. If anyone watched the Bachelor this season, we learned that Patty Stanger, Millionaire Matchmaker knows what she is saying when she says, "The Penis does the Picking" (I watch way too much reality tv)
11. I have now mentioned a penis twice in my blog...my mother would die. Hopefully, she doesn't read this post. Hopefully, my pastor doesn't read it! Oh well...it's my random thoughts...at least I am honest. For the record, I did not want to look at the picture of the "Free Dishwasher", it was just there!
12. I have learned that I am very insecure in being a mommy. I realized this last week when, on my son's first day at day care, I was relieved to drop him off because I figured she had way more experience than me. Then I felt guilty for feeling relieved...and the cycle began.
13. My Little Man has his first cold. He has been coughing like crazy for 3 days. It doesn't seem to bother him and he isn't running a fever, and I did consult with a nurse to make sure I didn't need to take him to the doctor. But yesterday when I went to pick him up, my day care lady, who I will blog name, "Baby Lady", told me he sounded like he had the croup. All I could think was what do I do for that?! And that's what I said. She laughed and laughed! See I am incompetent!
14. I am tired of having cleavage. At least this much cleavage. Even Techy is kinda over it. I think he thinks, "What's the use if I can't touch them?" And really...
15. Have I mentioned that I am continuing to pump milk while I am working? I take 2 pumping breaks a day. I have to dress very strategically in order to be able to do this, but today, I wore a dress...not sure what I was thinking. You can't pull a dress down enough to be able to pump. Let me say, it was a feat to get those puppies out today!
16. I have the most easy going husband of all time. He rarely, if ever, gets upset. Because it happens so infrequently, he doesn't really know what to do when it does. Case in point, a few nights ago, it happened. I had asked him to help with the baby and then loudly complained about the way he helped...it pushed him right over the edge. He pitched a fit like a little 9 year old. Looking back, it was probably one of the funniest moments in our marriage.
17. If I had to name the most humorous moment in our marriage, I would have to say it was the day that he sneaked back into our apartment to find me in the shower. He made the impromptu (and I might add WRONG decision) to scare me. When he jerked open the shower curtain it scared me so bad that I jumped, lost my footing and flew through the air to land square on my butt in the shower, sobbing my eyes out. He felt wretched, and I had a huge bruise for several days, but oh how funny that must have looked.
18. Then there was that time we were in Florida on our first day there, on the beach, when our wallets were stolen.... Pretty fun times....
I guess 18 random thoughts is enough for today.
Tuesday, March 2, 2010
I can see clearly now the rain is gone
First of all, I want to take a moment to chastise myself for my comments of yesterday about my hubby’s interaction with the baby. I know he works hard all day long and he deserves some down time. Therefore the time of video game play that he gets each evening is only fair and helps him unwind, which in turn allows me to have access to a happy hubby. I am very thankful for him (even if he does spend a lot of time playing video games). Especially since he has been helping more and more with Little Man – for those of you who don’t have children yet, you should know that although breastfeeding is a “wonderful bonding experience”, bottles are totally where it’s at. Bottles enable others to be able to help – i.e., Techy’s taking on more responsibility – as well as allowing you to know exactly how much your little one is eating at each feeding, and it takes so much less time! It’s the bomb! The next time around, I plan to breast feed for that first week or 2 and let my milk supply build up, then we are switching to bottles for all the awake feedings! The only advantage that nursing allows is for those mid-night feedings when you don't have to go anywhere and you don't have to clean anything up.
That being said, I dedicate this post to this guy…the genius who invented the baby swing. In so doing, the man gave me and millions of parents the world over hours of their lives back. The device is magical. When naps are elusive and nothing else can calm the little guy down, the swing is the magical cure!
As opposed to one of these...
That being said, I dedicate this post to this guy…the genius who invented the baby swing. In so doing, the man gave me and millions of parents the world over hours of their lives back. The device is magical. When naps are elusive and nothing else can calm the little guy down, the swing is the magical cure!
In addition, I should probably send some hi-fives and fist pumps out to this guy too, since the developments he made helped give me one of these....
When you get in one of those with one of these
You end up with one of these...
And then you become one of these...
As opposed to one of these...Which is good because no one recognizes me when I turn into the scary purple stress ball....
Monday, March 1, 2010
The Complaints of a Chronic Pouty-Pants
It’s been a while since my last post.
If I have learned nothing else from this new lifestyle of mine, I have learned that there is very little time for “Me Time”. My husband usually manages to find his “Me Time” but what I get is usually about 30 minutes a day and is spent doing something productive, like washing bottles or packing bags for tomorrow or cleaning my house.
Did I mention that I went back to work last week?
Did I also mention that I have always been somewhat of a self-sacrificing person (a.k.a. Martyr to my sister) – it drives my husband and my sister CRAZY – I end up taking on more than I can handle because no one else wants to. Believe me when I say this is not one of my better traits. And becoming a mother has added a whole new dimension to my martyrdom. For example, this is how my “relaxing evenings” went last week…
5:05-5:10 pm – Pick up baby from day care
5:15-5:30 pm – Home. Put baby in swing and pump a bottle’s worth of milk for baby
5:30-6:00 pm – Fix and eat dinner
6:00-7:00 pm – Clean up dinner dishes, make 6 bottles to last the next 24 hours.
7:00-7:35 pm – Feed baby
7:35-7:40 pm – Change his diaper
7:40-8:05 pm – Entertain baby,
8:05-8:10 pm – Put him down for a nap,
8:15-9:00 pm – Pack my lunch, lay out clothes for both myself and the baby to wear tomorrow, load the dishwasher & run it, and pump another bottle of milk
After all that is done, I might have had about an hour to watch tv with my husband before I had to feed the baby again.
In the meantime, my husband’s evening went something like this…
5:00-5:35 pm – Drive home from work – face hectic traffic
5:35-6:00 pm – Take off clothes in middle of kitchen, dance suggestively around wife and hint at what you would like to have happen later in the evening, & eat dinner
6:00-9:00 pm – Play video games
On the upside, at least we have a pattern….
I should say that this routine is only one week old, and in my husband’s defense, he was sick last week and couldn’t help with the baby that much. And in my defense, I thrive on multitasking—I love it! It’s like the achievement of a lifetime to get as much done in the smallest amount of time possible.
Also in my husband’s defense, yesterday afternoon, he took the baby from me and sent me to the mall with my best friend for 2 whole hours!
All that to say, I am exhausted, have very little personal time, and am looking forward to my husband being healthy and able to help more.
BUT don’t think I am not enjoying my new life. My Little Man is the best reason ever for me to be this exhausted, and to be honest, I don’t miss my “Me Time” that much, considering I get to spend a lot of quality time with the little guy. He is 9 weeks old today, and over the last 5 weeks he has really started to come alive. For the sake of those who want to know and my own personal memory’s sake here is a timeline of his activities over the last several weeks.
4 weeks – Little Man started making eye contact, moving his head to follow things he had his little eyes on and grasping onto things. Sleeping in about 4 ½ hr stretches at night.
5 weeks – Baby smiles started showing up, although not in response to anything specific.
6 weeks – Little Man started cooing and smiling in response to us as well as in response to his favorite little toys. Slept his first 6 hour stretch.
7 weeks – The cooing turned into gurgles in response to us talking to him, he started moving his head from side to side to explore the world around him. Sleeping has been varied between 4 and 6 hours.
8 weeks – Smiling has turned into laughing – which sounds more like a high pitched squeal of delight than laughter, but it’s awesome. Techy is a pro at making the little guy smile and laugh, which obviously makes him the best dad in the world. The Little Guy has even more control of head movement, including holding it up for several moments at a time—we put him in a Bumbo chair this week, just so we could see if he would like it, and he successfully held his head up for about a minute. Little Man got his first round of shots this week and weathered them like a champ. Barely cried at all and was so well-behaved after they were over. He also got his first cold this week – either that or he is suffering side effects from the shots – whatever the case he has his first runny nose and cough.
If I have learned nothing else from this new lifestyle of mine, I have learned that there is very little time for “Me Time”. My husband usually manages to find his “Me Time” but what I get is usually about 30 minutes a day and is spent doing something productive, like washing bottles or packing bags for tomorrow or cleaning my house.
Did I mention that I went back to work last week?
Did I also mention that I have always been somewhat of a self-sacrificing person (a.k.a. Martyr to my sister) – it drives my husband and my sister CRAZY – I end up taking on more than I can handle because no one else wants to. Believe me when I say this is not one of my better traits. And becoming a mother has added a whole new dimension to my martyrdom. For example, this is how my “relaxing evenings” went last week…
5:05-5:10 pm – Pick up baby from day care
5:15-5:30 pm – Home. Put baby in swing and pump a bottle’s worth of milk for baby
5:30-6:00 pm – Fix and eat dinner
6:00-7:00 pm – Clean up dinner dishes, make 6 bottles to last the next 24 hours.
7:00-7:35 pm – Feed baby
7:35-7:40 pm – Change his diaper
7:40-8:05 pm – Entertain baby,
8:05-8:10 pm – Put him down for a nap,
8:15-9:00 pm – Pack my lunch, lay out clothes for both myself and the baby to wear tomorrow, load the dishwasher & run it, and pump another bottle of milk
After all that is done, I might have had about an hour to watch tv with my husband before I had to feed the baby again.
In the meantime, my husband’s evening went something like this…
5:00-5:35 pm – Drive home from work – face hectic traffic
5:35-6:00 pm – Take off clothes in middle of kitchen, dance suggestively around wife and hint at what you would like to have happen later in the evening, & eat dinner
6:00-9:00 pm – Play video games
On the upside, at least we have a pattern….
I should say that this routine is only one week old, and in my husband’s defense, he was sick last week and couldn’t help with the baby that much. And in my defense, I thrive on multitasking—I love it! It’s like the achievement of a lifetime to get as much done in the smallest amount of time possible.
Also in my husband’s defense, yesterday afternoon, he took the baby from me and sent me to the mall with my best friend for 2 whole hours!
All that to say, I am exhausted, have very little personal time, and am looking forward to my husband being healthy and able to help more.
BUT don’t think I am not enjoying my new life. My Little Man is the best reason ever for me to be this exhausted, and to be honest, I don’t miss my “Me Time” that much, considering I get to spend a lot of quality time with the little guy. He is 9 weeks old today, and over the last 5 weeks he has really started to come alive. For the sake of those who want to know and my own personal memory’s sake here is a timeline of his activities over the last several weeks.
4 weeks – Little Man started making eye contact, moving his head to follow things he had his little eyes on and grasping onto things. Sleeping in about 4 ½ hr stretches at night.
5 weeks – Baby smiles started showing up, although not in response to anything specific.
6 weeks – Little Man started cooing and smiling in response to us as well as in response to his favorite little toys. Slept his first 6 hour stretch.
7 weeks – The cooing turned into gurgles in response to us talking to him, he started moving his head from side to side to explore the world around him. Sleeping has been varied between 4 and 6 hours.
8 weeks – Smiling has turned into laughing – which sounds more like a high pitched squeal of delight than laughter, but it’s awesome. Techy is a pro at making the little guy smile and laugh, which obviously makes him the best dad in the world. The Little Guy has even more control of head movement, including holding it up for several moments at a time—we put him in a Bumbo chair this week, just so we could see if he would like it, and he successfully held his head up for about a minute. Little Man got his first round of shots this week and weathered them like a champ. Barely cried at all and was so well-behaved after they were over. He also got his first cold this week – either that or he is suffering side effects from the shots – whatever the case he has his first runny nose and cough.
Although I am looking forward to the next stage, I am trying to remind myself that as difficult as these days are, this is the only time that my baby boy will be this size and in this stage, and I need to enjoy every minute of it.